1. The Language of Gender & Sexuality in 2018
Here’s a little about my background: I currently work at the Villanova Writing Center as a professional tutor, but before I came to Villanova, I spent 5 years working as a therapist at several organizations in the Philly area, including the Attic Youth Center, a queer youth center that serves a population between the ages of 14 and 24. At the Attic, the majority of my clients identified as non-cisgender, which is an umbrella term that includes a range of identities such as being trans-identified, genderqueer, or gender non-binary.
Before coming to the Attic, I had very little training that was specifically geared towards working with trans-identified youth, or even queer youth. This is partly because such training is not often available, and was not a part of my social work program. On my own I read extensively on the subject, hoping to fill in the gaps I had in training, and worked closely with my supervisor and other therapists to try to understand how to best serve this population. I began to understand that the language around gender is ever-evolving, and that in some ways it is impossible to ever have a comprehensive understanding of the language and terminology we are using to describe gender and sexuality.

2. Gender Is socially constructed Exists on a spectrum Is intersectional
It is impossible to condense this topic - which covers themes that span thousands of books, articles, documentaries, etc and encompasses an ever-evolving conversation - into 15 minutes. So today I am going to focus mostly on gender with some discussion of sexuality, and I am going to try to leave you with three central elements that I believe are key to understanding how we talk about gender in 2018.

3. Gender is Socially Constructed
First, let’s talk about what gender is.
Gender “describes how societies determine and manage sex categories; the cultural meanings attached to men and women’s roles; and how individuals understand their identities including, but not limited to, being a man, woman, transgender, intersex, genderqueer and other gender positions. Gender involves social norms, attitudes and activities that society deems more appropriate for one sex over another. Gender is also determined by what an individual feels and does.”
[Source: Dr Zuleyka Zevallos, “Sociology of Gender”]
Gender identity can be seen as being comprised of three dimensions: our experience in our bodies, the identity itself, i.e. how we see and label ourselves, and our gender expression - how we show that identity to the world.
Though social constructionist theories have existed since the 1960s, I think the way that they are being applied and embodied by Millennials and Generation Z is actually quite new. At its core, the idea that gender is socially constructed translates to a destabilizing and dismantling of the notion that gender identity exists apart from the socio-cultural norms we assign genders. Basically: there are no innately “male” or “female” characteristics, and someone’s genitals don’t determine their gender.
If you wonder how destabilizing an idea this is, think of some of the instances where we make assumptions or enforce certain rules based on someone’s gender - everything from dressing babies in pink or blue, or deciding what toys children “should” play with, to what bathroom you use. The gender binary is so ingrained in our society that this idea that it isn’t “real” is often quite disturbing to people, and we see resistance to this conceptualization of gender in legislation such as the bathroom bills designed to prevent people who identify as transgender from using bathrooms for their preferred gender.

4. What do those identities actually look like?
The idea of the social construction of gender leads somewhat naturally into the idea of a gender spectrum. This graphic dismantles the idea that gender can be fit into distinct categories, ie the binary of male and female. Instead we see gender as existing on a spectrum, or consisting of a range of identities related to both how we see ourselves and how we are seen by others. As an alternative to the limiting notion of a gender binary, we now have the idea that gender exists on a spectrum, which means people aren’t limited to two identities but instead can identify with a range of identities that exist either somewhere between those identities and also outside of them entirely.
Though I’m not going to go too deeply into this idea in this presentation, this graphic also makes a distinction between physical and emotional attraction, which is the subject of a whole other presentation about the nuances of terminology we use to describe sexuality. I would just say that this is part of the same movement toward looking at sexuality and gender in a more complex and nuanced way.

5. Emotionally Attracted Sex
Gender Identity
Gender Expression
Male Intersex Female
Attracted to Men Any or Many Genders Attracted to Women
Man Genderqueer Woman
Masculine Androgynous Feminine
Physically Attracted
Attracted to Men Any or Many Genders Attracted to Women
Though graphic looks like a bit of a mess at first, it is designed to show how you might break down this more nuanced model of gender and sexuality to understand its component parts.
This chart breaks down someone’s gender identity and sexual orientation into five different categories: sex, gender identity, gender expression, who they are emotionally attracted to and who they are physically attracted to.
1st example: sex assigned at birth is male, gender identity is male, expresses this gender as masculine, emotionally attracted to men and physically attracted to men. Possibly identify them as a gay man, if that’s how they choose to be seen or identified.
2nd example: sex assigned at birth is female, gender identity is a woman, expresses gender in a feminine way, emotionally attracted to any or many genders, physically attracted to women.
3rd example: sex assigned at birth is female, gender identity is genderqueer, expresses gender in a feminine way, emotionally attracted to any or many genders, physically attracted to women.
Let’s get started…
If we follow the black dots we can see that this person was assigned male at birth, and their gender identity is also male, so this person is a cisgender man. They also express gender in a masculine way. They are also emotionally and physically attracted to men, and may choose to identify as gay, but also might not. It’s important to recognize that when a person takes on an identity they are also taking on the history, stereotypes and stigma of an identity, some people may not choose to identify with the identity that we feel most accurately describes their attractions. It’s important to accept the identity that this person shares with you, attempting to push someone into an identity that they don’t want to take on, only strains the relationship you and creates a barrier to continues honest dialoged, and in turn service provision.
Now let’s see what the yellow dots are up to!
So it looks like this person is intersex, their gender identity shows they identity as a women, and they express gender in an feminine way. They are emotionally attracted to any or many genders, but only physically attracted to men. Based in their attraction this person may emotionally connect with or date, men, women, intersex, transgender, or gender non-conforming people. Based on their physical attraction they may only engage in sexual relationships with men. This is someone that might be read as a straight women walking down the street, yet their attractions fall outside of just men. This raises an important question about the ways we choose to identify, should this person take on an identity that reflects only their sexual relationships and identify as straight? Should this person choose an identity that reflects their emotional attractions and take on an identity like bisexual? Well that’s just the thing! It’s totally up to that person to decide, often the words we use to talk about ourselves don’t speak to our full range of sexual attraction, or sexual behavior.
Alright, now let’s check out the red dots!
So it looks like this person was assigned female at birth, yet their gender identity is gender queer, which means they don’t ascribe to the male/female gender binary. They also express gender in a feminine way, so this is someone that if we saw them walking down the street we might assume they are a cisgender women. That’s’ why it’s so important to ask a person’s pronouns when we first meet them! Folks that identify outside of the gender binary often prefers a gender neutral pronoun like they or them – based on our assumptions we would have likely misgendered this person. We can’t assume based on a person’s assigned sex or clothes what gender they identity with! Moving down, this person is also emotionally and physically attracted to any or many genders, which might include cisgender men & women, trans* men and women, intersex, or gender non-conforming people. This person might identity as queer.
Has anyone hear the word queer used in a positive way before? How about a negative way? Queer was a word that was historically used against the LGBTQ community, and in the last 15 years or so has been reclaimed by members of the LGBTQ community. Queer is a word that means something different to everyone who uses it, but the best definition I’ve been able to find is a person who falls outside of the two gender, and/or heterosexual norm.
Before we move to the nest slide, I want to note that these examples are based on folks that exist inside of the systems of gender and sexuality and yet there are many folks that exist outside of one or many of these structures. For instance, folks that don’t see them selves as having a gender identity, would not fall along this spectrum (points to gender identity line) and might choose to identify as agender. Folks that aren’t interested in sexual relations might identity as asexual – and might not fall along they physical attraction spectrum, but also might. While, folks that aren’t interested in romantic relationships might identity as aromantic – and might not fall along the spectrum of emotional attraction, but also might.
Which leads us to the biggest take away of all, gender and sexuality and the words that we use to talk about them, don’t actually say much about us! Within any identity, you’re going to find a number of experiences, attractions, feelings, connected or disconnectedness. Understanding gender and sexuality, is largely about accepting that we might not understand.
I don’t need to know a person’s gender, I just need to know how to respect the names and pronouns they identify with!

6. It’s possible that you’ve heard a number of gender terms, or maybe none at all, but this is where people tend to get confused. I think the terms and labels people have cultivated are attempts to classify different points on this gender spectrum, so a term like “agender” means you don’t identify with any gender, while “genderfluid” indicates that your identity can change or fluctuate. Overall, the most important element is understanding that gender is complex and self-defined, and that rather than assume what someone’s identity is, it’s better to ask them what pronouns they’d like to use and respect their right to inhabit whatever point on the gender spectrum they choose to inhabit.
A term like transgender is an umbrella term for people whose sex, gender expression and gender identity don’t necessarily “match up” - ie someone whose sex assigned at birth is male but they identify as female. When someone talks about being genderqueer, they are referring to a variety of possible identities including gender neutral, agender, non-binary, or gender-fluid.

7. The final point that I wanted to make, which is, again, a topic for a much longer in-depth discussion, is that there is an increased awareness in the queer or LGBTQIA community, that gender and sexuality don’t exist in a vacuum. In fact, they are intersectional with any number of other forms of identity, everything from race and ethnicity to class to disability to age to education level. This is important because in the past in the queer community there has been significant erasure of other forms of identity, which mostly translates to a default of whiteness or maleness or both. So if our collective goal is to create a culture that’s more inclusive and understanding of our diversity, that means not only looking at gender and sexual orientation but also the ways in which those identities intersect and interact with these other identities. The experience of a black transgender man, for example, is going to be different than a white transgender man, or a lower-income gay man with a disability might be different than a wealthier gay man without one.