1. Stress and Crisis in Relationships
CHAPTER 14
Stress and Crisis in Relationships

2. Chapter 14: Stress and Crisis in Relationships Introduction
Quote: Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.
Albert Einstein (to his son)
Discussion:
What is the purpose of stress? What are advantages and disadvantages of stress? What are some common stress inducers for students?

3. Chapter 14: Stress and Crisis in Relationships Chapter Outline
Personal Stress and Crisis Events
Positive Stress-Management Strategies
Family Crisis Examples
Marriage and Family Therapy
The Future of Stress and Crisis in Relationships

4. Personal Stress and Crisis Events
Stress is a reaction of the body to substantial or unusual demands
Irritability, high blood pressure, and depression
Crisis is a crucial situation that requires changes in normal patterns of behavior
A family crisis is a situation that upsets the normal functioning of the family and requires a new set of responses to the stressor

5. Personal Stress and Crisis Events
Sources of stress and crises can be external or internal
Stressors or crises may be expected or unexpected
Stress and crises are normal parts of family life

6. Resilient Families Key factors that promote family resiliency
Positive outlook
Spirituality
Flexibility
Connectedness
Clarity
Open emotional sharing
ABCX Model of Family Stress

7. Positive Stress-Management Strategies
Scaling back and restructuring family roles
Choosing a positive perspective
Exercise
Family cohesion, friends, and and relatives
Love
Religion and spirituality
Laughter and play
Sleep
Pets

8. Harmful Stress-Management Strategies
Keeping feelings inside
Taking out frustration on or blaming others
Denying or avoiding the problem
Men are more likely to use potentially harmful strategies
Using alcohol
Keeping others from knowing how bad the situation is

9. Family Crisis Examples
Physical Illness and Disability
Mental Illness
Middle Age Crazy (Midlife Crisis)
Extramarital Affair
Unemployment
Alcohol/ Substance Abuse
Death of Family Member

10. Physical Illness and Disability
Treatment options
Physical effects following surgery
Psychological effects following surgery
Evaluation

11. Mental Illness
Alterations in thinking, mood or behavior that are associated with distress and impaired function
Eight percent of adults have a serious mental illness
Higher rates of marital disruption in couples in which one or both individuals suffer from mental illness

12. Middle Age Crazy (Midlife Crisis)
In a 10-year study of close to 8,000 U.S. adults ages 25-74, most individuals reported the middle years brought no crisis at all.
23% reported a crisis in their lives.
Those who experienced a crisis were going through a divorce.
2/3rds were accepting of getting older.
1/3rd felt some personal turmoil related to the aging process.

13. Extramarital Affair
Affairs are of different types, which may include the following:
Brief encounter
Paid sex
Instrumental or utilitarian affair
Coping mechanism
Paraphiliac affairs
Office romance
Internet use

14. Extramarital Affair In one study of undergraduate students
21% admitted to cheating on a partner
39% stated that a partner had cheated on them
Men are more upset if their wife has a heterosexual affair while women are more upset if their husband has a homosexual affair.

15. Extramarital Affair

16. Reasons for Extramarital Affairs
Variety, novelty, and excitement
Workplace friendships
Relationships dissatisfaction
Sexual dissatisfaction
Revenge
Homosexual relationship
Aging
Absence from partner

17. Revealing One’s Affair by Confession/ Partner Snooping
In person (38%)
Over the phone (38%)
By a third partner (12%)
Via (6%)
By text message (6%)
Snooping – investigating (without the partner’s knowledge or permission) a romantic partner’s private communication motivated by concern that the partner may be hiding something.
Of 268 undergraduates, 66% reported having snooped.

18. Effects of an Affair Emotional consequences Economic consequences
Alienation of Affection – lawsuits which give a spouse the right to sue a third party for taking the affections of a spouse away.
Legal in 6 states (Hawaii, Illinois, New Mexico, North Carolina, Mississippi, South Dakota, and Utah)
Medical consequences

19. Successful Recovery from Infidelity
Motivation to stay together
Taking joint responsibility
Forgiveness, counseling, and not referring to the event again
Vicarious learning
Feeling pride in coming through a difficult experience

20. Prevention of Infidelity
The primary factor predictive of infidelity is a negative pattern of interaction.
Spouses least vulnerable are in loving, communicative relationships where each affirms the other.
Some couples feel an open marriage is the answer to being unfaithful.

21. Unemployment In early 2014, the unemployment rate in the U.S. was 6.6.
Society expects men to be the primary breadwinners in the family.
Society equates masculine self-worth and identity with job and income
A woman’s identity is less tied to her work.

22. Alcohol/ Substance Abuse
Health and medical problems
Legal problems
Loss of employment
Financial ruin
School failure
Emotionally distant relationships
Divorce

23. Death of Family Member Death of one’s child Death of one’s parent
Can lead to relationship conflict and unhappiness
Spouses need to be patient and practice tolerance in allowing both to grieve in their own way
Death of one’s parent
Chronic sorrow

24. Suicide of a Family Member
Characteristics of people most likely to commit suicide
15 to 19 years old
Homosexual
Male
Family history of suicide
Mood disorder
Substance abuse
Past history of child abuse and/or parental sex abuse
“Permanent solutions to a temporary problem”
Survivors of Suicide

25. Marriage and Family Therapy
Signs that a couple should consider therapy
Feeling distant
Not wanting to or being unable to communicate with your partner
Avoiding each other
Feeling depressed
Drifting into a relationship with someone else
Increased drinking
Privately contemplating separation or breaking up

26. Availability of Marriage and Family Therapists
Around 50,000 marriage and family therapists in the U.S.
Can be medical doctors, nurses, psychologists, social workers, professional counselors
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT)
Cost is worth it if divorce can be avoided.

27. Variety of Approaches to Couple Therapy
More than 20 different approaches are used.
Behavioral Couple Therapy (BCT)
Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy (IBCT)
Telerelationship Therapy

28. Some Caveats about Marriage and Family Therapy
Sometimes makes the marriage worse
Saying things a spouse can’t forget
Feeling hopeless at not being able to resolve a problem
Feeling resentment over new demands a spouse makes in therapy
Unrealistic picture from the therapist
Not a quick and easy fix

29. The Future of Stress and Crisis in Relationships
Stress and crisis will continue to be a part of relationships.
A major source of stress will be economic.
Most relationship partners will show resilience to rise above whatever crisis happens.

30. Quick Quiz
A reaction of the body to substantial or unusual demands is called:
resiliency
crisis
burnout
stress
Ans: D

31. Quick Quiz
Stress is a:
process
crisis
state
reaction
Ans: A

32. Quick Quiz Who is most adversely affected by a spouse's illness?
the ill spouse
the ill spouse's children
the healthy spouse
their parents
Ans: C

33. Quick Quiz
A law that allows for a spouse to sue a third party for taking away the affections of a spouse is called the:
Coolidge Effect
Alienation of Affection
Extradyadic Involvement
Palliative Care
Ans: B

34. Quick Quiz Drug use is most prevalent among which age group?
12- to 17-year olds
18- to 25-year olds
26- to 34-year olds
35- to 40-year olds
Ans: B