1. Interpersonal Relationship Skills
Basanta Raj Sigdel
Shailaja Upadhyaya

2. Forethought
No matter what we do, we do it with people. People create technology. People implement the technology. People make it all happen. People ultimately use whatever it is we create. No matter how small your organization or how technical its process, it takes people to be successful.
Harry E. Chambers
Author, The Bad Attitude Survival Guide
NASC
2017

3. Facts and inferences
Diva, buyer with XYZ company, was scheduled for a10 o’ clock meeting in Singh’s office to discuss the terms of a large order. On the way to that office, the buyer slipped on a freshly waxed floor and as a result received a badly bruised leg. By the time Singh was notified of the accident, Diva was on the way to the hospital for X-ray. Singh called the hospital but no one there seemed to know anything about Diva. It is possible that Singh called the wrong hospital.
NASC
2017

4. Facts and Inferences contd..
1. Mr. Diva is a buyer.
2.Diva was supposed to meet with Singh.
3. Diva was scheduled for a 10 “0”clock meeting.
4.The accident occurred at the XYZ company.
5. Diva was taken to the hospital for X-ray.
6.No-one of the hospital which Singh called knew anything about Diva.
7. Singh had called the wrong hospital.
NASC
2017

5. Learning Point Listening is the Key Taking notes??
Confirming understanding.
NASC
2017

6. WE KNOW THIS
communication is the process by which people exchange information, feelings, and meaning through verbal and non-verbal messages.
Communication is the key for all relations
NASC
2017

7. How does a person communicate? I like your Idea. I disagree.
I hate it.
I LOVE WHAT YOU JUST SAID…!!
NASC
2017

8. Feelings and Attitudes
Words 7%
Tone of voice 38%
Nonverbal behavior 55%
Albert Mehrabian ,Communication Studies
NASC
2017

9. Use them all !
NASC
2017

10. Interpersonal relationship
Reciprocal social and emotional interaction between two or more individuals in an environment
Close association between individuals who share common interests and goal

11. Principles of interpersonal communication
It is inescapable
It is irreversible
It is complicated
NASC
2017

12. Interpersonal Communications
What people talk to each other?
How people talk to each other?
Why people talk to each other the way they do?
We followed a framework..
Transaction Analysis
NASC
2017

13. Exercise
NASC
2017

14. Memories come with Emotions…
…Theory
Human personality is multifaceted
Memories come with Emotions…
Ah !!Ego states
Ah! Ego States!
Sigmund Freud
Wilder Penfield
Eric Berne
NASC
2017

15. Ego states..
“a consistent pattern of feeling and experience directly related to a corresponding consistent pattern of behavior.”
Reflection of deeper rooted psychological orientation.
Parent
Child
Adult
NASC
2017

16. Self reflection
Remember something your parents/guardians often said that you still believe
Remember your childhood and explain how you felt about the rain..
Share one learning from your own experience…
NASC
2017

17. Understanding Ego states
Parent:
The parent represents a massive collection of recordings in the brain of external events experienced or perceived in approximately the first five years of life(or more).
“Never talk to strangers”
“If you are scared ,wake me up”
“ People with Tattoos are bad people”
NASC
2017

18. “It was fun walking barefoot in the rain”
Child:
The Child represents the recordings in the brain of internal events associated with external events the child perceives.
“It was fun walking barefoot in the rain”
“When I saw my teacher angry ,I was really scared”
NASC
2017

19. Allows a person to validate and evaluate “parental” and “child” data.
Adult:
Allows a person to validate and evaluate “parental” and “child” data.
"You have just made an autonomous, objective appraisal of the situation and are stating these thought-processes, or the problems you perceive, or the conclusions you have come to, in a non- prejudicial manner.”
NASC
2017

20. Interpersonal relationship
Stimulus..
Response
Transaction
Parent
Adult
Child
Parent
Adult
Child
NASC
2017

21. Key for PAC
Controlling Parent = do’s and don’ts, set limits, make judgment without logic, rationale and analysis.
Nurturing Parent = loving, caring, protecting and showing sympathy.
Adult = logical, rational, and analytical.
Natural Child = spontaneous, carefree playfulness, curious, energitic,and rebellious.
Adaptive Child = submissive
Litte Professor = creative, institutive and manipulative
NASC
2017

22. Identify Your dominant Ego State
Exercise’s Result
Identify Your dominant Ego State
NASC
2017

23. Building Interpersonal Relationship
Understanding your counterpart’s Ego state.
Understanding what ego state he/she is wanting you to be in..
Responding to your benefit
For All of these analysis your Adult Ego state should be Dominant!!
NASC
2017

24. Complementary transactions
CP and CP
NC and NC
CP and AC
A to A
Your response??
stimulus
people who are not punctual do not work hard
NASC
2017

25. Improving Interpersonal Communication
One to one
Transaction Analysis
Listening-----Understanding------Responding
One to Many
Seeking information
Bringing in
Testing understanding
Proposing
Giving information
Shutting out
Disagreeing
Defending/Attacking
NASC
2017

26. Improving…….. listening skills
Paraphrasing: what the speaker has said to confirm understanding
Looking for central ideas in the message
Clarifying and asking questions until the message is clear.
Concentrating on the message, not on the speaker
Being aware of listening blocks and avoiding them.
NASC
2017

27. Improving Interpersonal Communication
Seeking information
Asking questions to find out what people think
Bringing in
Used to involve a quiet member of the team in the conversation, normally includes using their name
Testing understanding
Making certain that you have really understood another’s contribution, usually by asking questions
Proposing
Suggesting something on which the team can take action. ‘it’s really cold today’ is not a proposal, ‘let’s turn up the heating’ is
Giving information
Offering views and making statements
Shutting out
Any way in which you stop another person from contributing. It can include interruptions, side conversations, asking a question of one person but letting another answer, etc. It can be very subtle
Disagreeing
Anything that says you can’t go along with what’s being proposed or stated
Defending/Attacking
Graduating from disagreeing; getting off the topic and talking about the person. ‘Why can’t you ever make a sensible suggestion?’ is one example. It usually results in the other party fighting back and can continue in a loop for a long time.
NASC
2017

28. Games people play for recognition
It Weren’t For You
What If Yes But
NASC
2017

29. Confirming responses
Messages that tell you that you are valued by the other person
Examples of confirming messages:
“you matter to me”
“you are special”
Nonverbally
Thumbs up,agree-nodd,smile,wide eyes,leaning front..etc.
NASC
2017

30. Value assumptions/life positions
I’m ok, You’re not ok.
I’m not ok, You’re ok.
I’m not ok, You’re also not ok.
I’m ok, You’re also ok.
NASC
2017

31. Thank you.
NASC
2017