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Expanded Moment ~Mary Ellen Ledbetter
Smiley Face Trick #5 Expanded Moment ~Mary Ellen Ledbetter
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Expanded Moment Instead of “speeding” past a moment, writers often emphasize it by “expanding” the actions.
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EXAMPLES: “But no, I had to go to school. And as I said before, I had to listen to my math teacher preach about numbers and letters and figures… I was tired of hearing her annoying voice lecture about ‘a=b divided by x.’ I glared at the small black hands on the clock, silently threatening them to go faster. But they didn’t listen, and I caught myself wishing I were on white sand and looking down at almost transparent pale-blue water with Josh at my side… I don’t belong in some dumb math class. I belong on the beach, where I can soak my feet in caressing water and let the wind wander its way through my chestnut-colored hair and sip Dr. Pepper all day long. I want to grip a straw all day, not a mechanical pencil that will try unsuccessfully to write the answers to unsolvable questions.”
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“And while we’re at it, maybe you’ve noticed the nose thing.”
“What nose thing?” “I swear I’m going stop this car and beat you to a pulp, so you won’t have to worry about the hat or the hair or the nose thing.” “No, really, what nose thing?” “Dad’s nose thing. I don’t know about you, but I’ve already noticed some of those Grand-Canyon-like pores and those unsightly black hairs creeping out like Shirley Temple’s tendrils or something.” “Oh, yeah, I see one in your left nostril now.” “Shut up! As I was saying, I have this picture. I am finally at that expensive French restaurant with that extremely good looking mail boy at my office, the one who could be on the cover of those really tacky romance novels, the one that has never had a pimple in his life—well, as we’re sipping our drinks, he says, “you have a piece of fuzz—or something—in your nose,’ and he proceeds to try to brush it off (by being the romantic that he is), but it’s attached, so he keeps pulling and pulling…it’s a total nightmare.” “Oh.”
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My sister likes to boss me around—do this, do that, is all I ever hear from her—the fact that she is three years older doesn’t make her the boss of me! Just last week when my parents were both late getting home from work for the third time, I was minding my own business watching cartoons when I hear her high-pitched “I-am-the-boss-of-you” voice tell me to turn off the TV and vacuum the floor. I tried ignoring her until she stepped right in front of the screen with one hand on her hip and the other waving her skinny, ugly finger in my face, repeating her orders—only this time much louder. Who did she think she was? What did it matter to her if the crumbs from my cheese crackers had littered the floor with tiny little flakes of orange? All I wanted was to be left alone so that I could watch Tom be tormented by Jerry. But all she wanted was to ruin my life and act like my mother. Someday when we’re both grown-up she’s going to be sorry she ever thought she could tell me what to do.
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*Your writing may be real or fictional—have fun with it!
The tables are turned now. Using one the following prompts, write a full-page story using Smiley-Face Trick #5: Expanded Moment. Tell about memorable moment between you and another member of your family. Use an expanded moment to tell about your best friend and show why they are your best friend. Tell about a terrible, horrible, very bad day by using an expanded moment to highlight the worst part. *Your writing may be real or fictional—have fun with it!
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