2. Walking a Mile in Your Children's Shoes by Joe Miller Facilitator for Nurturing Parenting Fairfax County Department of Family Services

3. Walking a Mile in Your Children's Shoes What Does That Mean? It Means that to get close to your children you have to understand what they are thinking. We call that Empathy.

4. Empathy in Nurturing Parenting Has Three Components Empathy has to do with the way parents discipline their children. The way children are treated shapes the way children will respond to others in distress. The second part of empathy has to do with the way parents respond to the emotions of a child. Empathic responses honor the feelings and let the child know their feelings are accepted.

5. Empathy in Nurturing Parenting Has Three Components(Cont.) A third part of empathy is the ability of the parent to be aware of childrens needs. A parent uses empathy to help children get their needs met by understanding their needs. Empathy helps parent understand what the child feels and by doing so the parent can help the child met their needs.

6. Needs Have Six Categories Physical Needs. The need for food, sleep, exercise, sex, air and water. Emotional Needs. The need for love, PRAISE, security, trust and other basic emotions. Social Needs. The need for friendship and companionship.

7. Needs Have Six Categories (Cont.) Intellectual Needs. The need for stimulation of new ideas or thoughts. Spiritual Needs. The need for belonging and membership. The need to believe in the power of goodness. Membership in a family is a spiritual experience. Creative Needs. The need to express ones inner self. Creative needs are expressed in areas like a persons appearance, dress, dance, poetry and cooking.

8. What Is It All About? All childrens behavior is purposeful; that is, to get some need meet. To get good behavior from a child, you should meet their needs since they are much happier when their needs are met. Praise is used to satisfy some of the needs of the child and is also an excellent way to build self esteem.

9. Being Raised By Praise Praise is the single most powerful tool parents can use to increase their childs self- worth. There are two types of praise. Praise for Being means noticing and appreciating a person. Praise for Doing means noticing and appreciating a persons efforts or performance.

10. Being Raised By Praise (Cont.) Never combine the goodness of a persons being with their efforts. Keep the two separate. Example: No - I love you for working hard. Yes- I love you for being you.

11. Being Raised By Praise (Cont.) Pay attention to the behavior you want, and praise your child when they behave that way. Accepting Praise from others is an important part in recognizing your own self-worth. Touch is a great way to show pleasure by using it with praise for doing or being.

12. When the Chips Are Down! Strategies for Improving Childrens Behavior. by Richard Lavoie

13. Show Movie: When the Chips Are Down. The video is intended for Special Educations Teachers and Learning Disabilities and Discipline, But is also applicable to most parents and their children in building self-worth and improving the relationship with your child. Let the movie begin!!!!

14. Thank you for Coming and Learning More About Nurturing Your Child The End