2. Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

4. Today, I was at a professional hockey game
Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. As I was still in shock, the old man next to me stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML

5. Today, I was at a professional hockey game
Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. As I was still in shock, the old man next to me stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML