1. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Featuring Suzanne Collins’ novel Catching Fire from her adolescent literature series, The Hunger Games

2. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Jones 1 Joe Jones Mr. Braam CCR English 10, Bell 1 Ind. Novel Response #1 Nov. 6, 2015 Response #1 for Independent Novel (or appropriate title) In the novel Catching Fire, author Suzanne Collins builds tension by using cliffhanger endings to her chapters. For example, at the end of Chapter 19, Katniss goes to check on Peeta after her partner was zapped by a force field. The chapter ends with “I press my ear against his chest, to the spot where I always rest my head, where I know I will hear the strong and steady beat of his heart. Instead, I find silence” (Collins 279). By saying that Katniss expects to hear the heartbeat that she always hears, then saying she hears nothing, Collins makes readers want to turn the page quickly to relieve the tension caused by wanting to know whether or not Peeta survives. Another example comes at the end of Chapter 20, when a seemingly innocent fog starts sliding into the area where Katniss and her allies are sleeping. The chapter ends with “The progression of the front line [of the fog] is too uniform to be natural. And if it is not natural A sickening sweet
This text – of which you have a copy in front of you – is an example of how to write a developed paragraph response to a prompt, while also using both MLA formatting and MLA in-text citations

3. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Joe Jones
Mr. Braam
CCR English 10, Bell 1
Ind. Novel Response #1
Nov. 6, 2015
Response #1 for Independent Novel (or appropriate title)
First, remember that all text in your response needs to be in MLA format. That includes things such as:
Double-spacing
Times New Roman font
12-point type
1-inch margins
AND DON’T FORGET THE HEADER AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE!!!

4. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
That mandatory header includes:
The writer’s name
The teacher’s name
Name of the class and bell #
Type of assignment
And date the work is handed in
Joe Jones
Mr. Braam
CCR English 10, Bell 1
Ind. Novel Response #1
Nov. 6, 2015

5. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Jones 1
The header (continued)
And don’t forget your last name and page number at the top right of the page
In Microsoft Word, use the “Insert Page Number” function and add the name

6. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
The title
Note that the title below
is centered
Note that the title is
the same font
and point size
as the rest of the text
Response #1 for Independent Novel (or appropriate title)
In the novel Catching Fire, author Suzanne Collins
builds tension by using cliffhanger endings to her chapters.
(In other words, the title is not underlined or italicized.
It also is not bolder, or larger than anything else that is on the page)

7. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Note that the text begins double-spaced from the title
The text
Response #1 for Independent Novel (or appropriate title)
In the novel Catching Fire, author Suzanne Collins builds tension by using cliffhanger endings to her chapters.
Note that the text is indented 5 spaces

8. “How does the author build tension in the book?”
Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Note that the prompt, in this case, asks about the author and the book.
Responding to the Prompt
Let’s say that you are responding to a prompt that asks:
“How does the author build tension in the book?”
Note that it also asks you to offer an opinion about how tension is built in the book

9. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Note that the first sentence is my topic, or the thesis/claim statement. This your opinion or commentary
The text
Response #1 for Independent Novel (or appropriate title)
In the novel Catching Fire, author Suzanne Collins builds tension by using cliffhanger endings to her chapters.
It also tells us the name of the book and the author
It rephrases the question “How does the author build tension?”
Then it tells us exactly the method she utilizes to build tension … “using cliffhanger endings”

10. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
The topic sentence/ claim is then followed by an example from the book
Note that a transitional word or phrase is used
For example, at the end of Chapter 19, Katniss goes to check on Peeta after her partner was zapped by a force field. The chapter ends with “I press my ear against his chest, to the spot where I always rest my head, where I know I will hear the strong and steady beat of his heart. Instead, I find silence” (Collins 279).
The example includes a quote that provides evidence for the claim about the topic … about how tension is built
The in-text citation then gives the author’s last name and the page number that the quote was on in the book

11. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Note carefully (and remember!!!) the following punctuation rules for MLA in-text citations
Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
... Instead, I find silence” (Collins 279).
Note that the quote ends with only a quote mark … and no period
The author’s last name and the page number have no punctuation
at all between them, and are surrounded by parentheses
TEACHER NOTE: This is one of the rare, rare moments when a period or comma does NOT go inside the quote mark
The final punctuation (the period, in this case) comes after the closing parenthesis

12. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Then the citation is followed by an explanation of the evidence from the book. Remember, this is also what is called “developed commentary”
(Collins 279). By saying that Katniss expects to hear the heartbeat that she always hears, then saying she hears nothing, Collins makes readers want to turn the page quickly to relieve the tension caused by wanting to know whether or not Peeta survives.
What you are doing here is saying why your evidence that you quote from the text supports your claim … or, in this case, explaining how Collins built tension with a specific cliffhanger chapter ending!
In this case, the tension is caused by readers wanting to discover whether or not Peeta survives … but then the chapter ends

13. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Then the evidence is followed by a second example from the book about building tension. Note the transition “Another example …”
… whether or not Peeta survives. Another example comes at the end of Chapter 20, when a seemingly innocent fog starts sliding into the area where Katniss and her allies are sleeping.
That alerts readers to the fact that you have a second piece of evidence on the way.

14. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Note that the new textual evidence from the book also has quote marks around it
… are sleeping. The chapter ends with “The progression of the front line [of the fog] is too uniform to be natural. And if it is not natural A sickening sweet odor begins to invade my nostrils and I reach for the others, shouting for them to wake up. In the few seconds it takes to rouse them, I begin to blister” (Collins 297).
Note that the new quoted evidence also is an example of how the author built tension … by saying that Katniss started to blister as the chapter ended

15. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Note that the quote is again followed by no period and then a final quote mark
… are sleeping. The chapter ends with “The progression of the front line [of the fog] is too uniform to be natural. And if it is not natural A sickening sweet odor begins to invade my nostrils and I reach for the others, shouting for them to wake up. In the few seconds it takes to rouse them, I begin to blister” (Collins 297).
Note that the quote is again followed by an in-text citation

16. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Note that the quote and the in-text citation are again followed by an explanation …
… begin to blister” (Collins 297). Once again, by leaving Katniss and her friends in danger and their fate unknown, Collins makes readers feel the increased tension, pulling them further into the book to find out the results.
… that details how the quoted evidence shows that Collins built tension with another cliffhanger chapter ending.
Again, this is called “developed commentary,” because it is explaining how your evidence backs up your opinion

17. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Then, at the end, there is a conclusion that ties the evidence back to the topic sentence/ claim
… out the results. These are just two examples of how Collins masterfully uses cliffhanger endings to build tension, both in her book Catching Fire and in the readers’ minds.
Note that your conclusion should rephrase (not merely repeat verbatim) the claim, drawing your response to a satisfactory – and complete – close
We included the author’s name, the name of the book, and rephrased the original claim … that “Collins masterfully used cliffhanger endings to build tension”

18. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Major Points to Remember:
Type your responses
Use MLA formatting (double-spacing, font, point sizes, etc.)
Have a topic sentence/claim expressing your opinion that ALSO incorporates the original prompt (and probably the name of the book and the author’s name, too)

19. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Major Points to Remember:
4. Follow the topic sentence/claim with an example from the book, plus a quote from the text provided as evidence that supports your original claim
5. Remember to use an in-text citation at the end of the quote, using the proper format and punctuation (author last name and page #)

20. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Major Points to Remember:
6. Next, explain how the quoted evidence backs up your original topic sentence/claim
7. Make sure you have the correct number of requested examples within your response
(ADDED NOTE: If no specific number of examples is requested in the prompt, my suggestion is to find two examples at minimum)

21. Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Major Points to Remember:
8. Make sure that for every quoted example from the text that you offer as support, that you also remember to use another in-text citation
9. End your response with a concluding sentence that refers back to the topic sentence/claim and to the cited evidence that you have provided from the text

22. can always ask me for help!
Building Better Responses/ MLA In-Text Citations The Example
Major Points to Remember:
Confused? Not sure if you will remember all of this, or not confident in the completeness of your notes?!?!? DO NOT PANIC
This PowerPoint is posted online permanently on my class website, where it can be viewed and/or downloaded 24/7.
Plus – AS ALWAYS – you
can always ask me for help!

23. Now, let’s practice!!!!
Read the following excerpt: THE TEXT (from page 25 of John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men)
(Curley’s) eyes passed over the new men and he stopped. He glanced coldly at George and then at Lennie. His arms gradually bent at the elbows and his hands closed into fists. He stiffened and went into a slight crouch. His glance was at once calculating and pugnacious. Lennie squirmed under the look and shifted his feet nervously. Curley stepped gingerly close to him. “You the new guys the old man was waitin’ for?”
PROMPT: What kind of attitude did Curley have toward George and Lennie when they all first met in the bunkhouse? What inferences from the text did you make to determine your opinion?