1. Driving Hope – Who’s steering??
What does FASD look like in adults?
What can we do to support our adult children when we aren’t ‘steering’ any more?

2. What’s happening Now? Primary disabilities are still there
Secondary disabilities are compounding some of the primary ones
What is FASD and what isn’t?
Expectations
Marion Tudor Network Parent Retreat 2018

3. Fish Picture Test
Put your name in the top right-hand corner of the page
Draw an x on the starfish
Write your initials on the flag
Count the bubbles and write the number in the bottom left-hand corner of the page
Fill in the crab’s claw
Draw a circle around the smallest fish
Write the date in the bottom right-hand corner of the page, with year first, then month then day
When you’re done, fold the paper in half and hold it above your head
Marion Tudor Network Parent Retreat 2018

4. Transitioning from living with family to living in the community
Interdependence (Independence may come later)
Build skills ahead of time
Don’t hurry the process
Keep things as much the same as possible…..take possessions from home rather than purchase new or used
Set up community support if possible
Marion Tudor Network Parent Retreat 2018

5. Mental health issues 90% Depression, stress, anxiety
Know that it’s not intentional
Find support people/counsellors who understand FASD and can be ongoing supports
Interdependence
Medication
Depression, stress and anxiety – why not, if school and teen years have been challenging and the person hasn’t found their place in the community. Lack of success in school and with friends….may not feel hope for the future. Can see friends moving forward but not having success themselves. May unintentionally take it out on you.
Marion Tudor Network Parent Retreat 2018

6. Addictions May be familial
May start as self-medication, may go off medication when using drugs/alcohol
Alters the person’s view of themselves temporarily
Try to prevent drug/alcohol use as long as possible
Support ‘good’ friendships in peer group
Try to build self-esteem – find things they are good at
Addictions services
Longer treatment programs/healing/living skills
Boundaries at home
Marion Tudor Network Parent Retreat 2018

7. Justice Dysmaturity/Impulsivity
Perpetrator – wanting to have friends/peers, not understanding consequences of actions
Victim – difficulty assessing who is safe and who is not.
May plead guilty because they can’t remember
Start early with role plays, social stories
Open communication
May need more supervision as a teen/adult than as a child….difficult!
Carry a card re. FASD
Carry a card with emergency contacts
Marion Tudor Network Parent Retreat 2018

8. Education and employment
Understanding time/money, full time/part time
Choosing the right job
Authority figures
Understanding tone of voice
Part time work may be best
Work that is clearly defined, needs few decisions
Supportive work environment/mentor/coach
Role play/practice re. speaking to the boss, co-workers
May not be able to work
Marion Tudor Network Parent Retreat 2018

9. Housing and homelessness
Concrete thinking
Money issues
Financial support
Difficulty living alone
Difficulty sharing with someone
Signing contracts
Have rent and utilities paid straight to the agency
Bank account with 2 signers
Trustee?
Marion Tudor Network Parent Retreat 2018

10. Cooking and math 6 2 10 3 4 7 What is a cup? Which is bigger?
Marion Tudor Network Parent Retreat 2018

11. Time How long does it take to cook rice? Sausages? Peas?
How long does it take to get to work?
When should the baby be fed next? Changed?
When did I last take my medication?
Calendar/white board/phone
Interdependence – don’t be afraid to ask
Semi-prepared foods?
Practice
Marion Tudor Network Parent Retreat 2018

12. Relationship and friendship issues
Social skills delayed
Difficulty recognizing emotions
Shares too much
Time/money issues
Internet
Start early with modelling, practice
Verbally recognize emotions….are you feeling frustrated? Angry?
Talk about privacy/oversharing
Parent/child relationship……balancing act, may have to pull back – violence, addictions
Let us know early….kicked out of apartment/ married
Don’t share PIN, sign for others’ debts
Marion Tudor Network Parent Retreat 2018

13. Sexuality Birth control Development as usual
Hormones raging in a person who is less emotionally mature than peers
Abusive relationships/violence
Teach privacy, how to say ‘no’, personal space, rights
Supervision around younger friends
Birth control
Birth control
Marion Tudor Network Parent Retreat 2018

14. Parenting with FASD Concrete thinking Passage of time
What is an emergency?
More challenging as the child gets older and becomes more independent
Find out what works…..tight schedule, reminders
Encourage use of community supports
Respite?
May have to step in with safety issues….social services
May be parenting our grandchildren
Marion Tudor Network Parent Retreat 2018

15. What we know: Maturity takes much longer for people with FASD
Many of our family members with FASD have jobs, and keep them
Some have finished post-secondary education courses successfully
Some are parenting safely and successfully
Our adult children are still part of our family circle
Marion Tudor Network Parent Retreat 2018

16. As they drive away…… We find ways to let go, bit by bit, over time
We respect their privacy
We take care of ourselves
We consider what will happen after we are gone
Marion Tudor Network Parent Retreat 2018