1. The images in this power point could recall past trauma
The images in this power point could recall past trauma. Please proceed with caution.

2. 1 in 3 teens know a friend who has been punched, kicked, slapped or choked.
Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend had threatened violence or self-harm when faced with a break- up.
1 in 6 women have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.
1 in 33 men have experienced an attempted or completed rape by the age of 18.
Girls ages are 4 times more likely to be victims of sexual assault or rape.
1.5 million people are abused per year. (40% are never reported!)

3. Physical
Verbal
Emotional
Sexual
Financial

4. Hitting, kicking, pushing, tripping, biting, pinching, hair pulling, burning, choking (strangling), slapping, dragging, arm or neck pulling,…

5. Name calling, humiliating, teasing, spreading rumors, telling secrets, put downs, cussing,…

6. Damaging your property (destroying pictures, letters, mementos, clothes, car) , isolating you from friends, always checking your cell phone and computer to see who you’ve talked to, taking your things, spying on you, going through your things without your permission,…

7. Unwanted sexual touching, treating someone like a sex object (ie, grabbing a girl’s breast or buttocks), forced sex, continued sexual advances after being told no, pantsing someone in front of others,…

8. Using emotions for financial gain, making/tricking your partner into paying for all the dates, taking partner’s money,…

9. Healthy Relationship= One feels safe, respected and listened to
Unhealthy Relationship= One feels pressured to do things they don’t want to do, partner controls who you spend time with or how you act by using violence, threats or insults
Dating and Sexual Violence DO NOT DISCRIMINATE= They occur in same sex as well as opposite sex couples and either gender can be abusive

10. The cause of violence is not anger, but the need for power and control over someone else.
Rape is never about sex.
It’s always about power and control.

11. Extreme jealousy
Isolates you from friends/family
Controls what you wear, what you do and who you see
Is abusive towards others, especially family members
Blames others for own misbehavior or failures
Expects you to meet all of their needs and be the perfect partner
Acts hurt when they don’t get their way
Has been cruel to animals

12. Has ever hit a partner in the past
Has ever threatened violence,
even if it wasn’t serious
Calls you names, puts you down or curses you
Switches from being very nice to being angry quickly
If male, believes women are inferior to men
and should obey them
Is intimidating, using threatening body language,
punching walls or breaking objects
Holds you against your will to keep you from
walking away or leaving the room

13. Assess your own values about how women and men are supposed to act
Decide what standard of conduct you will hold your child to in a relationship
Be truthful – dating has ups and downs but violence is NEVER acceptable in any way
Help them set what their boundaries will be in a relationship – practice setting them
Teach them how to be assertive – they have the right to say no yet respect others rights as well
Teach them anger control – how to recognize it, calm down and/or walk away
Teach them how to problem solve – for each solution ask “Is it safe?”, “Is it fair?”, “Will it work?” and “How might people feel?”
Explain that some secrets are not good and which ones these are, eg. suicide threat
Be the positive role model – respect yourself, your partner and others

14. Stay open – don’t overreact
Actively listen and believe them– get on their level, make friendly eye contact, lovingly touch and give undivided attention
Use examples they can relate to (popular movies…)
Talk to your child often – ask questions about their life
If you don’t know the answer, say so and help them find the answer
If you are concerned, you may have to bring it up but don’t push to have the conversation
Let them know you are always there to talk

15. What do you think a healthy relationship looks like?
Who do you think has a healthy relationship? Why?
What do you think an unhealthy relationship looks like?
Who do you think has an unhealthy relationship? Why?
Do you think arguing is healthy?
How can you stand up for yourself?
Are any of your friends dating?
What are their relationships like?

16. What do you want in a partner?
Have you ever witnessed teen dating violence?
How did you feel? Scared?
Have you ever heard of someone being sexually assaulted?
What would you do if you ever witnessed or experienced teen dating violence?
Has anyone you know ever posted something bad about a friend online? What happened afterwards?
Would it be weird if someone you were dating texted you all day to ask what you are doing?

17. Tell them you are worried for their safety and what is happening is not normal
Provide non-judgmental support and understanding – be sure to tell them it is NOT their fault
Believe them and take them very seriously
Do not put down their partner
Consult with your local domestic violence or sexual violence agencies to determine if a report and safety plan need to be made
Support them in the process if a report is made
Give them resources: websites, phone numbers, injunctions, counselors,…
Remember that ultimately it will be your child’s decision to leave or not

18. Excessive texting or e-mails
Change in mood to depressed and/or anxious
Stops extracurricular activities or other interests
Partner is extremely jealous or possessive
Begins to dress promiscuously or over modestly
Mood swings
Stops spending time with friends and/or family
Has unexplained marks or bruises

19. Their partner abuses other people or animals
Comes on very strong, extremely charming and an overly smooth talker
Abuses drugs or alcohol
Was or is abused by a parent
Witnessed domestic violence growing up
Quick involvement, saying “I love you” early on in the relationship

20. ?!? Love and hope Loyalty Make light of the abuse Abuse=Love
Hopelessness
Embarrassment and shame
Blame self
Lack of support
Fear
Not wanting to be alone
Wanting to “fix” them
?!?

21. TELL SOMEONE YOUR PLAN
(WHEN, WHERE & HOW)
NEVER DO IT BY YOURSELF IN A SECLUDED AREA!
WAYS TO SAFELY
Over the phone
Texting
Letter
ALWAYS HAVE A SAFETY PLAN READY!
END IT …
On social media – send a direct message
Go with a group of friends

22. Avoid being alone
Tell a trusted adult
Keep a journal
Tell the police and/or seek injunction
Change your routines
Tell family and friends where you are at all times
Tell the school resource officer and/or school administrator
Don’t go where you think they may be
Talk with your local agencies for assistance
Check with your teen before allowing visitors in the home