1. Competence vs Likeability What was said…+ 2 1
COMPETENT JERK
Very Competent
Not Likable
LOVABLE STAR
Very Competent
Very Likable
Competence 4 3
INCOMPETENT JERK
Not Very Competent
Not Likable
LOVABLE FOOL
Not Very Competent
Very Likable - +
Likability
Source: Tiziana Casciaro and Miguel Sousa Lobo, “Competent Jerks, Lovable Fools and the Formation of Social Networks,” Harvard Business Review, June 2005; Tiziana Casciaro and Miguel Sousa Lobo, “When Competence Is Irrelevant: The Role of Interpersonal Affect in Task-Related ties,” Administrative Science Quarterly, December 2008.

2. Competence vs Likeability What actually happened…+
Mostly avoided 1
COMPETENT JERK
Very Competent
Not Likable
LOVABLE STAR
Very Competent
Very Likable
Competence
Desperately avoided 2
INCOMPETENT JERK
Not Very Competent
Not Likable
LOVABLE FOOL
Not Very Competent
Very Likable - +
Likability
Source: Tiziana Casciaro and Miguel Sousa Lobo, “Competent Jerks, Lovable Fools and the Formation of Social Networks,” Harvard Business Review, June 2005; Tiziana Casciaro and Miguel Sousa Lobo, “When Competence Is Irrelevant: The Role of Interpersonal Affect in Task-Related ties,” Administrative Science Quarterly, December 2008.

3. Speak well of others, even when they are not in the room
Show Your Character
Do what you say you will do
Collaborate; don’t compete
Say, upfront, what you want
Give more than you get
Be professional
Keep confidences
Be reliable
Be on time
Meet deadlines
Keep commitments
Go the extra mile
Go for the win/win situation
Speak well of others, even when they are not in the room

4. Do an excellent job – the first time
Show Your Competence
Continue to develop professional capability
Provide testimonials from satisfied clients
Stay at the leading edge of your profession
Take a visible role
Follow through
Speak or write
Win praise from peers
Give more than you get
Be sure your work meets – or exceeds – expectations
Become a recognised expert
Take lifelong learning seriously
Provide a sample of demonstration
Do an excellent job – the first time

5. The Long Game Relationship Stages
Accidents
…are random encounters – people you’ll never see again, unless one of you reaches out.
Acquaintances
…and you have a contact in common. You can always find them through that contact.
Associates
…are members of the same groups you are a member of (professional association, club, firm etc.)
Actives
…exchange information and resources with you
Advocates
…send opportunities your way, speak up for you, and champion you
Allies
…are committed to your life-long business and personal success and give you constructive criticism, commiserate with you and celebrate with you