1. BUILDING MARRIAGE THROUGH DEEPENING INTIMACY PART TWO INTIMACY

2. REMINDERS Not Therapy The path of halacha is broad Ask your own rov your rov answers for you, not for others

3. SHIVIM PANIM LTORAH

4. PNIM Daat – Connect Bris Mila, priah, mitzitza Emulating Hashem ה–ו–ה –י Oneness, giving, pleasure, pleasure of connection The letter ו Yesod

5. GOALS Connect Connect deeply Create intimacy Give Give meaningfully Create the pleasure of connection Bring new life into the world Relationship, person (Emulate Hashem)

6. REMOVE IMPEDIMENTS FROM GOALS

7. ASKING

8. NO PART LEFT BEHIND Emotional Physical Spiritual Intellectual

9. EXPECTATIONS Human Sexual Response Cycle Excitement phase Plateau phase Orgasmic phase Resolution phase

10. CREATE DEVEK

11. KOACH HADIBBUR Language describes and shapes Sex Intercourse Intimacy Duty/obligation Performance (anxiety) Relationship

12. COMMON CHALLENGES Expectations Hormones Exhaustion Communication issues Shyness Embarrassment Desire or lack there of Aging

13. DESIRE Sexual desire The desire to have sex Poteach et yadecha umasbia lchol chai ratzon

14. PREPARATION Shabbat and Intimacy 1.Clear schedule: Set aside the time 2.Procure supplies: Whatever you dont have that you will need or want to make the experience how you want it to be 3.Prepare environment: clean, pretty, inviting 4.Create mood: flowers, candles, wine, words

15. PRIORITIZE Mitvat onah Its a mitzvah! Time Money Effort Thought Planning

16. INTIMACY Separate from sexuality Love languages (Gary Chapman) Acts of service Physical touch Words of appreciation Gifts Quality time http://www.5lovelanguages.com/resources/books/

17. HITCHADSHUT Our first mitzvah as a nation Shemot 12:2