1. Rhode Island State Referee Committee Abuse Campaign
May 1, 2017

2. Here is the text from an email sent to the SRC
“I attended a game yesterday for the U12 boys team. The linesman were calling correct plays and he wasn’t even paying attention to them and he himself was calling the wrong plays.  Children were pushing other children which clearly should have been fouls and were not called, because the referee stood in one spot the entire game and couldn’t see anything going on to make the calls.  He should be the referee on U6 nothing above that.  I pay for my child to play competitive soccer I expect correct calls/fouls, etc. being made and referee’s acting like a referee not just someone walking around barely blowing the whistle just to make a few bucks.  I was really disappointed in the league for actually allowing this!  I hope this will be taken into consideration and something will be done.  It’s not right having bad referee’s just like it’s not right having bad players, coaches, etc.  Something needs to be done to make this more enjoyable for the children instead of them feeling like no matter what they say or do they’ll be the wrong ones because the referee doesn’t make the call.  There were calls that the children even knew were wrong and yet the referee was having them do something else.  This needs to be taken care of.”

3. Here is the referee’s response
“I appreciate the feedback from who ever it was. I do want to say though the feedback I heard from my AR's was something different then what the person that gave the feedback said. After the of the game my AR was telling me that my calls were correct and didn't understand why the coach yelled at the crew. I do also want to point out, that the coach was yelling at the referee crew the entire time which did makes us feel much more pressured and much more insecure of our calls. When filing out my game report for Superliga I did mention the coach's behavior. Unfortunately I didn't dismiss him even after all the constant yells, I know I probably should have, but I will say that was a mistake I made. It did come to the point where I was a bit frightened to get that coach to sign the game report. When it comes to my personal opinion, I honestly feel the coach doesn't know how to lose. I would definitely agree with the one that gave the feedback that it wasn't my best game, and I totally understand. But getting pressured and yelled at makes any referees job much harder. But I will definitely take the full responsibility because I didn't dismiss the coach when I should have. I hope to hear back from you soon.” 

4. What should you do in this situation?
The following process is recommended for all officials to follow relative to conduct on the sideline.
Ask
If a situation arises where there is irresponsible behavior, you are to ASK the person to stop.
Tell
If there is another occurrence where there is irresponsible behavior, you are to inform that person that the behavior is not permissible and TELL them (insist) to stop. Tell them this is an official warning and will be noted in the Match report.
Dismiss
If the non-accepted actions continue, you must DISMISS that person immediately.

5. Phrases you can say to bench personnel in a polite, respectful, and concise fashion. Comments should be short, to the point, said in a way that will not provoke a negative response:
• “I can see you don’t agree with the call, but PLEASE – settle down”
• “I hear you” or “I understand you, coach”
• “Please stop being so visual. Talk to me but don’t wave your hands”
• “Coach, talk to me”
• “The ref got it, give him a chance”
• “Coach, I will listen to you but not the rest of the bench”
• “Where are you going”
• “I will pass along the message”
• “Don’t do it”
• “I will talk to the ref/AR”
• “The ref was there”
• “We will talk about it at half time”
• “This is a game of angles; we have a different angle than the referee”
• “Talk to me rather than shouting”
• “If I have to call the referee over, you will be dismissed”
• “I know how important this game is to you, it is just as important to us”
• “Coach, please talk to your assistant, he is getting close to making us take official action”
• “Coach, I understand you are upset but you need to calm down”

6. . What You Can’t Say
• Say what you would have done in that situation
Officials should avoid any open ended phrases that conjure up debate or that “add fuel to the fire”.
• Make physical contact with bench personnel
• Curse, use abusive or insulting language: “Coach, shut up and sit down”
• Issue threats unless you are ready to enter the “Dismiss” phase and you are ready to follow- through
• Criticize the members of the referee team: “I agree – he’s having a bad day”
• Use phrases that invite further debate or negative discussion
• Attack or criticize the coach or his team

7. . Reasons Why We Don’t Take Action
• Intimidated by coaches
Don’t fall into this trap, you are the referee, it is your responsibility to manage the game.
• Feel assignments will be impacted negatively
• Want to be “friends” with bench personnel
• Will see the coach again
• Afraid to address or lack of confidence to deal with any altercation
• The referee may have made a bad decision. However, the referee’s decision, right or wrong, should not impact other official’s decision to deal with the technical areas
• Don’t want confrontation
• Feel it is the referee’s game and other officials don’t want to negatively impact the referee’s game
• Don’t want to be “bad guys”

8. . Actions That “Cross the Line”
• Directed abusive, insulting or offensive language and/or gestures
The following is a list of actions that require the referee to “dismiss” the appropriate person from the sideline.
• Inflammatory and/or aggressive behavior (verbal and/or physical) with the opposition
• Coach/bench personnel leaving entering the field to dispute/dissent a call
• Interfering with the restart of play and field players
• Coach/bench personnel throwing/kicking anything while disputing a call
• Making unwanted and/or aggressive contact with opposing players
• Coach/bench personnel kicking/hitting advertising boards or bench in dispute of a call
• Interfering with the AR or fourth official in the performance of their duties

9. . As a General Rule
TELL twice, then DISMISS.
Think persistent infringement.
Try to prevent getting to the TELL stage.
Remember, it is not ASK, TELL . . .TELL TELL TELL, then DISMISS.

10. Finally follow up