1. Rude vs. Mean vs. Bullying
Because everything isn’t bullying!!!

2. Rude Accidentally saying or doing something
that hurts feelings or embarrasses someone
Also inconsiderate thoughtless, unplanned behavior, bad manners, only thinking about yourself, not meant to actually hurt anyone
EXAMPLES: Burping, coughing, sneezing on others, bragging about the highest grade, cutting in line, horseplay, being disrespectful, getting in personal space

3. Mean
Saying or doing something on purpose to hurt someone maybe once or twice
Sometimes said in anger to make someone else look bad, we usually feel regret later
EXAMPLES: criticizing or making fun someone’s clothes, looks, intelligence, skin, language, breaking or stealing others belongings

4. Bullying
Behavior that is on purpose, repeated over time and involves an imbalance of power
4 types of bullying:
Physical: actions that hurt your body
Verbal: words that hurt your feelings
Friendship: words/actions that hurt your friendships, using a friendship or threatening to take friendship away
Cyberbullying: intentional, repeated harmful behavior using technology

5. When you See or Hear Bullying
Be a bystander – SOMEONE WHO IS PRESENT WHEN BULLYING TAKES PLACE BUT DOES NOT TAKE PART IN IT
Be an ally – SOMEONE WHO MAKES A DECISION TO SUPPORT ANOTHER PERSON BECAUSE IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO
Be a friend – SOMEONE WHO YOU LIKE AND TRUST AND WHO HELPS AND SUPPORTS YOU
When you See or Hear Bullying

6. Examples
Kayla tells MacKenzie that she can’t sit with her on the bus today because she is saving the seat for Toniyah.
Lucas tells Damien that he can’t play with the Legos because he is the worst builder in the whole first grade.
Kayla is being rude, but here is no evidence of intentional meanness, repetitive behavior, or a power imbalance
2. Lucas is being mean. It appear that his words are intended to hurt Damien. There is no evidence of repeated behavior or a power imbalance.

7. Examples
Brady told JP he would beat him up if he touched his cars, then shoved JP out of his way. During math class, he threw a spitball at JP and kicked his chair out from under him. He threatened to Punch JP if JP told the teacher.
Brady is acting like a bully. He is engaging in a repetitive cruel behavior, designed to hurt JP. He is using intimidation and threats to create a power imbalance.

8. Review
Rude: Inconsiderate, thoughtless, unplanned behavior, bad manners, only thinking about yourself, not meant to actually hurt anyone
Mean: Saying or doing something on purpose to hurt someone, maybe once or twice, usually in anger
Bully: on purpose, repeated over time and involves and imbalance of power

9. Resources Whitson, Signe,
This PowerPoint created by:

10. Parents

11. My Job / Your Job Teacher’s Job Not Teacher’s Job Ask more than tell
Intervene if a student is being bullied
Administer logical consequences
Be the student’s advocate
Keep students safe
Create a positive leaning environment
Differentiate between tattling and telling
Teach
Be inclusive
Identify bullying as “RIP”
Listen to the student
Tell or yell
Punish
Coerce
Threaten
Promise, Be sarcastic
Intimidate
Rescue
Warn students
Make fun of students
Play favorites
Blame the student

12. My Job / Your Job Student’s Job Not student’s Job
Come prepared to class
Help other students and adults
Stand up, step up, and speak up
Befriend other students
Include students
Report safety concerns
Be respectful
Do the right thing
Use problem solving skills
Mistreat or abuse others
Model bullying behaviors
Use threatening language
Intimidate other students
Coerce/harass other students
Tattle
Exclude others
Be mean to others
Call others hurtful names

13. Documentation Student Log Staff Incident Report
Statement from Bullying Aggressor
Statement from Bullied Target
Statement from other Witnesses/Bystanders

14. APPS PARENTS SHOULD MONITOR
Kik
Yik Yak
Ask.fm
Does not require a phone number or address; users can chat with unknown people; apps within the app make it difficult to monitor
An anonymous posting forum; uses a GPS locator that allows anyone within a certain radius to see your child’s messages; comments on posts can often start innocently and escalate
Uses a Q&A format that encourages users to post questions that anyone using the app can answer; have had reports of bullying on the app; anyone has the ability to block other users

15. APPS PARENTS SHOULD MONITOR
Whisper
Best Secret Folder
Social Media
Anonymous app where users post any confessions they may have; only 17+ older are supposed to be on Whisper; can expose the user’s location
Helps hide content from parents; looks like a utility folder, so it is easy to overlook on the kids’ phone
You are not being noisy by looking at your kids posts