1. Change the World with YOU Power!
Introduce yourself, if it is comfortable for you, tell your audience something about yourself and why you care about the issue.
Ask if people have heard of INR-NFF for older adults. If it is a group of people who don’t know each other – have them turn to their ‘neighbours’ and introduce themselves. It’s a good way to break the ice.

2. Today YOU will learn to:
Recognize warning signs of abuse
Recognize ageism
Respond safely and supportively
Little things YOU do can make a big difference!
Find help in your community
By the end of our time together, we want everyone to feel more able to recognize, respond to signs of abuse and to know how to find help.

3. YOU Power – What is it? YOU are a powerful being in the world!
(most people just don’t know it)
your smallest action has an impact
of some kind…
This is the century when we are realizing that every action has an impact. We can feel the impact when good and bad things happen anywhere in the world. We are learning just how connected and inter-dependent we are in the 21st century. Many people feel ‘powerless’ to make social change. This is an idea we are challenging today. Small kind actions can make a big difference and they add up – they matter. Think about a time when someone said something mean to you – how long did it impact you? Think next about a time someone said something kind that changed everything for you. And maybe they have no idea that what they said made such a big difference. This happens a lot. Your smallest action has an impact of some kind. The challenge is to be thoughtful and responsible about the kind of impact you want to have.

4. Let’s look at what YOU can do to support older adults who may be experiencing abuse or neglect
YOU Power applies to all situations everyday – let’s focus now on what you can do to support older adults who may be experiencing abuse or neglect.

5. Everyone has the right to be safe and free from abuse or neglect.
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
Everyone has the right to be safe and free
from abuse or neglect.
We have a shared responsibility to create safe, strong, healthy communities.
We start here with the non-negotiables: Everyone has the right to be safe and free from abuse or neglect.
We have a shared responsibility to promote respect for all members of our society and to work together to create safe, strong, healthy communities. Everyone has a role to play, and we need every person to make their unique contribution.

6. What Is Ageism? You’re too old. Ageism is a factor in abuse.
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
What Is Ageism?
Ageism is a factor in abuse.
It is discrimination against older adults because they are older.
You’re too old.
Let’s talk about ageism. Ageism is the term used to describe attitudes and beliefs that cause people to treat older adults as if they were less important or less valued because they are older. These attitudes are a factor in abusive situations because they allow people to believe that they have the right to ignore or control the older adult.

7. We all have ageist attitudes.
Ageism happens when you make up your mind about what a group of people are like because of their age.
We all have ageist attitudes.
Have you ever thought to yourself – kids today spend too much time on computers? Or, have you followed behind a slow driver and thought – it must be an old person. These are examples of ageism because they make a general statement about all kids or all older adults that can’t possibly be true. We all have ageist attitudes. Anytime you hear yourself say “those people” or “they always/never” – try to hear the generalization you are making as a stereotype that does a disservice to individuals and that contributes to perpetuating the isms (ageism, racism, sexism etc). Stereotyping is very common and we have to make an effort to recognize it in ourselves first.

8. What Is Abuse of Older Adults?
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
What Is Abuse of Older Adults?
Harm caused to older adults by someone who limits or controls their rights and freedoms.
The older adults are unable to freely make choices because they are afraid of being hurt, humiliated, left alone or of the relationship ending.
What is abuse?
There is a lot of discussion about the definition of elder abuse as there is currently no single agreed-upon definition. There is also disagreement about what to call it as the term ‘elder’ means different things to different groups. For this presentation, we are talking about abuse that happens to older adults.
The World Health Organization defines abuse of older adults as “a single or repeated act, or lack of appropriate action, occurring within any relationship where there is an expectation of trust, which causes harm or distress to an older person."
While the universal definition may be undecided, there are specific qualities that can help us identify abuse. (Read the slide.)

9. What Is Abuse of Older Adults?
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
What Is Abuse of Older Adults?
Abuse is NOT just impolite or rude behaviour.
It IS abuse when one person uses power or influence to take advantage of, or to control the older adult.
Neglect of older adults who cannot manage on their own is also abuse.
An abusive relationship is different from situations where two people are in conflict with each other. These people may do things to hurt each other, they may be abusive in their behaviour toward each other and their fights can escalate to violence. However, both people have power in the relationship. One person does not live in fear of the other. Their rights and freedoms are not oppressed. Both parties are able to make choices about what happens next. People need help and support in these situations, but they are not ‘being’ abused in the way we are going to focus on in this presentation where abusive tactics are used by one person, deliberately or unintentionally, to maintain power over another person in a way that controls their movements and choices.

10. What Is Abuse of Older Adults?
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
What Is Abuse of Older Adults?
Abuse is misuse of power.
It can make the person experiencing it
feel small, alone and powerless.
Abuse is an abuse of power of some kind. It can make a person feel small, alone and powerless. Victims sometimes live in fear every day.

11. It can be raging and terrifying
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
What Is Abusive Behaviour?
It can be raging and terrifying
verbal, physical , financial,
sexual , spiritual abuse
…neglect too
Abuse is not just physical violence. It can also be verbal, emotional, financial, sexual or spiritual
See Government of Canada website -

12. What Is Abusive Behaviour?
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
What Is Abusive Behaviour?
I may control your every move!!!
And your money too!!!
Or it can be
more subtle and hard to see.
Abusive behaviour can be obvious, or it can be really subtle and hard to see. Abuse happens along a continuum of violence.

13. Warning Signs If I tell you I am being abused—believe me.
I stop attending social events or church.
I become depressed and withdrawn or fearful.
Signs of neglect such as no food in the house.
Someone suddenly moves in with me.
These are warning signs that we want everyone to be able to recognize. A warning sign does not automatically mean abuse is happening – don’t jump to conclusions. A warning sign should flag your attention, look more closely, ask questions.
My phone is cut off, or things start disappearing from my house.
I have injuries
I can’t explain.

14. Warning Signs – Abusive Behaviour
Blaming the older adult:
You make me so mad. It’s your fault I pushed you!
A strong sense of entitlement:
It will be my money someday. You owe me.
Treating the older adult like a child:
Do what I tell you!
Arguments and name calling
Leaving a dependent person alone for long periods of time
Other warning signs of abusive behaviour and things people may say to justify their behaviour.
Not an exhaustive list.

15. Why Are Some People More at Risk?
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
Why Are Some People More at Risk?
People who are abused are often isolated.
Isolation is often a factor in abusive relationships. Everyone in and around an abusive relationship can be isolated. As bystanders, we can feel isolated, unsure about what to do and afraid of making a mistake. We are alone with our fears and concerns. For the people caught in an abusive relationship, as the violence escalates, which it often does, the isolation becomes deeper and more profound.

16. Why Are Some People More at Risk?
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
Why Are Some People More at Risk?
People who are abused are often isolated.
I may be isolated
because of my culture
or language.
The person abusing
me might keep me
away from people who
can help.
As abuse escalates
I become more
and more isolated.

17. There Are Other Risk Factors Too…
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
There Are Other Risk Factors Too…
You are more at risk if you live with someone.
Addictions sometimes play a role in abuse.
Depression and other mental health issues
Living with someone who
is dependent
on you
Cognitive impairment

18. Who behaves abusively toward older adults?
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
Who behaves abusively toward
older adults?
Not monsters but people we know…
People who are abusive can be charming, well-liked leaders of their communities in public, and violent, cruel offenders behind closed doors. The violence is targeted at a specific person, the older adult. The abuse can happen infrequently or every day. When violence is used to control or dominate another person, it is abusive behaviour.

19. Who behaves abusively toward older adults?
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
Who behaves abusively toward
older adults?
Most often, it is family members …adult children or grandchildren.
People who behave abusively can also be other relatives or friends, paid/unpaid caregivers, landlords, financial advisors or anyone in a position of power, authority or trust.
Stats Canada

20. People who experience abuse need support
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
People who experience abuse need support
People who behave abusively are accountable for their actions (but may not recognize it as abusive behaviour – especially family)
Neighbours, friends and family
members can make a difference.
What you can do…
We want to find ways to help everyone involved in abusive relationships. The focus of the campaign is to support the bystanders who often know that abuse is happening but don’t know what to do about it.
When people have trouble in their relationships, you may be the neighbour, friend or family member who can make a positive difference. If you are concerned that an older adult in your life may be experiencing abuse, this information can help you to recognize the warning signs and then to know what to do.

21. Watch for warning signs
What makes you feel uncomfortable?
CAST
Mother (Carla) – Maria Vacratsis
Son (Michael) – Carlos Diaz
Michael’ daughter – Amerah Atiyeh
Friend (Francesca) Jocelyn Zucco
Direct participants to watch for the warning signs and things that make them feel uncomfortable.
Watch for warning signs

23. What Did You See? Is it abuse? What are the warning signs?
What are the risk factors?
What tips the power balance?
Have participants consult the brochure: Take them to the section: “How you can identify abuse…”
In small groups of 2 or 3: Look at the warning signs and warning signs of controlling behaviour. Give a few minutes for this.
Debrief – have them call out the signs and risk factors in the larger group. Build on observations by adding from the comprehensive analysis of the scene below. The information provides solid background for you, the presenter – pick a few points to highlight for participants that address the questions on the slide. Be sure to talk about the power imbalance – and how ageism contributes to the imbalance.
Is there abuse happening? If so, what kind?
Financial abuse. Using mothers bank card without her knowledge for his expenses – this is a crime. He has no legal authority to access her money, use her bank card, open her mail for purpose of seeking funds.
Emotional abuse. Moving her to the basement without asking. 
Violation of Rights – opening her mail, moving her things downstairs
What is the abusive behaviour?
Controlling behaviour:
Disregard for the fact that it is Carla’s house - not allowing Carla to freely make decisions and choices, imposing his preferences
Moving her downstairs
Disregard for her privacy
Reading her mail
A strong sense of entitlement
Treating Carla like a child – “mom – what are you doing?!”
What are the risk factors?
Michael is dependent upon Carla and he is unemployed
They are living together
He suffers from depression
Alcohol abuse increases risk
This is an escalating situation
What are the ageist attitudes that are implicit in this scene?
Sense of entitlement on the part of the son and granddaughter – Carla is there to serve them / her assets are free to him
Tension between treating Carla like a child – moving her things without asking, ignoring her concerns and Michael behaving like a dependent child
Michael would likely not see himself as breaking the law, behaving abusively
Ageism and sexism are both present - sexism in the sense that women have less rights and are assumed to ‘serve’ the family
Amerah (granddaughter) also assumes that Carla is there to serve the family
Who has the power? What are the dynamics in the relationship that tilt it toward abuse?
Michael has the power – he assumes his mother will ‘mother’ him in his time of need – he demands that – Carla’s feelings don’t matter
He assumes that he can just use his mother’s assets without asking – he feels entitled
Carla’s concern for Michael erodes her power in the relationship because Michael takes advantage of it
Ageist assumptions that make Carla’s rights and wishes less important than those of Michael
What is the harm?
Michael is breaking the law by taking his mother’s money, using her bankcard
He is using up her resources
He is modeling disrespect to his daughter
He is undermining his relationship with his mother by treating her without regard for her wants and wishes as a person with equality

24. What Did You See? Warning signs Risk Factors Financial abuse
Emotional abuse
Risk Factors
Michael is dependent and unemployed
They are living together
He suffers from depression
Alcohol abuse increases risk
This is an escalating situation
Direct participants to look at the brochure (if available): Take them to the section: “How you can identify abuse…”
Financial abuse. Using mothers bank card without her knowledge for his expenses – this is a crime. He has no legal authority to access her money, use her bank card, open her mail for purpose of seeking funds.
Emotional abuse. Moving her to the basement without asking. 
Violation of Rights – opening her mail, moving her things downstairs
What is the abusive behaviour?
Controlling behaviour:
Disregard for the fact that it is Carla’s house - not allowing Carla to freely make decisions and choices, imposing his preferences
Moving her downstairs
Disregard for her privacy
Reading her mail
A strong sense of entitlement
Treating Carla like a child – “mom – what are you doing?!”
What are the risk factors?
Michael is dependent upon Carla and he is unemployed
They are living together
He suffers from depression
Alcohol abuse increases risk
This is an escalating situation
What are the ageist attitudes that are implicit in this scene?
Sense of entitlement on the part of the son and granddaughter – Carla is there to serve them / her assets are free to him
Tension between treating Carla like a child – moving her things without asking, ignoring her concerns and Michael behaving like a dependent child
Michael would likely not see himself as breaking the law, behaving abusively
Ageism and sexism are both present - sexism in the sense that women have less rights and are assumed to ‘serve’ the family
Amerah (granddaughter) also assumes that Carla is there to serve the family
Who has the power? What are the dynamics in the relationship that tilt it toward abuse?
Michael has the power – he assumes his mother will ‘mother’ him in his time of need – he demands that – Carla’s feelings don’t matter
He assumes that he can just use his mother’s assets without asking – he feels entitled
Carla’s concern for Michael erodes her power in the relationship because Michael takes advantage of it
Ageist assumptions that make Carla’s rights and wishes less important than those of Michael
What is the harm?
Michael is breaking the law by taking his mother’s money, using her bankcard
He is using up her resources
He is modeling disrespect to his daughter
He is undermining his relationship with his mother by treating her without regard for her wants and wishes as a person with equality

25. What Did You See? Abusive Behaviour Ageist Attitudes
Moving Carla downstairs
Taking or stealing her money
Disregard for her privacy
Reading her mail
Ageist Attitudes
Entitled to Mom’s money, home, time
Mom’s wants and needs are not important
What is the abusive behaviour?
Controlling behaviour:
Disregard for the fact that it is Carla’s house - not allowing Carla to freely make decisions and choices, imposing his preferences
Moving her downstairs
Disregard for her privacy
Reading her mail
A strong sense of entitlement
Treating Carla like a child – “mom – what are you doing?!”
What are the risk factors?
Michael is dependent upon Carla and he is unemployed
They are living together
He suffers from depression
Alcohol abuse increases risk
This is an escalating situation
What are the ageist attitudes that are implicit in this scene?
Sense of entitlement on the part of the son and granddaughter – Carla is there to serve them / her assets are free to him
Tension between treating Carla like a child – moving her things without asking, ignoring her concerns and Michael behaving like a dependent child
Michael would likely not see himself as breaking the law, behaving abusively
Ageism and sexism are both present - sexism in the sense that women have less rights and are assumed to ‘serve’ the family
Amerah (granddaughter) also assumes that Carla is there to serve the family
Who has the power? What are the dynamics in the relationship that tilt it toward abuse?
Michael has the power – he assumes his mother will ‘mother’ him in his time of need – he demands that – Carla’s feelings don’t matter
He assumes that he can just use his mother’s assets without asking – he feels entitled
Carla’s concern for Michael erodes her power in the relationship because Michael takes advantage of it
Ageist assumptions that make Carla’s rights and wishes less important than those of Michael
What is the harm?
Michael is breaking the law by taking his mother’s money, using her bankcard
He is using up her resources
He is modeling disrespect to his daughter
He is undermining his relationship with his mother by treating her without regard for her wants and wishes as a person with equality

26. Let’s Talk about Support
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
Let’s Talk about Support .

27. It’s a journey, learning to:
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
It’s a journey, learning to:
overcome your hesitation to help
be truly supportive (not controlling)
have a conversation with people you are concerned about … .
Learning how to respond safely and effectively is a journey. We have to overcome the hesitation to help and centuries of training to ‘mind your own business’. We have to learn how to be supportive and not controlling ourselves – it is not the role of the bystander to ‘solve’ abuse for someone else. We also want to learn how to have the conversation with people we are worried about.

28. For your journey to support: SNCit!
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
For your journey to support: SNCit!
3. CHECK it!
2. NAME it!
1. SEE it!
For your journey – we have created a conversation framework for you to take-away. These are three things that we believe everyone can do. See it!—Name it!—Check it! SNCit
The overall strategy is to interrupt the isolation that exists in all abusive relationships by providing practical tools and tips for the people closest to older adults who may be experiencing abuse.

29. SNCit! SEE it! “It’s not right!” Notice when you feel uncomfortable.
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
SNCit!
SEE it! “It’s not right!”
Notice when you feel uncomfortable.
Learn about abuse.
Recognize the warning signs.
Three things everyone can do
1. See it! “It’s not right!”
Learn about abuse so that you can recognize the different warning signs. Abuse can be physical, but it can also be psychological, sexual, spiritual, financial, or neglect. The warning signs are not always obvious.
It is easy to ignore warning signs and to tell yourself that you must be mistaken or that it’s “not that bad” because it’s “only” one warning sign. Trust your instincts when something makes you feel uncomfortable. Pay attention to red flags that could be warning signs.
A warning sign is like seeing the tip of an iceberg; there is likely much more going on below the surface.
Some people think abuse is “normal” or understandable. Abuse is never acceptable and it always causes harm.
When you see a warning sign, say to yourself, “It’s not right!” This will help you move to the next step.

30. Don’t jump to conclusions or make judgements!
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
SNCit!
2. NAME it!
“Michael moved you downstairs…”
Overcome your hesitation to help.
Name the warning signs – just the facts!
Name your concern: “I’m worried about you…”
Talk to the older adult or someone you trust.
2. Name it! What are the warning signs? Name your concern, “I’m worried about you.”
Once you recognize abuse, you may feel uncertain about becoming involved. You are not alone. It is understandable to hesitate, but you will need to overcome your hesitation to interrupt the isolation that Carla is experiencing. Abuse does not go away without help.
If it is safe, talk to the person who you think is being abused—wait for a time when you are alone and not likely to be interrupted. Approach the person with care and concern: “Michael moved you downstairs.” It is just a fact, without any judgment.
Describe just the facts of what you witness. For example:
Do say: “I saw him take money from your wallet.”
Don’t use judgmental language: “I saw him stealing money from your wallet.”
Remember—just the facts.
Find support for yourself. Talk to someone you trust about what to do next or consult a professional.
Don’t jump to conclusions or make judgements!

31. SNCit! 3. CHECK it! “Are you ok? What can I do to help?”
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
SNCit!
3. CHECK it!
“Are you ok? What can I do to help?” .
Check your assumptions – ask questions!
Check with the person you are worried for
Check for danger
Call 911 / police in an emergency
Trust your instincts
3. Check it! “Are you ok? What can I do to help?”
We want everyone to pay attention and take warning signs seriously. And, a warning sign does not automatically mean that abuse is happening. Don’t jump to conclusions. If you see a warning sign, ask questions; don’t assume you know what is happening.
If possible, check with the person you think is being abused first. The way to do that is with a SNCit conversation.
Check for immediate danger. If you think the situation is dangerous, call 911.
If you have questions and want to speak to police, ask to speak to an officer who has been trained in domestic or family violence.

32. The goal is to open the door for support
The goal of SNCit is to open the door for support.
What will happen next?

33. Francesca is Carla’s friend
Watch for the impact on Carla

35. What will happen next? Door open or closed?
Is the door open for Carla? How do you know?
What will happen next?

36. Is Francesca blaming Carla?
(Response 1 is always the ‘not’ supportive scenario).
How many people understand Francesca’s response? – we can acknowledge that it is understandable to feel upset by what is happening and to want it to stop. You can see the impact as Carla ‘closes’ down, you can see it in her face and body language. But if Francesca blames Carla for ‘allowing’ the abuse to happen, then she is blaming her for her son’s behaviour. This is victim-blaming and it happens a lot. Blaming Carla will cause more hurt for Carla and for their friendship. It’s not right to blame Carla for her son’s behaviour. It is never the victim’s fault. Remember that we talked about things that cause the power imbalance in the relationship that puts Carla at a disadvantage (ageist attitudes, concern for her son etc.)
Is Francesca blaming Carla?
What will happen next?

37. Watch for the impact on Carla
Do you think that Francesca genuinely cares about her friend and wants to help?
Let me try that again
Do you think that Francesca genuinely cares about her friend and wants to help? If Francesca wants to be supportive, she has to change her response to open the door for Carla.
Direct participants to watch for the impact on Carla as Francesca tries again.
Watch for the impact on Carla

38. Response 2 is supportive
Response 2 is supportive. Ask for a thumbs up – do people believe the door is open? How did Francesca do in creating a supportive conversation? Remember our goal is to ‘be with’ Carla, not to ‘solve it’ for Carla. What does she do that allows her to be supportive to Carla?

39. What does Francesca do?
She sees the disorder in Carla’s house and asks a question
She names her concern – “I’m worried about you”
She listens without judgement
She makes contact with Carla
She checks and asks a question
Are you ok?
It is important to notice WHAT Francesca does, these are the mechanics: read the list

40. How to ‘Handle’ SNCit Good Questions Are you ok?
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
How to ‘Handle’ SNCit
Good Questions
Are you ok?
You don’t have to ‘solve’ another person’s problems!
…instead you can be their strong support!
Is someone hurting you ?
Safety
Respect
Can I help?
Responding to abuse does not mean that you have to solve another person’s problems. There are two handles for a SNCit conversation – safety and respect. Ask yourself, is it safe? Am I being respectful?
Use both handles of
safety and respect!

41. What will happen next? What will happen next?
We don’t know what will happen next, but we can see from Carla’s response that she seems to appreciate the concern. She may not want to talk anymore about what is happening and that has to be ok with Francesca. Carla’s life if not a problem for Francesca to solve.
What will happen next?
What will happen next?

42. I decide what happens next
To move from doing ‘for and to’ others – solving their problems…there is a shift from ‘doing’ to ‘responding’. This means you have to pay attention to the person you want to support. Learn to look for the impact of your words and approach – are you opening the door for support? ….or closing it? People’s faces and body language will tell you a lot – if you pay attention.
Will Carla confide in her friend? It seems possible. That is a good outcome for Francesca. The door is open. Even if Carla does not go through the door, Francesca can feel good about trying and about leaving the door open. Things may happen in Carla’s time that take longer. Francesca should respect that. If she sees new warning signs - she can SNCit again.
What will happen next?
What will happen next?

43. What else does Francesca do?
She sees the disorder and asks a question
She names her concern – “I’m worried about you”
She listens without judgement
She makes contact with Carla
She asks a question
One other thing that Francesca does
She interrupts the isolation

44. Isolation
Isolation is a risk factor for abuse and is also a result of abuse that becomes deeper and more profound as the abuse escalates
ABUSE
ISOLATION
ABUSE
ISOLATION
ABUSE
ISOLATION
ABUSE
In most cases of abuse, without an interruption to the pattern or dynamic, it will escalate – increasing in frequency and/or severity. As the abuse increases, so to does the isolation so that the person/ people perpetrating the abuse and the person experiencing it become more and more alone in the situation.
ABUSE
ISOLATION
ISOLATION

45. A Simple Strategy To Increase Safety and Provide Support
If isolation is always present in abuse, then interrupting the isolation is a strategy to reduce or eliminate it. We do this to provide support and increase safety. A SNCit conversation is one way to interrupt isolation.
Reduce or Eliminate Isolation

46. Reduce or Eliminate Isolation …wherever it occurs
It isn’t just the people experiencing or causing abuse who are isolated…
Neighbours, friends and family members become isolated too – sitting alone with their fears and concerns
If we are going to interrupt isolation – wherever it occurs – then we can start with ourselves and the way we can become isolated with our fears and concerns when abuse is happening to someone we care about.

47. SNCit with Safety and Respect
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
SNCit with Safety and Respect
Find a time when the person acting abusively
is not present.
Listen carefully
Respect if he/she doesn’t
want to talk about it—
leave the door open.
You will want to wait for a time when the person behaving abusively is not present—this is important for safety.
In any SNCit conversation, listen carefully, ask questions to help open the door. Don’t expect that the person will tell you the first time. It is really hard to admit you are being abused. There is often a lot of shame in admitting it. If the person does start to talk, give them the time it takes to tell their story. It may not happen all at once.
If the older adult says there is no abuse happening—don’t press. There is no harm in voicing your concern, telling what you saw or heard without judgment and then simply saying, “I’m here if you need me.”
Your goal is to keep the door open. If not today, then maybe later, or maybe there really is no abuse. The last thing you want to do is close the door on future conversations.

48. SNCit - Start with heart
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
SNCit - Start with heart
Approach the older adult from a place
of genuine concern and care…
I am worried
about you…
You don’t have to have it all figured out to talk to the person you are concerned about. You don’t have to know what to do; in fact, it is really up to the older adult to figure out what they want to do. Your role is more of a supporting role – you want to ‘be with’ the person. If you just start from the place of care and concern, you will be more successful in opening the way for them to disclose to you what is happening. “I saw something happen that made me concerned. I am worried about you...” These are good things to say.

49. The Journey Steps – SNCit!
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
The Journey Steps – SNCit!
1. SEE it! Notice when
Something makes you feel not right
2. NAME it! Talk to someone—the older adult first:
What are the warning signs? …name your concern
3. CHECK it! Ask questions:
“Are you ok?”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Summarize:
The journey to SNCit starts with heart (note: the heart in the picture teeters).
1. See it! – Pay attention when something makes you uncomfortable, learn the warning signs so that you can say, “It’s not right!”
2. Name it! – Overcome your hesitation to help. Don’t sit alone, talk to someone when you see something that isn’t right. “I saw or heard this warning sign….I am concerned.” Remember that a warning sign does not automatically mean abuse – you have to check it!
3. Check it! – Ask questions. “Are you ok?”
In any intervention, hold onto the two handles: safety and respect. Is it safe? Is my action respectful?
See it - Name it - Check it = SNCit!

50. Be Prepared for Disclosures
If someone tells you they are being abused, here are some helpful things you can say:
I care about you
I believe you
It’s not your fault
I’m worried about your safety
I will support you and your decisions
Be prepared to support a disclosure.

51. Local Resources – finding help
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
Local Resources – finding help
Note to Facilitators:
On this slide you can insert local contact information for services and organizations that support seniors in your area.

52. You Power - How It Works We are all part of a community You
Faith groups
Relatives
You
Neighbours
Friends
Change happens in everyday ways. We want to engage the power and potential of relationships to make change in the lives of people who are experiencing abuse.
It’s Not Right! Neigbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults has been created to support you in taking safe and effective action when abuse is happening to someone you care about. If we just use our existing networks of relationships to spread the information and to generate discussion on this complex issue with people we know and care about—we will achieve our goals.
We all have a role to play in creating the safe, supportive communities that we all want to live and grow old in.
Social groups
Professionals

53. Everything you do has an impact …it makes a difference
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
Everything you do has an impact
…it makes a difference
You
We are all connected. You may never know how that little gesture of kindness you make toward someone might make a difference. For every person who takes action of any kind—it is impossible to know how far the information will travel and who will be affected.
Tell someone about the campaign, carry the brochure, know what the resources are in your community. Every action adds up to something greater than any one of us can achieve alone—together we make positive change in our communities that recognizes each person’s basic human right to live free from abuse of any kind.
What kind of difference
do you want to make?

54. Final Thoughts YOU have the Power
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
Final Thoughts
YOU
have the Power
You don’t have to be a hero or fix the situation.
Caring about the people around us, paying attention to them when there are signs
of trouble and responding appropriately
can make a big difference.
Little things count.