1. Building Healthy Relationships
Chapter 6

2. Skills for Healthy Relationships
Chapter 6 Section1

3. Section Objectives Describe 4 techniques for communicating effectively
Describe how compromise can be an effective way to resolve conflicts
Identify successful strategies for working in a group

4. Barriers to communication video

5. Effective Communication
Communication is the process of sharing information, thoughts or feelings
Learning to communicate effectively is an ACQUIRED skill, it takes practice
With practice, you can master the skills of effective communication- using “I” messages, active listening, assertiveness and body language

6. “I” messages
A statement of feelings and expectations that do not blame or judge the other person
Helps a person to take responsibility for their feelings

7. “I” Messages
I feel…
When…
Because…

8. Let’s Try a few
"I can't believe you. Where is the jacket I let you borrow?"

9. Let’s Try a few
"Get out of my way; can't you see that I am trying to get some work done?"

10. Let’s Try a few
"You are so dumb, you can't do anything right!"

11. Active Listening
Focusing your full attention on what the other person is saying, and at the same time, letting that person know you understand and care

12. Active Listening
Show interest by nodding your head and showing concern on your face
Encourage the speaker to begin by saying “Do you want to talk about it?” or “You seem upset about…”
While the speaker is talking, offer comments such as “I know what you mean” or “Then what happened?”
Avoid passing judgment on what the speaker says

13. Active Listening
Show you have been listening by summarizing the speaker’s ideas with phrases such as “It sounds like you were angry when…” or “I heard you say…”
Help the speaker explore things further with phrases such as “Tell me more about…” or “I guess you felt…”
Don’t you steer the conversation away from the speaker’s problem and onto your own

14. Assertiveness Passive vs Assertive vs Aggressive
.What’s the difference between the 3?

15. Assertive, Passive and Aggressive Communication
Assertive Behaviors
Passive Behaviors
Aggressive Behaviors
Using “I” Messages to explain your feelings
Hoping the other person will guess your feelings
Using “You” messages to blame the other person
Actively listening to the person
Always listening, rarely talking
Interrupting, being sarcastic
Trying to understand the other person’s feelings
Denying your own feelings; making excuses
Making fun of the other person’s feelings; using name-calling
Expressing appreciation, being respectful
Criticizing yourself, always apologizing
Criticizing the other person; never giving a compliment
Seeking a compromise that does not go against either of your values
Always giving in to the other person
Always wanting your own way
Speaking clearly and confidently; making eye contact, appearing interested
Mumbling, looking away, fidgeting nervously
Yelling or refusing to talk; pointing your finger; glaring; using physical force

16. Body Language
A way of communicating information, or feelings non verbally, through body movements, posture, gestures and facial expressions
communication is only 7 percent verbal and 93 percent non-verbal (tone of voice 38% and body language 55%)

17. Body Language Eye contact is meeting someone’s gaze
Failure to make eye contact can be interpreted by some people as: shyness, embarrassment, indifference or sneakiness

18. Body Language Varies greatly from culture to culture
Latin American and Arab cultures generally stand closer together when they talk than people from the US
Japanese and Native American cultures consider it disrespectful to look a person in the eye in some situations

19. Cooperation Working together for a common goal
Important in all relationships, especially those with family members and close friends

20. Compromise
The willingness of each person to give up something in order to reach agreement
Skill of give-and-take, both parties must be willing to sacrifice something to get something in return

21. Compromise
You and a friend are having a disagreement. You would like to go to a party tonight but your friend would rather go bowling. How would you handle this problem?

22. Friendships
Chapter 6 Section 2

23. Section Objectives Students will be able to:
Identify qualities that are important in close friends

24. Friendship
A give-and-take relationship based on mutual trust, acceptance, and common interests or values People look to friends for honest reactions, for encouragement during bad times, and for understanding when they make mistakes Friends offer a sense of belonging, they understand and care about you

25. Importance of Friendships
Friendship gives you opportunities to develop your communication skills They also allow you to try out various roles such as: leader, helper, advice-seeker, or supporter

26. Types of Friendships Casual Friendships Close Friendships
Friendships with the Opposite Gender

27. Casual Friendships Friendships of “convenience”
Typically short-term, offer the chance to have fun, try new things, and to learn to get along with a variety of people
May remain casual or they may develop into deeper, long-lasting friendships over time

28. Close Friendships
Researchers found that people generally form close relationships with individuals who share similar goals, values or interests
Other studies suggest that people get along better with individuals whose personalities complement their own

29. Close Friendships 4 Qualities that are important in a close friend:
Loyalty
Honesty
Empathy (the ability to understand how another person feels)
Reliability

30. Close Friendships Provide emotional security A sense of belonging
The opportunity for people to see themselves as others see them
For teens, close friendships offer a way to grow outside of their family

31. Friendships with Opposite Gender
Gender roles- behaviors and attitudes that are socially accepted as either masculine or feminine In the US today, gender roles are much less rigid than in the past In choosing friends today, people look for people with similar interests and goals no matter the gender Some may develop into romantic relationships while others simply remain friendships

32. Problems in Friendships
Envy & Jealousy Envy is being upset because you are lacking something (material) Jealousy is being upset because you feel left out (person) When these feelings arise, use “I” messages to get your feelings into the open. Be sure to LISTEN to each other and try to COMPROMISE to work things out

33. Problems in Friendships
Transferring Anger
When someone transfers their pain/anxiety/anger onto their close friends
If this happens, try to find out what the real problem is, use “I” messages to state your feelings and LISTEN

34. Problems in Friendships
CLIQUES and GANGS A clique is a narrow, exclusive group of people with similar backgrounds or interests Members of a clique may experience peer pressure (the need to conform to the expectations of friends or a group). Peer pressure can be positive or negative

35. Problems in Friendships
CLIQUES and GANGS A gang is made up of people with similar backgrounds, interests, and values who are unaccepting of anyone who is different The dislike of others can stem from prejudices (negative feelings about certain groups of people that are based on stereotypes) A stereotypes is an exaggerated or overgeneralized beliefs about an entire group

36. Dating Relationships
Chapter 6 Section 3

37. Students will be able to:
Section Objectives
Students will be able to:
Explain why emotional intimacy is important in close relationships

38. Dating Relationships
The values you learn from your family, religious teachings, personal experiences, and friends influence your thinking about questions involving physical intimacy

39. Physical Attraction & Dating
Infatuation is the feelings of intense, sometimes overwhelming, attraction to another person
Infatuation = Crush = Normal, healthy feelings
Infatuation = Stalking

40. Physical Attraction & Dating
Dating is typically the way that teenagers get to know people to whom they are attracted
It is natural and healthy to feel physical attraction and to want to get to know someone better
Can help you develop communication and decision- making skills and to learn how the other person views the roles that they learned as a child

41. Physical Attraction & Dating
You may even discover what qualities you want in a future marriage partner (or don’t want!)

42. Steady Dating Steady dating with one person can be a form of security
Eventually, it can be a time of courtship that may lead to engagement and marriage
Having a “steady date” gives you the chance to get to know the person very well BUT it also limits your chances of meeting other people

43. Physical Intimacy
Natural for teenagers to feel sexually attracted to someone, it is also natural to be a little confused and unsure of how to handle those feelings Teenagers should think ahead and set limits ahead of time By setting limits before a situation arises, it is easier to stick to the standards that you set

44. Physical Intimacy Effect on Self-Esteem
Decisions about physical intimacy should be based on the values you hold
When a decision to become sexually involved goes against a person’s values, the person may feel guilty and ashamed
Lowered self-esteem often results when someone makes a snap decision about sexual intimacy or when sex is used to prove something to oneself or others

45. Physical Intimacy Effect on your relationship
Sexual intimacy can affect each partner’s expectations of the relationship
Often couples are unprepared for the additional complications that sexual intimacy adds to their relationship (which tend to be permanent)

46. Physical Intimacy Risk of Pregnancy and STIs
1 in 6 teenage girls who engage in intercourse will become pregnant
The only 100% way to prevent pregnancy and STIs is to abstain from sex

47. Emotional Intimacy
The openness, sharing, affection, and trust that can develop in a close relationship
For emotional intimacy to develop, partners must communicate honestly and be accepting and supportive of each other

48. Thinking About Marriage
Chapter 6 Section 4

49. Students will be able to:
Section Objectives
Students will be able to:
List some characteristics of successful marriages

50. Why do people get married?
The desire for another person’s love and companionship
Financial security
Social growth
To start a family
Because it’s expected

51. Successful Marriages
Love is a basic element in a successful marriage but it isn’t the only one
Compatibility is the ability to exist in harmony with another person
Similar:
Interests
Education backgrounds
Religious beliefs
Ethnic heritage
Cultural values

52. Successful Marriages
Studies have shown that compatibility and shared interests and backgrounds increase the likelihood of a successful marriage
People who are very different from each other can have a successful marriage but they may have to work harder at it

53. Characteristics of a Successful Marriage
Compatibility
Love
Friendship
Similar interests, backgrounds, goals
Strong commitment to each other and to the marriage
Ability to communicate
Shared responsibilities
Physical attraction
Mutual concern and respect
Ability to compromise

54. Commitment The determination to develop a fulfilling relationship
You need to work at being a couple and setting aside time and energy for each other

55. Setting goals Partners should have shared goals for their life
Examples include:
Buying a house
Having children
Furthering your education
Pursuing a career

56. Stresses in Marriage
Partners must be willing to make adjustments to meet each other’s needs and wants
Marital roles are the responsibilities that each partner assumes in a marriage. These should be discussed prior to marriage to make sure that both parties know what the other wants.
Need to determine how to manage the family income? Joint savings account? Separate accounts?
Unexpected problems- lose of job, injury, illness, etc.

57. Stresses in Marriage

58. Teens and Marriage
Teens who get married face most stress than those who marry later
Adjusting to a new relationship, earning a living, completing and education can be VERY overwhelming
People change a lot during their teens and early twenties, what you might have once wanted, you may not want anymore