1. Gender Roles in Marriage

2. Masculine or feminine?

3. Jacobson Marital Roles Scale
List 1-18 in your notebooks and mark each question as
SA=Strongly Agree A=Agree U=Uncertain D=Disagree SD=Strongly Disagree
The husband should help with the housework
The wife should take a job if she wants to
The husband should help wash the dishes
If a husband cheats on his wife, she can cheat on him
Wives are too independent these days

4. SA=Strongly Agree A=Agree U=Uncertain D=Disagree SD=Strongly Disagree
If the husband wants children, his wife should agree.
The husband should decide how to spend any extra money
Husbands should be more strict with their wives
What a husbad does in his spare time is his own business
The husband should decide where to live.
The wife should fit her life to her husband’s
The husband’s wishes should come first in most things

5. SA=Strongly Agree A=Agree U=Uncertain D=Disagree SD=Strongly Disagree
Marriage is the best career for a woman
The husband should be the boss of the family
If the husband is running around with another woman, the wife should put up with it until he comes to his senses
It’s ok for the wife to earn as much as her husband
A wife should let her husband decide most things
Almost all money matters should be decided by the husband

6. “Jacobsen Marital Roles Scale”
Instructions: Give yourself one point each time your answer matches the response listed by the corresponding number below. Example - on question number 1, if you responded A, give yourself one point. If you responded SD, do not give yourself a point. Total your score and circle your rating at the bottom.
1. S.A, A S.D S.D.,D., U.
2. S.A., A S.D S.D.,D., U.
3. S.A., A S.D., D S.D.,D., U.
4. S.A., A., U S.D., D.,U S.A.,A.
5. S.D., D S.D., D S.D.,D.
6. S.D., D S.D., D S.D.,D., U.
METHOD OF RATING
15-18 = extremely egalitarian = egalitarian 6-10 = traditional 1- 5 = extremely traditional

7. “Egalitarian and Traditional”
Being an egalitarian couple does not mean that the couple does everything together or at the same time. The egalitarian philosophy means that the division of labor is equal but is not necessarily traditional.
TRADITIONAL
For many years, roles in marriage were defined as “masculine” or “feminine”. That division of labor is what we will call traditional. In today’s society this means that the division of labor is most often NOT equal.

8. Couple “O”
Susan and Mike had been married for nearly 45 years. They were proud to have been married that long. They never really talked about who did what; that was just understood. Susan did all the cooking and cleaning, unless they were in the canyon, and then Mike took over. He made a delicious stew and Dutch oven cooking had become his specialty. The children loved their dad's Dutch oven potatoes. The children had been mostly Susan's responsibility. Mike had not done much with babies except beam when he announced, "Wow, we have got us another son. Think we will name this one after my brother, Jason." It was not until Jason Jr. turned about six that Mike's fathering really began. Now Jason Jr. could play all those games that Mike had always dreamed of playing with his son. They would play catch and wrestle on the lawn. Mike took care of the cars and all the bills. In fact, Susan had never put gas in the car or paid one bill in all those years. Mike always bought her flowers on Mother's Day and Susan always made fresh apple pie on Father's Day.

9. Discussion of Case Study:
How do you think this couples would rank on the Jacobson Marital Roles Scale?

10. Couple “18”
Ryan and Monica have been married seven years and have three children. Jamie is five, Kevin is three, and Amy is one and a half years-old. Monica is an accountant and Ryan is an advertising agent. At the end of a long day there is no therapy like kids to take your mind off your work. Ryan and Monica decided before they got married that they would both work. They always knew they wanted children but they were not quite prepared for the changes three little ones brought into their lives. Monica had to reserve all of her sick leave to use when Amy was born in case her short maternity leave was not enough. This meant that Ryan was usually the one to stay home when Jamie or Kevin got sick. However, he really did not mind—he enjoyed his kids and spent lots of time with them. Ryan spent most evenings giving baths to the children and straightening the house. Every other night was his night to fix dinner and he often included Jamie in the planning and preparation to give Monica more time with the two little ones. Monica often joked about how good he was at doing the laundry or changing the baby's diaper. "I sure married a wonderful wife," she teased.

11. Discussion of Case Studies:
How do you think these two couples would rank on the Jacobson Marital Roles Scale?
Couple O Extremely Traditional
Couple 18 Extremely Egalitarian
Do you think these couples could have happy marriages?
Do you see any advantages or disadvantages in these two marriages?

12. History of the Changing Roles of Women
How did “traditional” get to be a tradition?
Before the industrial revolution in the early part of this century, men and women worked side by side. It was not until work was moved to the factories that women's work place became the home and labor was rigidly divided by sex. The division became especially strong after World War II.

14. The Good Wife . . .
An excerpt from Housekeeping Monthly on May 13, 1955
Have dinner ready
Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal -- on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself
Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

15. The Good Wife Clear away clutter Prepare the children
Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.
Prepare the children
Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

16. The Good Wife Minimize the noise Some DON'TS Listen to him
At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.
Some DON'TS
Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.
Listen to him
You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

17. The Good Wife Make him comfortable
Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lay down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
Make the evening his
Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax.

18. The Good Wife Don't ask him questions The Goal
About his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
The Goal
Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.

19. The Honeymooners—Early 1950’s

20. Leave it to Beaver— Late 1950’s-Early 1960’s

21. The Brady Bunch—Late 1960’s

22. All in the Family—1970’s

23. The Cosby Show

24. Home Improvement

25. Today . . .
Half of all married women and mothers working outside the home.
The biggest increase has been women with preschoolers and infants at home
Most women use their income on necessary goods and services for their families.

26. Problems Encountered by Dual Income Families
Competing Demands of Career and Family Life
Working Women suffer from more stress related health problems than women who don’t work
High blood pressure, headaches, tension, depression
However, it is not the question of whether or not they work that determines the amount of stress, but whether they enjoy the work and what kind of support they get from their husbands.

27. Other conflicts may include . . .
Work hours may be opposite each other, not allowing the couple to see each other very often.
Shift work causes multiple problems with transportation and arranging for child care.
If one person has a higher paying or more prestigious job, there may be jealousy from the other partner.

28. Summary:
The discussion of Gender roles has been a hot controversial topic for many years in society as well as religion and is an important one for you and your spouse to work through before you get married.

29. Guy’s Costs Engagement Ring Bride’s flower bouquet
Bride’s wedding band
Wedding party flowers
Groom’s tuxedo
Corsages for all girls
Grooms Men Tuxedo
Boutonniere for all boys
Food for rehearsal dinner and/or
Honeymoon
Transportation
wedding luncheon
Lodging
Food
Marriage License
Entertainment
Wedding officiator Fee (person that performs the wedding)
Bride’s Gift

30. Girl’s Costs Engagement Photos Ceremony / Reception (2 slides)
Wedding Invitations
Decorations
Groom’s wedding band
Wedding facility location
Wedding Dress, veil, and shoes
Refreshments
Hair, Make-up, and nails for bride (optional)
Wedding Cake
Music
Bridesmaid dresses
Photography and wedding video
Thank-you cards for gifts
Wedding party gifts (people in the wedding)
Groom’s Gift