1. How can we best complete a revision of the first thematic essay?

2. How many PARTS are there in the task of this particular thematic essay?
SIX!

3. Common errors I found…
Missing an intro or conclusion (best grade you can get is a “2” on the actual REGENTS! )
Missing a strong thesis statement. Some students restated the theme or task without being very specific, especially in their introduction.
Poorly organized – Think about the order of how you present the topics (Great Comp before 3/5, Articles before Constitutional Convention)
IGNORED the specific tasks!
Lacks specific HISTORICAL details to address the tasks.
Too descriptive! Not enough ANALYSIS!
Most students simply described what the events were without evaluation of how they CHANGED society both then and now!

4. A weak thesis A better thesis
Turning points changed the way people lived both then and today.
A better thesis
Two of the most significant turning points in history were the ratification of the Articles of Confederation and the ratification of the U.S. Constitution, which led to major political, social, and economic changes in the new nation as well as today.

5. Example of an analytical statement
The ratification of the Articles of Confederation was an important step towards a set of rules in the newly independent United States. However, it presented major weaknesses regarding distribution of powers and taxation, which called for the creation of a new governing document that would help bring stability to the new nation. These were the concluding sentences of a body paragraph. Most students did not have any transitions between their paragraphs.

6. Analysis and Transitions
In contrast… However… In comparison… Both… Similarly… This shows that… The importance of the evidence is… It is clear that…

7. If you received marks in the 2 or 3 range…

8. If you received marks of a 4 or higher…

9. Review and Revise Add notes to places where you needed more details.
If you received a “75” or lower – You MUST do a revision. For everyone else it is optional! (DUE THIS FRIDAY DECEMBER 9th)
Review your own essay TONIGHT.
Add notes to places where you needed more details.
Where you needed a transition, add a sentence.
Where you needed analysis, see how you can analyze or evaluate.