1. Presenter:

2. Promoting Healthy Dating Relationships
Healthy Relationships
Unhealthy Relationships
Emotional Abuse
Physical Assault
Sexual Assault
Prevention/Getting Help
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

3. Where do we get our ideas about dating & relationships?
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

4. Healthy Relationships: Are these things present?
Trust & Support
Independence
Honesty
Respect
Good
Communication
Shared Responsibility
Fairness
Safety/Non-Violence
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

5. Loving Someone Means... Each person:
Listens to the other person and his/her ideas
Considers the other’s needs
Exchanges physical affection consistent with the relationship
Lets the other be first sometimes
Takes care of him/her self
Feels comfortable
Wishes to be with the other person
Feels valued in the relationship
Values the differences between them
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

6. Dating Violence
The emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse of one partner by the other in a dating relationship where the couple is not living together.
Couple= ♂♀ ♀♀ ♂♂
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

7. Dating Violence Statistics
More than 1/4 of victims and 3 of 10 offenders see violence in a dating relationship as a sign of love
The average age of the first violent relationship experience is 15 years
1 Sugarman & Hotaling, 1989
2 Gelles, R. J., & Straus, M. A. (1988). Intimate violence. The causes and consequences of abuse in the American family. Toronto: Simon and Schuster.
3 Henton et al, 1983
Over half of students who experience violence at the hands of a dating partner remained involved with the person. (Cate, 1982,p.85)
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

8. Power
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

9. Emotional Abuse Rejecting Degrading Terrorizing Isolating Corrupting
Ignoring
Terrorizing
Corrupting
Exploiting
Controlling
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

10. Prevent Emotional Abuse
Keep your support network intact.
Don’t accept inappropriate or disrespectful treatment. Stop it before it starts.
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

11. Physical Assault Hitting Slapping Punching Kicking Shoving Throwing
The intentional use of force or threats of force on another person in an attempt to control behaviour and/ or intimidate.
Examples:
Hitting
Slapping
Punching
Kicking
Shoving
Throwing
Pulling hair
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

12. Cycle of Abuse
The cycle will continue and the severity of violence will increase unless there is intervention.
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

13. Prevent Physical Assault
Be aware of:
The Emotional Assault warning signs.
Signs of a potentially abusive partner:
Unable to cope with difficult emotions, has a bad temper, may break things, justifies or thinks violence is funny, uses drugs or alcohol, or lacks empathy or compassion.
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

14. Sexual Assault Kissing Flashing Touching Fondling Intercourse Oral sex
When someone forces any form of sexual activity on someone else without that person’s consent
Examples:
Kissing
Flashing
Touching
Fondling
Intercourse
Oral sex
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

15. Consent Consent is active, not passive. Consent is based on choice.
Consent is not manipulated.
Consent is not coerced.
Consent is not submission due to fear.
Consent is freely given.
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

16. Age of Consent
The legal age to consent to sexual activity in Canada is 16 years old.
Effective May 1, 2008, the legal age of consent in Canada was raised from 14 – 16 years.
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

17. Close-in-Age Exemptions for Youth Aged 12–15
If a youth is 12 or 13 the law allows for consent to sexual activity with someone less than 2 years older
If a youth is 14 or 15 the law allows for consent to sexual activity with someone less than 5 years older
A youth of 16 or 17, is considered under the law to be able to consent to sexual activity with an adult, regardless of age
The law is focused on prohibiting sexual activity between youth and adults, not on criminalizing sexual activity between peers, and so contains a “Close in age” exemptions for youth between the ages of 12 – 15
**There would be an exception if the couple was married, live common law, are pregnant or parenting together.
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

18. Regardless of Age Consent does NOT exist when...
the older person is in a position of trust or authority
one person threatens or uses force
a third party says “yes” for someone
a person is incapable of consent (e. g. intoxicated)
the person expressed in words or conduct a lack of agreement (e. g. saying “no”)
the person changed his/ her mind at any point
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

19. Prevent Sexual Assault
Go to parties and on dates in groups. There is strength & protection in numbers.
Look out for your friends. Do a head count every so often and make sure you know where everyone is.
Always have a plan for a ride home before you go out.
Avoid drugs and alcohol.
Avoid being alone with people you don’t know.
Be firm and assertive about your sexual boundaries. Know your limits and communicate them clearly.
Do not push boundaries and respect another person’s boundaries.
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

20. Intervention for Sexual Assault
Access the hospital within 72 hours to preserve evidence.
There are several choices at the hospital and a victim can choose 1 or all depending on their comfort level:
Physical exam to determine harm
Medical Testing – for STDs, pregnancy
Sexual Assault Kit- evidence gathering
Reporting to the Police
Support – counseling
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

21. Youth Criminal Justice Act
Youth ages 12 – 17 can be charged with a crime.
There are many sentencing options under the YCJA. Some of the options include:
Community Service
Probation
A fine
Custody
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

22. Youth Criminal Justice Act
Youth custody can range from a maximum of 2 years to 10 years depending on the type of custody sentence and the type of crime committed.
Youth can be sentenced as an adult if they are:
Over the age of 14 years **
** this age varies from Province to Province.
An adult sentence can be given only if the Crown Counsel can prove that an adult sentence is appropriate.
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

23. PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

24. Where to go for HELP
Talk to someone you trust (e.g. parents, school counsellor)
Sexual assault and information centre
Hospital emergency ward
Police
Transition Houses for women and children (referrals from the police)
Crisis Centre
Keep trying until you get the help you need
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS

25. How to Help a Friend Listen to your friend
Express regret and empathize
Affirm your friend as a courageous person for disclosing
Decide on how you will support your friend
Report/Refer
Defining Options:
who to tell
counselling
medical care
confronting assailant
reporting to school authorities
reporting to police
laying charges
suing assailant in civil court
PROMOTING HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIPS