1. “The Shipping News” Body Paragraph Review

2. The prompt:
Write an essay in which you analyze how the author uses diction, details, and figurative language to create a complex character.

3. The task: Find the “unknowns” and answer the questions
Write an essay in which you analyze how the author uses diction, details, and figurative language to create a complex character.

4. Answer the questions: Diction: Figurative language Details Negative
Mind like “artic lung”
Isolating
Allusion to “changeling”
Insulting
Imagery about his appearance
Ridiculing
Details
His family
His weight
His career/schooling

5. Answer the questions: Character: Insecure Lonely Self-conscious
Isolated
Depressed

6. Write a TS that answers the prompt; fill in with work from before
Write a TS that answers the prompt; fill in with work from before. - The author uses/includes __________ in order to portray Quoyle as a __________ character.
Diction:
Figurative language
Character:
Negative
Insecure
Mind like “artic lung”
Isolating
Lonely
Insulting
Self-conscious
Allusion to “changeling”
Ridiculing
Isolated
Details
Depressed
Imagery about his appearance
His family
His weight
His career/schooling

7. TS Check Do you answer all parts of the question?
Is your language clear?
Ex: The author includes visual imagery of Quolye’s appearance in order to portray Quoyle as a self-conscious character.

8. Then, add your quotes (Concrete Detail)
Depending on the TS, these may be different as needed.
For TS, let’s write: The author includes visual imagery of Quolye’s appearance in order to portray Quoyle as a self- conscious character.
Quotes:
“a head taller than any child around”
“Quoyle curled, hands over head”
“a failure of normal appearance”
“great damp loaf of a body”
Then, pick the best quote to match your TS

9. Or, you may want to select the quote first BEFORE you write the TS
Let’s say you want to include the simile about Quoyle’s mind like an “artic lung” to note his confusion and isolation
Go back to the brainstorming from earlier and make the TS perfectly suit the evidence that you will use. This is often the BEST way to ensure that your TS and CD match.
- The author uses/includes __________ in order to portray Quoyle as a __________ character.

10. - The author uses/includes __________ in order to portray Quoyle as a __________ character.
Diction:
Allusion to “changeling”
Negative
Imagery about his appearance
Isolating
Insulting
Character:
Ridiculing
Insecure
Details
Lonely
His family
Self-conscious
His weight
Isolated
His career/schooling
Depressed
Figurative language
Mind like “artic lung”

11. CD – How to embed
Do not use a full-sentence quotation. Your own commentary or ideas should support and elaborate the quotation.
Not embedded: Richard Cory had everything going for him. “He was a gentleman from sole to crown.” “And he was rich—yes, richer than a king.”
Embedded: Richard Cory had everything going for him. Not only was he a “gentleman from sole to crown,” but he was “richer than a king.”

12. CD Check Does your CD prove your TS?
Are the quotes embedded into the sentence?
Do you cite the quote?
Do you explain the context of the quote?
The author includes visual imagery of Quolye’s appearance in order to portray Quoyle as a self- conscious character. Quoyle is described as having a “great damp loaf of a body,” for which he is ridiculed by his father and brother (Proux 1).

13. Commentary (CM) For the commentary, go back to your TS.
“The author includes visual imagery of Quolye’s appearance in order to portray Quoyle as a self- conscious character.”
We need to EXPLAIN how the “damp loaf” of Quoyle’s body means that he is self-conscious. I can also explain the connection to his brother and father that I brought up in the context for my CD.

14. CM Check Do you definitively PROVE your TS?
Are all the sentences on topic stated in your TS?
Are any of the sentences repetitive?
EX: The author includes visual imagery of Quolye’s appearance in order to portray Quoyle as a self-conscious character. Quoyle is described as having a “great damp loaf of a body,” for which he is ridiculed by his father and brother (Proux 1). Quoyle’s body is described as large, doughy, and shapeless. Even though he is tall, he is unattractive, so his height makes his ugliness stand out all the more. The fact that he is described as “damp” implies that he is sweaty and uncomfortable as well.

15. Concluding Sentence
After you have written your CM, and you are sure that it proves your point, read your paragraph again, and see if there is anything else that you could say
You might consider:
Connecting to a universal theme:
All people who are ridiculed feel self-conscious
People who we should be able to trust are often the most cruel
Comment on something you discussed already:
How cruel his family is  this might be what led to his overeating
Make some kind of insight:
Quoyle will likely be a tragic character

16. CS Check Do you say something new?
Do you wrap up the ideas in the paragraph?
Are you thinking beyond the lines?
The author includes visual imagery of Quolye’s appearance in order to portray Quoyle as a self-conscious character. Quoyle is described as having a “great damp loaf of a body,” for which he is ridiculed by his father and brother (Proux 1). Quoyle’s body is described as large, doughy, and shapeless. Even though he is tall, he is unattractive, so his height makes his ugliness stand out all the more. The fact that he is described as “damp” implies that he is sweaty and uncomfortable as well. His discomfort and his family’s cruelty show how people who we should be able to trust are often the most cruel.

17. Review your paragraphs now:
What do you notice needs some work?
Then, rewrite your paragraph on a separate page.