1. The Green Eyed-Monster
Coping with Jealousy
PAGE October 15, 2010
CAG Communicator Summer 2010

2. Envy or Jealousy? Envy Jealousy
The desire for something that belongs to someone else.
You just don’t want the other person to have what we don’t have.
Material things
A feeling of resentment that someone else got something that you feel YOU deserved.
Wants what someone else has.
Toward attention, recognition, status or affection.

3. Envy
Usually directed toward those we don’t’ know well.

4. Jealousy Usually directed toward persons who are close to us.
Inner Circle

5. What are the signs? Stop communicating with you
Maybe stop saying hello
Exclusion
Cold shoulder or silent treatment

6. ...How do we expect our friends to react to our good fortune?
Why?
Too painful for them to hang out with you
It hurts to be the target of jealousy- especially by those who are close to you
...How do we expect our friends to react to our good fortune?

7. Hallmarks of jealousy Verbal aggression Gossip Criticize Slander
Say mean things to our face or behind our backs
Can begin aggressively competing with us
Look for ways to spend more time with us
One–upmanship
Imitation- can be flattering or seem aggressive

8. When to be concerned Sabotage Physical aggression Cyber bullying
Photoshop
Sabotage
Physical aggression
Cyber bullying
harassment
Social networking
Phoebe Prince

9. Cultural and Gender Differences
Culture
Girls tend to react supportively to friends who have disappointments.
Girls report they are jealous of friends’ successes much more than boys do.
Girls need to be taught how to cheer on others
Be modest about their own success.
Collectivist cultures see individual success as something to admire and emulate or as honoring the group.
“You made us all look good.”

10. Coping
Help them to shift their focus to what they can do about themselves (SMART goals)
Target one change to make
Honest self- appraisal
Set clear limits on aggressive behavior
Help them to build their own confidence

11. Specific Measurable Attainable Realistic Timely