1. Foundations of Interpersonal Communication

2. Relationship Stages
Relationships are created and constructed by individuals
A single relationship actually contains multiple relationships
Relationships occur in stages developing toward intimacy and dissolution

3. Relationship Stages (cont.)
Six stage model
Stage One: Contact – first impressions
Perceptual (see)
Interactional (contact)
Stage Two: Involvement – sense of mutual connection develops
Experimenting and testing
Increase time together

4. Relationship Stages (cont.)
Stage Three: Intimacy – commit to establishing a relationship; become a unit, an identifiable pair
Talk about relationship
Share social networks
Interpersonal commitment (commit to each other privately)
Social bonding (commitment made public)
Stage Four: Relationship deterioration – weakening of bonds
Intrapersonal dissatisfaction (internal)
Interpersonal deterioration (withdraw)

5. Relationship Stages (cont.)
Stage Five: Repair
Intrapersonal repair (analyze what went wrong, etc.)
Interpersonal repair (talk about solutions, negotiating, counseling)
Stage Six: Dissolution – breaking bonds; see selves as individuals rather than two halves of a pair
Interpersonal separation
Social or public separation

6. Movement in the stages Exit arrows Vertical arrows
Self-reflexive arrows

7. Relationship Stages (cont.)
Turning points
Significant events
Positive or negative
Vary culturally
What constitutes a turning point will vary with relationship stage
Relationship license
Permission to break a rule
Reciprocal or non-reciprocal (one partner has license that other does not)
Usually implied

8. Relationship Theories
Attraction theory
Similarity
Similarity principle
Complementarity (opposites can attract)
Proximity
Reinforcement (giving & receiving rewards)
Physical attractiveness and personality
(more likely to think that we’ve met someone before if the person is attractive)
Socioeconomic and educational status
Reciprocity of liking

9. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Relationship rules theory
Friendship
Romantic
Family
What you can talk about
How you can talk about something
Who you can talk about it to
Workplace

10. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Relationship dialectics theory – tensions between opposite motives or desires
Open (see other people) and closed (exclusivity)
Autonomy (independence) and connection (intimacy)
Novelty (new experiences) and predictability (stability)

11. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Relationship dialectics theory (cont.)
Strategies to balance tensions
Accept imbalance
Exit relationship
Rebalance your life

12. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Social penetration theory – what you talk about changes with level of intimacy
Breadth – range of topics
Depth – inner personality or core of person
Depenetration – decrease sharing as a relationship declines

13. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Social exchange theory – maximize relational profits
Profit = rewards - cost
Reward – something it costs you to obtain (money, status, love, information, goods, services)
Costs – things you would normally avoid
Profit – when you subtract the costs from the rewards

14. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Social exchange theory (cont.)
Comparison level – your idea or expectations of what rewards you should get in a relationship
Comparison level for alternatives – level of rewards in current relationship compared to another relationship

15. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Equity theory
Builds on social exchange theory
Each party derives rewards proportional to the costs they each pay
Ex. One partner works and takes care of house, other partner just works. Same rewards, unequal costs = dissatisfaction.
Equitable relationship – your rewards equal your partner’s
Underbenefitted (feel angry)
Overbenefitted (feel guilty)

16. Relationship Communication
Communicating in developing relationships
Be nice
Communicate
Be open
Give assurances
Share joint activities
Be positive
Focus on self-improvement
Be empathic

17. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Communicating in deteriorating relationships
Communication patterns
Withdrawal
Decline in self-disclosure
Deception
Positive messages decrease and negative messages increase

18. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Communicating in deteriorating relationships (cont.)
Strategies of disengagement
Positive tone to preserve relationship
Justification to explain breakup
De-escalation to reduce intensity

19. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Communicating in deteriorating relationships (cont.)
Dealing with a breakup
Break loneliness-depression cycle
Take time out
Bolster self-esteem
Remove uncomfortable relationship symbols
Be mindful of your relationship patterns

20. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Communicating in relationship repair
Interpersonal repair
R – Recognize the problem
E – Engage in productive conflict resolution
P – Pose possible solutions
A – Affirm each other
I – Integrate solutions into normal behavior
R – Risk