1. The Neuroscience of Conflict How to Calm People ‘High on Conflict’ Suzanne Sherkin, Q.Med HR Insider & OHS Insider March 19, 2018

2. The power of our thoughts
Our mind is constantly processing information – and matching it up with what we know, what we think we know, and how we feel about what we know.
Our conclusions affect everything!

3. The power of unconscious bias
Our ‘old’ brain is wired to identify friend from foe and trigger flight/fight responses.
When we’re not familiar with something, our brain categorizes it negatively and sends us into progressive thinking.
The result: stereotyping, prejudices and discrimination

4. Types of biases Gender bias Non-verbal behaviours
Cultural bias Educational bias
Age bias Linguistic bias
First impressions Stereotype bias
Performance bias Affinity bias
Communication-style bias
Types of biases

6. The bombardment of information
11 billion bits of information coming at us every second . We can only process 128 bits per second (bps)
Our senses filter out the most of the info:
Eyes: 10m bps // Skin: 1m bps // Ears: 100,000 bps // Smell: 100,000 bps // Taste: 1,000 bps
… ‘Reality is merely an illusion – albeit a persistent one!’ Einstein
The bombardment of information

7. What we need to accomplish
Help increase the self-awareness of those in conflict so they can accurately perceive their own emotions
Help increase the social-awareness of those in conflict so they can be open to the emotions in someone else

8. NO THINKING CAN TAKE PLACE WHEN EMOTIONS ARE HIGH
The key message

9. CLAIM is a great strategy for de-escalating
Claim your calm
CLAIM is a great strategy for de-escalating
C – Centre yourself
L – Listen for what’s important to the other person
A – Acknowledge what you heard
I – Invite more information
M – Move towards problem solving

10. More strategies
Help them shift into a listening state of mind 1. Create emotional safety for the conversation 2. Practice active listening 3. Find out what’s underneath the surface 4. Separate the person from the problem 5. Stay solution focused

11. Useful points to remember
1. Be aware of your own unconscious bias 2. Intentionally create a tone of calm 3. Use strategies to help people HEAR each other 4. Use CLAIM to de-escalate high emotions 5. Give disputants the tools to help them think clearly.

12. Suzanne Sherkin, Q.Med suz@highborncommunications.com 416-414-6552
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Suzanne Sherkin, Q.Med