1. Messages from Children and Parents Brooke and Fenestra SCRs Child Sexual Exploitation

2. Messages from children to professionals

3. To professionals
Learning about CSE is mainly from documentaries, internet, blogs – there is scope to develop CSE educational resources on YouTube and via PC games, particularly for boys
Need sex education to be provided in small, single sex groups, to avoid embarrassment and facilitate discussion
Schools focus on biological aspects of sex, as opposed to understanding relationships and exploitation - needs to be more on CSE, particularly grooming
Need education at a younger age
Need more leaflets and posters from health providers in schools
Helpful hearing about people's experiences - people coming in with information to school

4. To professionals
Know it is embarrassing to talk about sexual things to adults, especially if those sexual experiences have hurt you
Ask us better questions, be more inquisitive and examine us
Don’t get so hung up on confidentiality - sometimes you do need to share
If we do talk about sex it is important you do not look embarrassed or go red
Need continuity of professionals - takes time to develop a trusting relationship
Need professionals to listen and understand
CSE is serious and can lead to depression and suicide attempts
Lack of privacy in CAMHS waiting room - embarrassing being seen there; lack of flexibility of appointment times - being cut off 'by the clock' as opposed to stopping when it is right
CAMHS surroundings not appropriate for teenagers but for younger children

5. To professionals
Recognise it is hard for us to see ourselves as victims and to have insight into what help we need
Recognise that we are confused about the legal position regarding sex and want more clarity about what is and what isn’t ok legally (in general the young people considered >2 year age difference unacceptable, although to some an older boyfriend was considered 'impressive and helps make one popular’)
Parents needed to be provided with education, especially on grooming
Private schools need to provide more information and have a better understanding of how to provide support those who have experienced abuse
Encourage young people to go to youth groups and promote this to parents - need safe places to meet together
Always explain why you have to do things e.g. if police searching bedroom

6. To professionals
It is hard to say what is happening and difficult to trust teachers - we worry they will ring our family and this will get back to perpetrators and we may get hurt
Passing on information makes us anxious, so a lot does not get said as it puts us in risky situations if it gets passed around the community
The fear of the perpetrator is an obstacle in asking for help
We want teachers to notice behaviour changes, to try to talk to us and notice our unhappiness
We do not want teachers to blame us or ignore us
Enquire when children are absent from lessons, including music tuition
Not possible to express concerns about a friend being abused as that would be 'grassing' and that is unforgiveable
Pupils felt it helpful where schools have a facility to report concerns anonymously via school intranet

7. To professionals
If you want us to share, do stuff with us, don’t talk to us in your offices
'Just sit and listen', 'you don't have to say anything, but be there for us'
If we go missing, families need advice quickly on what to do
Social workers are ‘suffocated by rules and professionalism’
We want social workers to listen better, build relationships and find ways to connect with us
Our Mums’ need a separate social worker, not the same one
Have services available day and night - services need to be 24 hours - to be able to access support / help at time when needed
‘Some people became very important leading up to court and when the trial is over - we miss them’
The public need to be aware of what can happen and report it

8. Messages from children to other children

9. To other children
Don’t hang around with people that you are not willing to take home
Stay away from Facebook
Don’t try to fit in with your friends by using drugs and smoking
Go home and call the police - tell someone
Speak to teachers
Try not to dwell on things that have happened
Think before you do anything - it may have a long lasting effect: once something is on the internet, a future employer may look online
Don't talk to strangers: do not accept friend requests on social media unless you know the person
Don't have a boyfriend more than 2 years older than you

10. To other children
Keep yourself safe, protect yourself and get treatment for STDs
Social workers can be very supportive – and be with you at the police station
Cannot always trust professionals, especially on social media, as they could also be grooming you!
You need to understand grooming to recognise what is happening
Get rid of stereotypical ideas - CSE can happen to anyone - the abuser could be anyone
If you feel someone is not safe (the ‘Jimmy Saville feeling’) tell someone - you are almost certainly right

11. To parents
Talk and listen to your children about CSE, e.g. risks of older people
You need to understand grooming behaviour and why your child may continue to think well of those who abused her
A two way relationship helps, enabling trust and being comfortable speaking about concerns
It is ok to break down and show emotion to your child
Take away phones and tablets at night, but do not to snoop on messages unless something obviously wrong
Get rid of stereotypical ideas - CSE can happen to anyone, and the abuser could be anyone
Don't jump to conclusions without knowing the full story and don't blame the child

12. Messages from parents

13. To professionals
Young people generally perceive CSE as a laugh, or a game and need more education at schools
Parents need more information on the risks for young people
Emotional support for parents is needed if child has been abused
Need to better protect the victim during the wait for the legal proceedings, so that s/he is not at risk of bumping into the perpetrator in the street
Kids are more technically savvy than parents and professionals
Police provision of ‘warning of intent’ to speak to perpetrators gives them time to delete messages and hide evidence

14. To professionals
Police should not treat each episode in isolation, need to be aware of history
CAMHS should not give up on children who won't speak openly – may be the ones needing help most
Lack of female psychiatrists for sexually abused girls is problematic, along with lack of continuity of staff
Whilst there may be a role for children's social care and CAMHS, the stigma attached to this is off putting to parents
Help parents understand the impact of abuse on their children, in particular the relevance of the 'Stockholm syndrome' where victims can have some sympathy with their abusers to aid their understanding
Is there a need for parents groups?
The only way to change things is by speaking openly about this

15. To other parents
Keep your wits about you, try not to pry too much but carry out random checks on your child's phone and social media communications
Help children to have the right privacy settings on their phone
Help your child be aware of what is happening e.g. hearing of Saville's crimes helped understanding
If you see your child struggling and cannot work out why, consider looking at their devices
The impact of internet sexual exploitation can be as bad as if it physically happened
Your child may require lengthy therapy afterwards
The only way to change things is by speaking openly about this