1. ‘It’s our game, not yours’
Promoting Positive
Parental/Spectator Behaviour
This is part of a toolkit developed by CPSU in conjunction with sports organisations.
The toolkit is designed to support sports bodies in promoting positive parental behaviour.
This template presentation is designed to be amended, expanded, re-ordered or branded as required by the organisation.
It may be used as the basis of a workshop, or within a presentation or meeting (eg children and parents induction event; management meeting; coaches meeting; Welfare Officers update).
The presentation should be used by those with an understanding of safeguarding, a commitment to children’s rights, and a grasp of the particular issues raised by poor parental behaviour.
Facilitators should identify and prepare sport or organisation-specific cases and examples to be used.
Content and exercises are optional.
The My Magic Sport Kit film can be used to enhance and focus many of the points in the presentation. Facilitators will decide where the film should be used within the event.

2. Aims: to identify the benefits of parents’ involvement in sport
to identify the nature and extent of the problem of poor parental behaviour
to consider the impact of poor behaviour, especially on young people
to identify how to avoid, reduce or deal with incidents.
Overall aims may be amended as appropriate to the type of event, sports context and audience.
The term Parent is used to mean parents or carers of children or young people participating in sport..

3. “We just want to have fun, learn new skills and make new friends...”

4. Parents play a vital role in encouraging, enabling, and supporting children’s participation in their chosen sport at every level and in every sport

5. (Optional) Exercise: Identify ways parents can:
support, encourage and motivate children and young people who participate in sport
make positive contributions to sports clubs
This exercise may be undertaken in pairs, small groups or by the whole group.
When taking feedback include ‘real’ examples relevant to the sport, club or organisation.

6. 1 Positive Parents may:
share their enthusiasm for participation in sport
encourage their child/ren to take up, enjoy and achieve in their sport
provide transport, equipment, or finances
support in a positive and fair way
promote respect for the sport’s rules, officials, their child’s team-mates and opponents

7. 2 Positive Parents may: model and reinforce positive attitudes
help out with club activities
become coaches or volunteers
act as welfare officers or committee members
contribute to fundraising initiatives
support their child/the team at matches
provide refreshments or transport

8. However many sports are also struggling to address the challenges presented by a minority of parents whose behaviour has a negative impact on their own and other children, and other people involved in the club.

9. (Optional) Exercise Identify
Different examples of negative parental/spectator behaviour at all levels in sport
This exercise may be undertaken in pairs, small groups or by the whole group.
When taking feedback refer to ‘real’ (anonymised) examples relevant to the sport, club or organisation.
The generic scenarios and examples can also be used to bring feedback to life.

10. 1 Negative Parental/Spectator Behaviour
Abusive parents
verbal aggression towards own child, officials, other children/supporters/coaches
teasing/mocking of young people
threats and fights with other adults and/or young people
intimidation of officials – including young officials
some behaviours constitute criminal offences and/or child abuse

11. “My friend decided he didn't want to play any more, not after his dad was asked to leave the match. It must have been so embarrassing for him”.

12. 2 Negative Parental/Spectator Behaviour
Challenging parents
contradict coaches’ advice/instructions
constant criticism of own/other children
‘Win at all costs’ mentality
encourage rule-breaking
challenge club re selection, training, sanctions or ethos

13. “Winning at all costs – is that our dream or yours?”

14. 3 Negative Parental/Spectator Behaviour
Pushy Parents
unreasonable/unrealistic expectations of their child
only acknowledge winning, not child’s effort, progress or enjoyment
live through their child’s activities
Impose their aspirations on their child
do not accept club sanctions for poor behaviour
accept poor coaching practice for results
The motivation of some parents displaying these behaviours may not be negative.
They may be unaware of the impact or implications of their actions or how they are received and perceived.
Never the less these behaviours are damaging – particularly to their child and to other children.

15. “My mum was always supportive of me in my training but when it came to competitions she always compared me to everyone else, even when I'd done better than ever before. Unless I won it wasn't good enough.”

16. What do children tell us…..?
Video: The Magic Sports Kit

17. (Optional) Exercise
Identify the ways that poor parental/spectator behaviour impact on children and young people
If shown after the video this exercise emphasises messages from young people featured.
Working in pairs, small groups or the whole group encourage participants to imagine these experiences through the eyes of their child or children generally.
Link to experiences they may have had in sport as young people.

18. The impact of poor parental/spectator behaviour on children and young people
Fear
Demotivation
Anxiety
Confusion about tactics/team role
Loss of fun and enjoyment
Lack of confidence
Worry about how parent will behave
This is what children and young people consistently tell us.

19. The impact of poor parental/spectator behaviour on children and young people
Distraction from playing sport
Embarrassment
Undermined authority (young officials)
Sanctions imposed by club
Being asked to leave the team or club
Leaving the sport altogether
It isn’t possible to concentrate on, succeed in,or enjoy sport if a young person is experiencing these feelings.

20. Officials (including young officials) Other parents/supporters
(Optional) Exercise
Consider the potential impact of poor parental/spectator behaviour on the following:
The sport
Clubs
Coaches
Officials (including young officials)
Other parents/supporters

21. Wider impact of poor parental/spectator behaviour
Negative image of the sport
Poor reputation for club – puts off potential players
Additional stress for coaches/officials
Fear of, or actual, assaults
Officials (particularly young officials) may leave the sport
Parents and players may move to other clubs
Club faces investigations and sanctions

22. Sideline Bad Behaviour: Research
Children 1st (Scotland) survey in 2012
Studied impact on children and young people u12 to 16+
Involved 154 children and 340 parents
34 sports covered
Outcomes supported earlier studies

23. Key findings: Children & young people
Almost half (43%) had experienced this behaviour
Half (47%) had witnessed behaviour towards another child
Swearing/name-calling most common
All felt threatened
Physical abuse included pushing, kicking, hitting & spitting (included under 12s)
20% experience negatively affected their performance or made them want to quit
For half it continued after sports activity ended

24. Key findings: Parents & carers
Half said their child had mentioned spectator behaviour
43% parents had witnessed bad behaviour
Commonly swearing at children, name-calling and making fun of them
68% reported that someone challenged the behaviour
A quarter would not know what to do

25. Scenarios
Consider the example scenarios (appropriate to the sport, club or audience)
1. How/by whom should this situation be managed and responded to?
What policies and processes will apply?
2. What steps could have been taken (at club, county, region or sport governing body levels) to reduce the likelihood of this situation arising
Where possible use sport or context-specific examples that will resonate with the audience..

26. (Optional) Exercise
Identify practical steps that clubs and sports organisations can (or do) take to prevent, reduce and manage poor parental behaviour.

27. Practical steps to address the problem
Adopt a whole club/sport/organisation approach, supported by management
Arrangements need to be in place to clarify, publicise and promote expectations of side-line behaviour:
eg Code of Conduct
introductory packs and/or parent/participants meetings
registration forms
posters or leaflets
use of websites of club notice boards

28. Practical steps to address the problem
Widely publicised procedures to encourage reporting and responding to alleged poor behaviour in a fair and transparent way
Recording systems to capture, monitor and map developing concerns
Support to individuals (adults or young people) raising concerns

29. Practical steps to address the problem
Reporting to/support from sports governing body to club
A range of clear sanctions for poor behaviour
Increased monitoring, support and ‘policing’ of individuals or groups identified as representing a problem
Wherever possible, actions taken should not impact on the ability of a young person to continue to participate

30. Reporting concerns
Concerns about the behaviour of parents or spectators should be reported to: XXX Club details XXX NGB details
Include relevant contact details (telephone, , website).

31. Next steps: (Optional) Exercises
Identify the core elements of a parent/spectator code of conduct? or
Describe how young people could be involved in the process of developing a code of conduct
What do you/your club/sport need to do
next?

32. Young people tell us they want…..
their voices to be heard
a focus on enjoyment rather than winning
parents and coaches to have clear roles and behaviour guidelines
there to be mutually agreed expectations and aspirations
celebration of their successes - wider than simply winning (eg learning a new skill, playing well, trying hard)

33. Remember: ‘It’s our game not yours’