1. Prepared by Darrell G. Mullins Salisbury University
Human Communication in Society by Jess K. alberts, Thomas K. nakayama, and judith n. martin
Prepared by Darrell G. Mullins Salisbury University
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2. Chapter 8: Communicating in close relationships
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3. Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.
Overview of Themes
Close Relationships and the Individual
Models of Relationship Development
Communicating in Friendships and Romantic Relationships
The Individual, Relationship Communication, and Society
Ethics and Close Relationships
Improving Your Conflict Skills
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4. Close Relationships and the Individual
iStockphoto/DanielBendjy
“Close relationships can be a source of happiness, comfort, and even distress.”
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5. The Importance of Close Relationships
Improve Psychological Well Being
Improve Physical Health
Royalty FreeThomas Northcut/Lifesize/Getty Images
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6. What Are Close Relationships?
Frequency, Intensity, and Diversity of Contact
Relationships in Which People See Each Other as Unique and Irreplaceable
Communication Marked by High Disclosure and Openness
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7. Influences on Relationship Development
Proximity
Physical Closeness
Electronic Closeness
Attractiveness
Physical Attractiveness
The Matching Hypothesis
Personality
Similarity
Values and Interests
Uncertainty Reduction Theory
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8. Models of Relationship Development
“Because relationship development is an important aspect of life and because sometimes the process goes awry…scholars have devoted considerable effort toward creating models to explain it.”
Index Open/PhotosToGo
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9. Stage Models of Relationship Development: Social Penetration Theory
Central Concept: Level of Self-Disclosure
Breadth vs. Depth
Stages
Orientation
Exploratory Affective Exchange
Affective Exchange
Stable Exchange
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10. Stage Models-The Knapp/Vangelisti Model
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11. Relational Trajectory Models: The Turning Point Model
A bi-directional model
Multiple paths throughout relationship development
Significant events, “turning points,” in the relationship propel the relationship in one direction or the other
See types of turning points on p. 200
Turning points apply to friendships, too
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12. Relational Trajectory Models: Relational Dialectics
Dialectic Defined: Competing Tensions
Types of Dialectical Tensions
autonomy/connection
expressiveness/privacy
change/predictability
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13. Communicating in Friendships and Romantic Relationships
“…friendships can differ markedly from romances in how much we reveal, especially in the early stages.”
Index Open/PhotosToGo
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14. Initiating Relationships
Romantic Relationships
Flirting
Gender Differences
Communication and Dating
Friendships
Conversational Initiation Skills Vital
Open With a Non-threatening Comment
Ask Broad, Open-Ended Questions
Listen Attentively
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15. Maintaining Relationships
Romantic Relationships
Positivity
Openness
Assurances
Social Networks
Sharing Tasks
Joint Activities
Mediated Communication
Avoidance/Antisocial
Humor
Friendships
Conversation
Similar Communication Skills
Assurances
Positivity
Open Discussion
Listening
Sharing Time
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16. Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.
Couples’ Maintenance Behaviors
Adapted from: Stafford, L. (2003). Maintaining romantic relationships: Summary and analysis of one research program. In D. Canary & M. Dainton
(Eds.), Maintaining relationships through communication (pp. 51–78). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.
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17. Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.
Ending Relationships
Difficulties in Understanding Relationship Termination
Unwillingness to Discuss
Identifying When Termination Begins
Termination Trajectories
Sudden Death
Passing Away
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18. Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.
Why Relationships End
Romantic Relationships
Lack of Autonomy
Lack of Similarity
Lack of Supportiveness
Infidelity
Inequity
Absence of Romance
“Fatal Attractions”
Friendships
Minimal Pressure to Maintain
Lack of Awareness
Lack of Proximity
Decreased Affection
Lack of Communication Skills
Rule-Breaking
Deception
Boredom
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19. Relationship Termination Strategies
Romantic Relationships
Negative Identity Management
De-escalation
Justification
Behavioral De-escalation
Friendships
Withdrawal/Avoidance
Third-Party Message
Positive Tone
Openness
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20. Confronting Relationship Challenges
Aversive Communication Behaviors
Frequency
Examples: Nagging, Criticizing, Teasing
Deception
The Impact of the Truth Bias
Particularly Devastating in Friendships
Jealousy
Combination of Emotions
Result of Perceived Threat to Relationship
Gender Differences
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21. Confronting Relational Challenges, Continued
Relational Aggression
Frequency
Communication Patterns in Abusive Romantic Relationships
Communication Patterns in Abusive Friendship Relationships
Sexual Coercion
Date Rape vs. Sexual Coercion
Contributors to Sexual Coercion
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22. Improving Your Conflict Skills
“In the midst of a heated conflict, or if confronted by an enraged person, often the best approach you can take is to try to defuse the interaction.”
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23. Conflict De-Escalation Strategies
De-escalate Your Own Anger
Listening To Understand
Empathizing
Taking Time Out
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24. The Individual, Relationship Communication, and Society
“Many people think that relationships are an individual matter… However, society wields strong influences on our choices and behavior.”
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25. Society, Power, Courtship, and Marriage
Society sets norms for mate selection and behavior—high homogeneity.
Society sets norms for communication behavior.
Social norms inhibit some groups from expressing their relationships.
Businesses set policies that affect employees’ relationships.
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26. Society, Power, and Friendship
Individuals face pressure from social groups regarding friendship choices.
Norms/beliefs about cross-sex friendships affect their enactment.
Society has norms about the relative role of friends in our lives.
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27. Ethics and Close Relationships
“If you communicate unethically with your friends, family, and romantic partner, the consequences may be severe.”
Ethics and Close Relationships
Tara Moore / Stone / Getty Images
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28. Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.
Some Guidelines
Authentic Communication
Confront Important Issues
Take Responsibility
Allow Others to Speak From Their Own Positions and Experiences
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