1. Forgiveness

2. Positive Affect Future: optimism, hope, faith, trust
Present: joy, ecstasy, calm, zest, pleasure
Past: satisfaction, contentment, fulfillment, pride, serenity

3. Past Revenge or avoidance requires a lot of energy
Can affect current relationships
Risk
Trust
Resentment

4. Forgiveness Easy Something that can or should be forced (choice)
should not be treated as a duty or obligation
Should not be something trivialized
Something that can or should be forced (choice)
Excuse the offense of offender or tolerate either
Not require reconciliation
Not dependent on the offender changing
Not a guarantee that offender or others will not hurt again
Not burying or denying or invalidating our pain
Not forgetting

5. Forgiveness
Protect us from further offense by trying to out harm the defender
Surrender the right to get even
For our protection
Makes the offender responsible not us
A process that takes time
A choice

6. How to forgive Admit the offense
Face the emotions connected to the offense
Accept the responsibility for holding onto the offense and the pain
Decide I want to let go/ heal
Practice forgiveness
Learn to forgive yourself

7. Past
1=strongly disagree, 2=disagree, 3=neutral, 4=agree, 5=strongly agree
1. I’ll make him/her pay
2. I am trying to keep as much distance between us as possible
3. I wish that something bad would happen to him/her
4. I am living as if he/she doesn’t exist, or isn’t around
5. I don’t trust him/her
6. I want him/her to get what he/she deserves
7. I am finding it difficult to act warmly toward him/her
8. I am avoiding him/her
9. I’m going to get even
10. I cut off the relationship with him/her
11. I want to see him/her hurt and miserable
12. I withdraw from him/her

8. Past Total your scores for items 2,4,5,7,8,10, and 12
Mean 12.6
17.6 and above in most avoidant third
22.8 and above in the most avoidant 10th
Total your scores for 1,3,6,9, and 11
Around 7.7 average
11 and above most vengeful third
13.2 and above most vengeful tenth