1. Adding Detail with Leveled Sentences
Nouns, Adjectives and Adverbs

2. College Writing Made Simple
A leveled sentence is one that has depth in terms of details and development
The greatest difference between an emerging student writer and an accomplished collegiate writer is the amount of clarity and concise information present in collegiate writing often lacking in emerging student writing.
Example:
The ornithologist contracted Avian Flu after researching whistler ducks in Singapore.
vs.
The doctor got sick after going to Asia.
Which sentence offers is most succinct and clear?

3. What would happen if you told it like it is?
Rancher
Sells
Free Range
Dairy
Cows
Organic
Limited
Grocers
Higher
Price
Farmer
Cattle
Sells
Market
Price

5. How do you add details to sentences?
Be specific. Specificity requires you to use the right word(s) to describe without question.
Example: doctor vs. gerontologist.
The doctor said his eyes are going bad.
vs.
The gerontologist suggested Mr. James may have glaucoma.
What is a gerontologist and why would such a doctor know about glaucoma?
2. Utilize the most accurate adjectives and adverbs possible for clarity and specificity. Instead of “extremely small, almost naked to the eye” use “microscopic” and get more out of one word.

6. Your Turn
Use the following list of words to craft a well developed sentence. Add the necessary details to convey the general idea below:
A woman became a baker because although she loves the taste of bread and pastries, they often make her sick. She developed a recipe that does not include the ingredient that makes her and others sick and her bakery became very popular because the food she makes is both healthy and delicious.
How will you trim these two sentences to be concise and developed? Hint: you may have to look up both the baker’s condition and the ingredient that makes her sick.