1. Getting Out the Door Alive!
Making mornings easier

2. Let’s get started
Would you like a copy of this presentation? Please put your name and address on Gail’s paper and we’ll send you one in the next few days.

4. We are real life parents
With real husbands
Raising sons and daughters
We are real chauffeurs – our kids play hockey, dance, play piano, guitar, skate, play tennis, have friends, do homework, argue, complain, whine, sulk...
REAL LIFE – we lose it, feel frustrated, feel shameful, we’ve been there.

5. This is for you if...
You feel like you have to do everything: get the kids up, dressed, get breakfast on the table, feed them, wash hands/face, get coats and boots on get them into the car
You know that you will intervene on 3 separate fights tomorrow morning, go back to the house for the lunch kit and the fieldtrip permission form that will be signed at the red light.

6. This is for you if...
You keep living the same disasters every day, just hoping they will change
You can’t understand why your kids don’t “get it” because you tell them the same stuff all the time
You are feeling so burned out by the time the kids are at school that you don’t know how to get through the rest of your day.

7. Here’s what’s possible
We’re going to take that disaster morning that keeps repeating itself and change it into a morning plan that works
We’re going to have you doing less and your kids doing more
We’re going to have them feeling great about taking more responsibility so that everybody wins

8. We’re going to cover How to decrease your guilt
How to manage morning, mealtime and bedtime hassles
How to increase respectful communication in your family
How to set clear expectations
How to validate feelings
How to get your kids involved in solutions

9. Family Stressors Feeling Guilty Poor Childcare
Not understanding why children misbehave
Pampering
Lack of Effective Parenting Skills
Lack of Social and Life Skill training
Lack of Organization
Neglecting Children
Workaholism

10. Family Related Stressors
Feeling Guilty
Pampering
Lack of Effective Parenting Skills

11. GUILT!

12. (Guilt-Anger-Remorse Cycle)
Because…
With guilt comes
PAMPERING PARENTING
(Guilt-Anger-Remorse Cycle)

13. Step One
Become Aware

14. HASSLES
Morning Hassles
Bedtime Hassles
Homework Hassles
Chore Hassles

15. Invitations we can do without
Giving orders invites rebellion
Blame invites defensiveness and deaf ears
Rewards invite manipulation
Punishment invites the revenge cycle

17. Step Two
Parenting with a Plan

18. Parenting with a Plan Awareness Structure and Consistency Emotions
Problem-Solving and Autonomy
Language of Encouragement
Values/Vision – what are our goals for our children?

19. R.S.V.P.
R. Respectful and Positive Communication

20. We need to stop… Guilting Insults Threats Orders Sermons Poor Me
Billy’s Better
Uncompliment
Forecasting

21. M.O.D.E.L. M. Message O. One Word D. Describe the Problem
E. Express Feelings
L. Lead Problem-Solving

22. R.S.V.P.
S. Set Expectations

23. Family Habits
Permissive Habit
Punitive Habit
Model Habit

24. Child learns to put up with nagging and chatter to have own way.
Permissive Habit
Parent’s Behaviour
Child’s Behaviour
Reprimand, shout at child Wishes, shoulds Beg, remind, nag Frustrated, upset Yells, more frustration Ignores Behaviour
Ignore Ignore or stops then starts Behaviour continues
Child learns to put up with nagging and chatter to have own way.

25. Child learns to ignore parent until parent hurts or scares child.
Punitive Habit
Parent’s Behaviour
Child’s Behaviour
Reprimand, yell at child Threaten Become angry/embarassed Grab child, blame, scold Punish child
Ignore, start to take notice Stop behaviour temporarily, then starts again Child is scared Behaviour stops for a short time.
Child learns to ignore parent until parent hurts or scares child.

26. Your New Habit Parent’s Behaviour Child’s Behaviour
Go to child and get child’s attention Acknowledge feelings if nec. I saw, I heard (talk about behaviour calmly) Give child a choice Follow through on consequence
Child is with parent and not distracted Child works through feelings and moves to calm Child states choices and chooses Behaviour stops or consequence is applied
Child learns that behaviours have positive /negative consequences

27. Positive Parenting If you say it, mean it.
If you mean it, follow through.

28. R.S.V.P.
V. Validate Feelings

29. Express Your Feelings
When…
I feel…
because…

30. R.S.V.P.
P. Plan with your children - Take time to teach

31. Family Power Hour
Give your children opportunities to learn the skills they will need to be successful people in life.
“Tell me – I forget
Teach me – I remember
Involve me – I understand”
With understanding comes cooperation
Impossible to teach during conflict

32. Morning Routine
Get Dressed
Eat Breakfast
Brush Teeth
Put on Shoes

33. We are going to get out of the house alive!
R. Respectful and Positive Communication

34. Respectful Communication
“ I need your help…”
“ I expect you to…”
“ I expect you to cooperate”
“ I have faith in you to handle this problem in a way that is helpful to you and me.”
“ When, then… not If, then…”
“ I know you can”
“ What is next on the routine chart?”
“ Thanks for your patience.”
“ Thanks for your cooperation”

35. We are going to get out of the house alive!
R. Respectful and Positive Communication
S. Set Expectations
V. Validate Feelings
P. Plan (with your children)

36. Parenting Power
We help you to find your right way to parent!