1. When Personality Attacks!
So, what happens when personality “goes wrong?” If what is going on effects your ability to cope, work or enjoy life, then something may be wrong.
What would it be like to have a somehow abnormal personality?
If you did have a truly abnormal personality could you change that one?
How do you know if you need therapy?
What can therapy do to help you?

2. When Personality Attacks!
If you really have an abnormal personality:
It is highly likely that you come into conflict with people on a daily basis.
It is likely that you have few close relationships.
It may be that you cannot sustain a long term intimate relationship.
There really is nothing that you can do to significantly change who you are. In such a case, you can “manage” your disorder, but you cannot stop yourself from performing all of the abnormal behaviours all of the time.

3. Abnormal Personalities
Avoidant
Narcissistic (story of Narcissus)
Sadist or Masochist
Borderline
Antisocial
Dependent
Depressive
Passive – Aggressive
Histrionic
…And many more. Lets talk about just a few…..

4. Narcissistic
When a person is a young child, the whole world focuses (it seems) on them alone. “Do you have a brother?” Oh Yes!, said the 4 year old. When asked if his brother had a brother what did he say?
Adults who have this personality type never grow out of that stage. Their first and last priority is themselves. They will do whatever they like and whatever will make them look good. They will seek out the spotlight because they feel that they are so special that others cannot completely appreciate how great they really are.
If someone is from a particular environment they may look this way, but they can change. Someone with this personality type can not change.

5. Depressive
Everyone gets down, even possibly suicidal, due to some extreme life event. However, these individuals are always depressed. In fact, in order to be diagnosed with depression, this state must be “significantly different” from previous states.
If, in this case, it is a constant state of being, then it is a personality disorder. Loss of enjoyment, depressed mood, sadness, lack of appetite, etc.
In this case, it may be that a person must be hospitalized (short term or long term institutionalization) depending on how well the person can manage daily life on their own.

6. Borderline Personality
This is a person who feels empty and lonely inside and they long for a strong, intense love that is long lasting.
What happens in practice though is that the person idealizes the other (too high expectations). When that person doesn’t live up to the idealization, they feel as though they have been abandoned, that they are never going to find “true love.”
It looks like this: They date and fall madly in love. When something happens that upsets them, they berate and humiliate their partner. The partner threatens to leave the relationship, but the Borderline person longs to keep the relationship going fearing loneliness and rejection.
I love you! You suck! No wait!! I love you!

7. Antisocial
This is the person mostly likely to show up on the nightly news. Although they can feel emotions and have strong desires, they have a very hard time seeing others as having rights (or any importance at all really).
John Wayne Gacy, when asked about the boys he was suspected of killing said he was just, “Taking out the trash.”
The Green River Killer didn’t show any emotion until he realized that he was going to jail for life.
Ted Bundy had fallen in love but had been rejected. He got a thrill out of killing women who looked just like her so he could kill her over and over again.

8. Histrionic
Though this is largely thought to affect women, it has shown up in me also.
This is a very stereotypical behaviour where every good thing becomes the, “best day in the universe.” Suddenly the day becomes brighter and more expressive, the person just gushes with positive emotion. When some small thing goes bad, it’s like the person is dying and terminally ill. The person is believes that not another good day will ever come, and no one else has ever experienced a bad day “badder” than they are experiencing now.

9. So, what can we do?
In this case psychotherapy may be an excellent choice. Often times a person with a personality disorder goes through life not understanding why these things are happening and cannot break the cycle.
With therapy, they get a “second” opinion on what is really happening as well as some behavioural exercises to do. This is a positive for those with an open mind.
However, just like drug addiction is difficult to treat, personality disorders are resistant to change. Often the person themselves refuses to believe that they may be the source of the problem.

10. The famous case of “Sybil” who had multiple personality disorder
The famous case of “Sybil” who had multiple personality disorder. It turned out that the real person never had D.I.D. at all, but her therapist made a lot of money off the story.
Kenneth Bianchi (the Hillside strangler) claimed to have multiple personality (explaining the reason for all the murders. He came up with this explanation, only after his defense attorney suggest that D.I.D. may have been the cause for the killings in the first place.
David Berkowitz (Son of Sam) stated after he was charged with multiple murder that he heard voices (schizophrenia). He only came up with that idea after consulting with his defense attorney.

11. Ronny DeFeo murdered his whole family and led to the story “Amityville Horror.” DeFeo said he heard voices that told him to kill his family. Later it was revealed that he was a habitual drug user and had been under the influence of drugs at the time of the killings.
Charles Manson is probably the best example of an antisocial personality. He seduced women, then forced them into prostitution (to make money). He them would given them LSD and ask “Would you die for me?” Eventually he told followers to break into a house in that had drugs in it. Unfortunately, that family had moved. His followers killed people in two separate homes. He had each follower stab the homeowners so that no one could say they were innocent. Throughout his time in jail Manson never once claimed remorse or said that he was sorry for what had happened. He was upset that he was caught though.

12. Last thing
You would think that with such poor social behaviour that people with personality disorders would be easy to spot. No?
People with strong disorders know how “normal” people are supposed to act and will hide their disorder from others. It’s only when they feel safe with someone, that they show who they really are.
This hiding behaviour is true of drug addicts, borderline personality and antisocial personality. No one will ever introduce themselves as an abusive drunk, though that may be exactly what they are.
If you have friends that tell you something bad about the person you are in a relationship with, maybe you should have an open mind and not be too reactive.