1. Elflandia Script SCENE 1 (speaking to the audience)
Elf 1: Welcome to Elflandia – a land of joy and mirth!
Elf 2: Welcome to Elflandia – the most wonderful place on Earth!
Elf 3: Elflandia is a land of big dreams and curly toes.
Elf 4: But exactly where it is …
All: Shhh!
Elf 4: Nobody really knows!

2. Elflandia Welcome friends, to Elflandia, Our little place in the sun!
Join us now in our story.
We’ll have barrels of fun!
We’re merrily making toys.
We’re stacking them up on shelves.
Yes, welcome all to Elflandia.
It’s a land that’s full of elves!

3. Elflandia Now, at the start of every day, We sing with voices true.
We sing our nation’s anthem,
And we’ll sing it now for you:
Elflandia, in unison we rise.
Elflandia, not far, ‘cause we’re pintsize.
And if you can get to Elflandia,
You can stay, enjoy yourself,
For every one is welcome here,
As long as you’re an elf!

4. Elflandia And at the end of every day, Beneath the sunset’s glow,
We sing again together,
As we shiver, deep in snow!
Elflandia, in unison we rise.
Elflandia, not far, ‘cause we’re pintsize.
And if you can get to Elflandia,
You can stay, enjoy yourself,
For every one is welcome here,
As long as you’re an elf!
Elflandia!

5. Elflandia Script SCENE 2
(Elves are talking to each other; trying to convince the others that humans are real.)
Jangle: Hey Jingle, what are you reading?
Is it fiction or is it fact?
Jingle: Oh, it’s a book about human beings,
And about the way they act.
Jangle: Oh it really must be fiction then.
Real humans are inconceivable.
Jingle: No human could actually exist.
The things they do are unbelievable!

6. Elflandia Script
Elf 1: I’m telling you, I think they are real! I heard their songs and cheers! I heard them singing holiday songs with my very own pointed ears!
Elf 2: But have you actually ever seen a real human being? It’s hard to believe in anything that you are not really seeing.
Elf 3: Once I saw some tracks in the snow
That must have been 10 inches long!
Elf 4: And I heard a giant person singing
A totally human song.
Elves: Really? What did it sound like?

7. Elflandia Script
Elf 4: It was a little bit scary, but it went something like this. (very loudly) DECK THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY! FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!
Elf 5: YIKES! That IS scary! No elf would ever make a sound like that. Are you sure it wasn’t the wail of a cat?
Elf 6: No! No! He’s right. I heard it, too.
And I was so frightened, I didn’t know what to do.
Elf 7: Well, enough about humans and enough about a cat. We have lots of work to do, so let’s cut the chat!

8. Elflandia Script Elf 8: We’ve got to make toys and presents and stuff.
No matter how much we make, it never seems enough.
Elf 9: I hate to be a downer and I hate to disappoint,
But if humans aren’t real creatures, then what is the point?
Elf 10: Ours is not to wonder why.
Ours is just to make or buy.
Elf 11: Well, elves have very little money, so we better get busy. The list that Santa left for us is enough to make me dizzy!

9. Making Toys PART 1: Better get busy (4x) PART 2: Gotta hurry up! (4x)
Tap! Tap! Tap! (2x)

10. Making Toys Making toys one by one, Making toys can be lots of fun.
If you’re sweet, and if you’re kind,
We have a toy for you in mind.
Every day, every night,
Working, working with all our might.
Making joy is what we do.
We’re making lots of dreams come true.

11. Making Toys
Oh, ho! Ho, ho ho!
Work and sing away!
Oh, ho! Ho, ho, ho!
Make a happy holiday!

12. Making Toys Every day, punch that clock;
Sanding, drilling and knock, knock, knock!
Make each toy a big surprise.
Open it right before their eyes!
All of us do our best.
Most days we never stop to rest.
We make fun, and we make joy,
Adding the love to each new toy!

13. Making Toys
Oh, ho! Ho, ho ho!
Work and sing away!
Oh, ho! Ho, ho, ho!
Make a happy holiday!

14. Making Toys PART 1: Better get busy (2x) PART 2: Gotta hurry up! (2x)
Tap! Tap! Tap! (2x)
Make a happy holiday!

15. Elflandia Script SCENE 3
Elf 1: But wait a minute! Wait a minute! I can’t make one more.
Besides, if humans aren’t real, who are we making these presents for?
Elf 2: But they are real! They are as real as you and me.
Sometimes you have to believe in things that you can’t see.
Elf 3: One time, this really spooky thing happened and I heard this huge
human snoring. It sounded like a lion that was growling and roaring!
All: Noooooo!
Elf 3: Yes. It sounded like this! (snores)
(All gasp!)
Elf 4: You mean like this? (snores)
Elf 5: Or this? (snores)
(Soon all are saying “like this?” randomly and making hilarious snoring sounds.)

16. Elflandia Script Elf 3: Exactly! No elf could make a sound like that.
Humans are real or I’ll eat my hat!
Elf 4: What would you do if you ever met a real one?
Elf 5: I’d duck into the woods and run, run, run!
Elf 6: I hear they are mean when they wake from a rest.
Elf 7: I hear they are often grumpy and stressed.
Elf 8: They can’t all be mean and grumpy and stressed;
But at holiday time, I hear some get depressed!
All: Depressed – at the happiest time of the year?

17. Elflandia Script
Elf 8: Yeah, I hear they go around huffin’ and puffin’.
Elf 9: I heard they eat mountains of turkey and stuffin’!
All: Ew! Gross!
Elf 10: I can just see them going around like “Bah Humbug!”
Elf 11: Or “grrrrrr!”
Elf 12: Or “Mind you own business!”
Elf 13: I hear they are big and loud and hairy!
Elf 14: Let’s face it! If humans are real, they sure are scary!

18. Silly Humans I don’t mean to gossip, or act like a clod,
But I’ve heard humans
are kind of odd!
They do silly stuff.
I’m not telling lies.
They choose diet soda
with a big pile o’ fries!

19. If half the stuff were true, By now, they’d be extinct!
Silly Humans
Silly humans!
Are they real, well,
what do you think?
If half the stuff were true,
By now, they’d be extinct!

20. Silly Humans We heard when they’re tired, they go for a run.
They lie for hours in blazing sun!
They sound so bizarre.
They’re from the unknown.
They line up forever
just to buy a new phone!

21. If half the stuff were true, By now, they’d be extinct!
Silly Humans
Silly humans!
Are they real, well,
what do you think?
If half the stuff were true,
By now, they’d be extinct!

22. Silly Humans The more I hear about them,
The more they make me nervous!
We might have to face them
‘cause we’re in Santa’s service.
We could be friends on Facebook,
Or maybe I could tweet one.
I know they sound outrageous,
But I’d kind-a like-ta meet one!

23. If half the stuff were true, By now, they’d be extinct!
Silly Humans
Silly humans!
Are they real, well,
what do you think?
If half the stuff were true,
By now, they’d be extinct!
Ya think?

24. Elflandia Script SCENE 4
Elf 1: Hey everybody, we just heard from Santa.
He’s coming in late from a day in Atlanta!
Elf 2: He said he’s bringing a human along.
He wants us to greet them both with a song.
Elf 3: A human? A real live human is coming?
We better get moving; let’s get this place humming.
Elf 4: Santa wants us to show them what it is we do.
All his note said was “I’m counting on you!”
Elf 5: We can’t let him down, so everyone in their place.
And put on your cheeriest, bright elfin’ face!

25. Elflandia Script
Elf 6: Here he comes! Here he comes – with a human down the luge! Oh my! Oh my! That human is HUGE!!!
(Santa enters with a normal human.)
Santa: Ho! Ho! Ho! Hello, everyone!
Sorry to be late. I’ve been circling the sun!
Elves: Welcome home, Santa! We’re so glad you’re here!
Now, it is truly the best time of year!
Santa: And look, I’ve brought along a dear friend;
The finest of teachers I’d like to commend.
Elf 7: Santa, we are so excited for you to arrive,
But this human being – is he really alive?

26. Elflandia Script Santa: Oh yes! He’s real and the cream of the crop!
What he does for children is right up on top.
Elf 8: Oh, I think we love children!
Santa: And so does he!
Elf 9: He seems almost real, but can that be?
Santa: He’s real, all right, but he’s having his doubts.
He’s worried that Happy Holidays are on their way out!
Elf 10: What? What? He can’t be serious!
He’s just overworked! He must be delirious!
Elf 11: Happy Holidays are still as real as can be!
And the best thing about happiness is that it’s totally free!

27. Elflandia Script Santa: I know, you’re right! I know this is true.
If anyone can show him, I know that it’s you.
Elf 12: Sir, let me see if I can speak like a human and help you understand. You
see Mr. Human sir, here in Elflandia we spend the whole year wondering
if human beings really even exist. But every year, Santa comes home from his trip around the world and tells us of the amazing things he sees.
Elf 13: He sees human beings of every shape and size, helping others and
being nice.
Elf 14: He sees people going out of their way to be kind and generous, honest
and good to one another.
Elf 15: Then he comes home and tells us about it, and it seems to make all our
hard work worthwhile.

28. All a Part of the Story Sometimes it seems like
it’s the hardest time of year.
Where’s the spirit?
Where’s the Christmas cheer?
But Santa tells the stories
Of people that he’s known,
And the kindness and love
that they have shown.

29. All a Part of the Story Logan’s at the shelter,
Making dinner for the poor,
And no one leaves there hungry
When they knock on Emma’s door.
For people feeling lonely,
Noah sings a friendly song.
And Alexis led the coat drive,
Bringing warmth all season long.

30. All a Part of the Story We believe, in our hearts we know it’s true,
Happiness can happen
If we let it shine through.
People helping people
On a night that’s crystal clear,
They’re all a part of the story
At this special time of year.

31. All a Part of the Story Aiden had to journey
many miles to see old friends,
And Haylee’s helping strangers,
Her compassion never ends.
There’s Ryan, Ted and Taylor
Spreading kindness everywhere,
And when people need a little lift,
We know that Santa’s there!

32. All a Part of the Story We believe, in our hearts we know it’s true,
Happiness can happen
If we let it shine through.
People helping people
On a night that’s crystal clear,
They’re all a part of the story
At this special time of year.

33. Elflandia Script SCENE 5
Elf 1: So even if you’re the only human being we’ve ever actually laid eyes on, Santa tells us that most of you are really wonderful and that we should be glad to reward you once a year at Christmas time.
Elf 2: Why would you doubt him? After all, he’s Santa Claus!
All: (with hands to face as in Home Alone) He TALKS!!!!
Elf 3: Well, now that we know humans are real, there’s only one thing left to do.
Elf 4: (to the audience) We’d like to take a picture with every one of you!
Elf 5: So clear the way and watch your feet; elves are coming down the aisle!
Elf 6: Sit up nice and straight, my friends, and put on a happy smile.

34. Elfie Selfie! O – K, humans, Grab your phones! HERE WE COME!
Hold the phone, ‘cause here we come
To take an Elfie Selfie.
It’s well known, you tap your thumb
Show me your best holiday smile.
Elf to Self, I like your style!
Together, we’ll be lookin’ fine,
So put that face right next to mine!

35. Let’s all get together now, I wanna take an Elfie Selfie with you!
I want an Elfie Selfie,
An Elfie Selfie!
Let’s all get together now,
two-by-two!
I wanna take an Elfie Selfie with you!

36. Elfie Selfie! Just to prove that you exist,
We’ll take an Elfie Selfie.
No one move, or you’ll be missed.
Count to three, be sitting up straight.
Next to me, you sure look great!
And with your genuine Elf Appeal,
It might be true that you are real!

37. Let’s all get together now, I wanna take an Elfie Selfie with you!
I want an Elfie Selfie,
An Elfie Selfie!
Let’s all get together now,
two-by-two!
I wanna take an Elfie Selfie with you!

38. Elfie Selfie! Everybody say “CHEESE!” “CHEESE!”
I want an Elfie Selfie,
An Elfie Selfie!
Let’s all get together now,
two-by-two!
I wanna take an Elfie Selfie with you!
Thanks!

39. Elflandia Script SCENE 6
Elf 1: So, I guess human beings really do exist,
And there is something very nice about them that we can’t resist.
Elf 2: Thank you for being so kind to each other at this special time of year, And for sharing all of your happiness and all your holiday cheer.
Elf 3: We hope you have a healthy year and take care of yourselves.
Elf 4: And remember us here in Elflandia, your favorite place for elves!
All Elves: Happy Holidays! (Or Merry Christmas!)

40. Reprise: Elflandia So long, from all Elflandia.
We hope you liked our show.
We’re glad we met real humans,
But it’s time for us to go!
All together now:
Elflandia, in unison we rise.
Elflandia, not far, ‘cause we’re pintsize.

41. Reprise: Elflandia And if you can get to Elflandia,
You can stay, enjoy yourself,
For every one is welcome here,
As long as you’re an elf,
As long as you’re an elf!
Elflandia!