1. Steinunn Ása Þorvaldsdóttir Praha 2016
Becoming a woman
Steinunn Ása Þorvaldsdóttir
Praha 2016

2. I am Steinunn My name is Steinunn and I come from Iceland
I went to a special school from 6 to 15 years old
After graduation I went to a four year high school for disabled and non-disabled students
I lived in Italy for few years with my parents
And in 2011 I went to the University of Iceland and graduated in 2013

3. Self-advocacy is a big part of my life
After graduation from the university I opened a café with my friends in Reykjavík
Our aim was to get a job that we liked and also to make disability visible in the city
The café was popular but the city of Reykjavík did not want to support this project and the café closed
I am also work on a TV show which is on the National TV
All members of the cast are disabled people and we talk about all kind of issues – disabled and not disabled issues
We have been nominated many times for TV awards

4. I work in city hall I work in city hall
My job is with the department of human rights
I take part in many committees and some are accessible and some are not
I think it is very important for city hall to have disabled people as staff members
This way I hope I can influence how people view disability

5. Sexuality I am here today to share my story
My story of becoming a woman
Sexuality to me is sometimes complicated
It is not because I am not able to understand
It is because nobody told about it

6. Sex education I did not get any sex education in school
My parents did not talk about sex or sexuality to me
I tried to ask them a lot about it
But they were shy
This means that today when I am a grown woman I sometimes feel confused
I talked to one of my teachers from school
She said that the teachers were shy and did not have any teaching material
I also talked to young disabled women
Some had been in special schools and some in regular schools
Some of them had sex education and felt they were informed
Others did not get any sex education
I think sex and disabled women is a taboo in Iceland

7. Menstruation
When you have not had much sex education menstruation can be a frightening thing
I talked to a group of disabled women
Those who had not had any sex education were scared when they had their first period
One woman thought she was dying
That is why it is so important that we get information not just about our rights but also about our bodies
There is often pain with menstruation
Women who have difficulties to talk or explain their feelings or pain need to get support and understanding
If menstruation is something most women experience why is it so difficult to talk about it with disabled women
When parents and support staff do not want to talk about these things with us we feel really bad
It is also very hurtful when parents and support staff dismiss our feelings
They may understand what is happening to their bodies
But if nobody wants to talk to us about our bodies. We do not know what is happening
If we do not get education. How are we supposed to learn?

8. Gynecologists I talked to 7 young disabled women
And only four of them had been to a gynecologist
All of them agreed that it is a scary thing to go for your first visit
Most of them had been there with their mothers
I went for the first time few months ago
My parents had never talked about this with me
But decided I should go
I talked to a good friend of mine
She booked the appointment and went with me
Everyone at the doctors office were very nice
I was very scared
But having my friend was important
The doctor was very nice and explained carefully what was about to happen
There was no rush
I got a lot of time
And she explained everything to me before I had my examination
My friend held my hand the whole time
Research in Iceland has shown that disabled women often fear going to the gynecologists and also others do not have the support system to make the appointments
But having access to healthcare is our right
But we also have to know that we are supposed to go to the doctor
And if we have not had any sex education
And if nobody wants to talk about these issues with us
Then we might not go

9. Having sex Well if menstruation is a taboo
Then sex is of course also taboo
Research in Iceland tells us that disabled people are often denied to have girlfriends and boyfriends
Parent think we do not understand what it means to have a boyfriend
Many are afraid that we will become pregnant
That is why it is kind of funny that they do not want us to have sex education
I think with good sex education we would learn like other people how to prevent pregnancy
That we need to use condoms
It is important to talk about sex with all people
Disabled people and non-disabled people should be allowed to have sex if they want to
But of course both have agree
And some people disabled and non-disabled do not want to have sex
That is OK too

10. Falling in love
If disabled people are denied to have girlfriends and boyfriends
They are being denied of the happiness of falling in love and even get married
People who use wheelchairs can fall in love
People who are blind can fall in love
Disabled people are people
And people fall in love
And I have fallen in love too
It is nothing to be afraid of
And parents and support staff need to understand that

11. Disability is not the third sex
Some people do not think about disabled people as sexual
I do not agree
I am not the third sex or asexual
I am a woman
I am a strong woman
I can be gay
I can be straight
I can be masculine
I can be feminine
But the young women who I spoke to before coming to Prag told me that people do not expect them to want to be sexual
Nobody asks them if they have a boyfriend or a girlfriend
So it is not enough to teach us about sexuality
Everybody else needs to know
Our parents and support staff needs to understand and respect us as sexual beings

12. Tabú Group That is why self-advocacy is important
I have participated in advocacy with a group of young disabled women
This group is called Tabú
We have been publicly advocating for disability rights
But we have also been supporting each other
This is very important
Some of them had similar experience
It felt good to hear their point of view
They also listen to me
They understand me
And they give me courage

13. Getting support I have told you about some difficulties
I have told you about lack of sex education
I have told you about lack of understanding
But I have also told you about good things
How I have had good support
I think I am able to do almost anything if I have good support
I am learning about my body and about my feelings with support from friends
I think it is very important to be able to talk to other women about these issues
But if we are supposed to do that we might need support
The person supporting us has to understand that we are adults
The person might need to give us information
But we would decide what to talk about
The person supporting us might need to organize our meetings
But we are supposed to be in control
Eiríkur þú hjálpar okkur kannski með þessa glæru

14. Thank you
Thank you very much