1. Steps to assertiveness MGAW, Tuesday, 03 June 2014Tuesday, 03 June 2014Tuesday, 03 June 2014Tuesday, 03 June 2014

2. Steps to assertiveness Assertiveness is based on a philosophy of: PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY and an AWARENESS OF THE RIGHTS OF OTHER PEOPLE In other words it means being honest with yourself and others. and saying directly what you want, you need or feel BUT not at the expense of other people!

3. Steps to assertiveness Assertiveness is not: Getting your own way and winning every time Getting your own way and winning every time A series of quick fix tricks or techniques to learn parrot fashion and then trot out in difficult situations. A series of quick fix tricks or techniques to learn parrot fashion and then trot out in difficult situations. A way to manipulate and manage other people so that you yet your own way whilst looking as though you are considering others. A way to manipulate and manage other people so that you yet your own way whilst looking as though you are considering others. The above are examples of aggressive behaviour The above are examples of aggressive behaviour

4. Steps to assertiveness Aggressive behaviour: Standing up for your own rights, but doing so in such a way that you violate the rights of other people. Standing up for your own rights, but doing so in such a way that you violate the rights of other people. Ignoring or dismissing the needs, wants, opinions, feelings or beliefs of others. Ignoring or dismissing the needs, wants, opinions, feelings or beliefs of others. Expressing your own needs, wants and opinions (honest or dishonest) in inappropriate ways. Expressing your own needs, wants and opinions (honest or dishonest) in inappropriate ways.

5. Steps to assertiveness Assertiveness is not: Standing up for your rights but in such a way that others can easily disregard them. Standing up for your rights but in such a way that others can easily disregard them. Expressing your needs, wants, opinions, feelings and beliefs in apologetic, diffident or self-effacing ways. Expressing your needs, wants, opinions, feelings and beliefs in apologetic, diffident or self-effacing ways. Failing to honestly express your needs, wants, opinions, feelings and beliefs. Failing to honestly express your needs, wants, opinions, feelings and beliefs. The above are examples of passive behaviour The above are examples of passive behaviour

6. Steps to assertiveness Passive behaviour: The other persons needs and wants are more important than your own. The other persons needs and wants are more important than your own. The other person has rights as if you dont! The other person has rights as if you dont! Feeling you have little or nothing to contribute and others do. Feeling you have little or nothing to contribute and others do.

7. Steps to assertiveness 3 steps to assertiveness: 1. Actively listen to what is being said then show the other person that you both hear and understand them. 2. Say what you think or what you feel. 3. Say what you want to happen.

8. Steps to assertiveness 3 steps to assertiveness: 1. Actively listen to what is being said then show the other person that you both hear and understand them. 2. Say what you think or what you feel. 3. Say what you want to happen. Step one forces you to focus on the other person and not use the time they are talking to build up a defence or attack. By really listening you are able to demonstrate some understanding and empathy for their situation even if you dont wholly agree with it.

9. Steps to assertiveness 3 steps to assertiveness: 1. Actively listen to what is being said then show the other person that you both hear and understand them. 2. Say what you think or what you feel. 3. Say what you want to happen. Step two enables you to directly state your thoughts or feelings without apology. The word HOWEVER is a good link between step 1 and step 2. BUT tends to be contradictory and can be unhelpful.

10. Steps to assertiveness 3 steps to assertiveness: 1. Actively listen to what is being said then show the other person that you both hear and understand them. 2. Say what you think or what you feel. 3. Say what you want to happen. Step three is essential so that you can indicate in a clear and straightforward way what action or outcome you want without hesitancy or insistence.

11. Representing yourself Representing yourself Steps to assertiveness Volunteer for committees and projects Volunteer for committees and projects Keep yourself informed of whats happening Keep yourself informed of whats happening Avoid arrogance, aggression and being passive. Avoid arrogance, aggression and being passive. Maintain a positive attitude and avoid conflict. Maintain a positive attitude and avoid conflict.