1. The most dangerous place for a woman to be is…
In her home!

2. Fact or Myth?
1. The level of violence in battering relationships escalates over time.

3. Fact Assaults becomes more intense and more frequent over time.
Research indicates that 22-35% of emergency room visits by women are related to domestic violence.
The FBI reports that spousal murders account for one-eighth of all homicides in the U.S.

4. 2. Batterers are out of control.
Fact or Myth?
2. Batterers are out of control.

5. Myth
The batterer…
Targets his or her partner, and in many cases, the children, not people in his professional and social life
Many batterers select the time and place, while others choose which parts of the body to batter.
By claiming to be "out of control," they are actively avoiding responsibility for their actions.

6. Fact or Myth?
3. Alcohol or drugs cause battering.

7. Myth
Alcohol is involved in about one-half of all battering situations, but it is not the cause.
Batterers often use substance abuse as an excuse to be out of control
Many alcoholics and drug users are non-violent, while many batterers do not use legal or controlled substances.
Battering does not usually stop when the abuser achieves sobriety.
**Some battered women turn to drugs or alcohol as a method of dealing with the horror of the abuse.

8. 4. Battered women contribute to the abuse.
Fact or Myth?
4. Battered women contribute to the abuse.

9. Myth
Battered women do not in any way contribute to the abuse; they can neither control nor prevent the batterer's behavior.
Lack of self-esteem and a need to please are direct results of victimization, not its causes.
A woman does not enable the batterer to abuse her by remaining in the relationship.
Abuse happens regardless who the victim is or what her actions are.

10. Fact or Myth?
5. Battering is a relationship problem best dealt with in couples counseling.

11. Myth
Battering is an attitude problem – the abuser believes he is superior to women, entitled to their obedience and justified in using physical force and intimidation to get his way.
Because of the relationship’s power imbalance, couples counseling is dangerous to the victim, and based on the faulty assumption that both individuals are responsible.
It can create a false sense of safety when, in reality, any attempt by the woman to freely discuss the problem in the batterer's presence places her at risk of retaliatory violence.

12. 6. Domestic violence usually only happens in adult couples.
Fact or Myth?
6. Domestic violence usually only happens in adult couples.

13. Myth
The fact is that a many as one-third of all high school and college-age young people experience violence in an intimate or dating relationship.

14. 7. Most people will end a relationship if their partner hits them.
Fact or Myth?
7. Most people will end a relationship if their partner hits them.

15. Myth
The fact is that nearly 80% of girls who have been physically abused in their intimate relationships continue to date their abuser after the onset of violence.

16. 8. Most men who abuse their partners grew up in violent homes.
Fact or Myth?
8. Most men who abuse their partners grew up in violent homes.

17. Fact
Men who have witnessed violence between parents are 3 times more likely to abuse their own wives and children than children of non-violent parents.
The sons of the most violent parents are 1000 times more likely to become batterers.

18. What does the victim of abuse look like???
Someone who is weak, dependent?
Someone with low self-esteem?
Someone who is not highly educated?
Someone who is poor?
Someone who provokes the violence?
Someone who is a drug/alcohol abuser?

19. Video
(#33 study guide)

20. What is Domestic Abuse?
Definition: Psychologist Susan Forward, Ph.D. has described abuse as “…any behavior that is intended to control another human being through the use of fear, humiliation, and verbal or physical assaults…it is the systematic persecution of one partner by another.
Physical violence
Emotional Abuse/Verbal Abuse
Sexual Abuse
Stalking

21. What thinking makes Domestic Violence so common?
Those being abused do not want to talk about it.
“Almost never happens”
“blame the victim”
She nags too much, she deserves it.
Why doesn’t she leave him?

22. THE CYCLE OF ABUSE:
An abusive relationship can start subtly. Gradually the abuse becomes more frequent, more severe, and possibly life threatening. It follows a cycle:

23. TYPES OF ABUSE (CONTROL)
Economic
Limiting job opportunities
Controlling the bank account
Use of intimidation
Uses threatening actions; words
Smashing or destroying property
Displaying weapons
Isolating the victim from friends/family
Keeping “tabs” on them
Making partner quit job

24. BEHAVIORS OF THE BATTERER (#35 study guide)
Is unusually attentive at first (seduces victim)
Then isolates victim
Threatens violence
Controlling personality; overly jealous/possessive
Blames others for his/her problems
Explosive anger
(In some cases may seem very charming and gentle to others)

25. THE BATTERER… Needs power and control over his partner
Often had distant and/or abusive parents
Has fear of abandonment which makes the point of separation the most dangerous

26. CHARACTERISTICS OF THE BATTERED PARTNER
Some have low self-esteem; usually low self-esteem is a result not a cause
Only thing they all have in common is that they chose the wrong person.
Suffers embarrassment, guilt, terror, and rage
Suffers physical stress-related symptoms
Believes no one can solve her problems; she keeps “the secret”
Is absent from work/school often
Has injuries with questionable explanations
Believes 2 possibly fatal lies: (1) that she is to blame for his violent outbursts and (2) that each one will be the last.

27. Why doesn’t she leave??? (#36 study guide)
Is in love
Feels she is the only one who can “save” him
Is afraid to leave
Denial that the relationship is actually abusive
Feels responsible to keep the children safe and the family together
Has limited job opportunities and money
Calm periods in the relationship give her hope that she can keep her family together

28. What about the children?

29. GETTING HELP (#37 study guide)
TELL EVERYONE
Family; School personnel; Police (immediate help 911)
Get a TRO
Document abuse and notify authorities
Make an escape plan w/o partner knowing
(Statewide domestic violence hotline SAFE (7233))

30. HOW TO HELP A FRIEND Do not ignore the signs. Talk to your friend
Do not judge
Encourage your friend to confide in trusted adult and to get professional help
NEVER get between your friend and his/her abuser

31. The TRUTH Starts with idolizing then isolating
It’s not about love, it’s about CONTROL
ANYONE can be a victim
Happens in the presence of a power imbalance.
The victim is not perpetrating the crime and should NOT be blamed
Many good reasons why she doesn’t leave
Never get between the abuser and the victim; get help
Recognize the signs and get out before you get hooked

32. What does a healthy relationship look like?
Honest
Respectful
Equal
Responsible
Intimate
Encouraging
Supportive
Independent