by Allan L. Beane, Ph.D.

Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. www.bullyfree.com abeane@bullyfree.com

by Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. www.bullyfree.com abeane@bullyfree.com
The Bully Free Program ---- On-the-Spot Responding to Bullying (For School Personnel) by Allan L. Beane, Ph.D.

Terminology Throughout this presentation, I use the terms “his,” “her,” “he” and “she” inter-changeable for ease of communication. For ease of communication, I sometimes use the terms “bully” and “victim.” I prefer using “students who bully” and “students who are bullied.” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Training Goals To discuss the eight steps to on-the-spot responding to bullying. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 4

General Responsibilities When Responding to Bullying
Promptly investigate all rumors and reports of bullying. Follow established discipline plans, policies, and procedures. Respond immediately and consistently to all observations of bullying. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 5

Don’t re-victimize the victim: Don’t blame the bullied student.
Don’t joke around about the bullying. Don’t do anything that further isolates or stigmatizes the victim. Don’t ask the victim and bully to “work it out.” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 6

Maintain open communication lines with the bullied student, students who bully, the bully’s helpers, and the bystanders, as well as the parents. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 7

Note: The following procedure is meant to be a guide and framework for immediately responding to bullying. All of the steps or the sequence of the steps may not be appropriate for all situations, settings, or individuals. Therefore, use your professional judgment. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Eight Steps to On-the-Spot Responding (Response Acronym)
S - Stop and Take Control. (Step 1) C - Confront the Bully or Bullies. (Step 2) A - Apply Emotional Support to Victim. (Step 3) T - Teachable Moment for Bystanders. (Step 4) C - Consequences Applied. (Step 5) A - Area Supervised - if necessary remain in the area. (Step 6) S - Safety (Protection) Plan for Victim. (Step 7) A - Approved Paperwork Completed and Parents Contacted, if necessary. (Step 8) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 9

Step One of the Eight Steps to On-the-Spot Responding
S - Stop and Take Control. (Step 1) C - A - T - C - A - S - Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Step 1: (S) Stop and Take Control.
Immediately stop the bullying by taking control of the situation – no matter where you are with students. If you are transporting students, stop in a safe area and turn on the flasher. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 11

Scan the area to see who is involved.
Don’t shout, unless injuries are possible. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Approach the students and with a firm, calm, and matter-of-fact voice take control by making “I need you to ………” statements. The content of your statements will depend on where you are. Say to the student who bullies “I need you to take two steps back (or sit down), to be quiet, to listen to me, and to do as I say.” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 13

Say to the bystanders “I need you to take two steps back (or sit down), to be quiet, to listen to me, and to do as I say.” Say to the bullied student “I need you to take two steps back (or sit down), to be quiet, to listen to me, and to do as I say.” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

If possible, step between the bullied student and bully to block the bully’s eye contact with the victim. If they are fighting, do not step between them Obtain and maintain non-threatening eye contact with the bully and his helpers. Explain that it is your role and the role of all students to make sure everyone is treated right and feels safe. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 15

Six Important Don’ts Don’t touch or threaten the bully.
Don’t plead with the bully. Don’t tell the bully you are upset because of the way he is behaving. Don’t lecture the bully, especially in front of other students or adults. Bullies love an audience. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 16

Don’t be aggressive or angry, but be assertive
Don’t be aggressive or angry, but be assertive. You don’t want to trigger aggression in the bully, her helpers, and/or a bystander. Don’t ask the bullied student and the bully to meet at the same time with you or someone else to discuss what happened, unless the victim agrees to do so. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Recall and Reflect on Step 1
(S – Stop the Bullying by Taking Control of the Situation) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 18

Step Two of the Eight Steps to On-the-Spot Responding
S - Stop and Take Control. (Step 1) C - Confront the Bully or Bullies. (Step 2) A - T - C - S - Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 19

Step 2: (C) Confront the Bully or Bullies by
addressing their inappropriate behavior. (Note: Some school personnel have expressed a concern about confronting the bully and her helpers in front of other students, “because it would embarrass the bullied student.” They prefer to confront the bully in private. Others would confront them in front of other students because those students may be fearful they will be bullied and would be pleased to see an adult hold the bullies accountable for their behavior. Therefore, use your professional judgment.) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 20

Tell them you can’t ignore their behavior.
Let the bully and her helpers know you saw what they did and they broke the rules. Tell them you can’t ignore their behavior. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Tell them the action you must take is very clear.
Tell them they need to obey the rules. Make an “I need you to . . .” statement. Tell them the action you must take is very clear. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Example “I heard you discussing your plans to reject Cindy and I saw you shun her when she approached you. That is against our rules and I can’t ignore it. I need you to obey our rules. The action I must take is very clear.” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

If the bully stops, compliment her for stopping.
If the bully doesn’t stop mistreating the person: Do not get angry, do not respond aggressively, and do not lecture the bully. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 24

With a firm, calm, and matter-of-fact voice command the bully or bullies (by name) to stop engaging in their inappropriate behavior. Don’t ASK the bully to stop. For example, don’t say “Susan, will you please stop calling her names and listen to me?” Specify what you want them to do by using an “I need you to . . .” statement. For example: Example: “Susan, I need you to stop calling her names, to be quiet, to listen to me, and to do as I say.” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 25

If necessary, use the Broken Record Rule.
Repeat your command in a firm, calm, and controlled manner like a broken record until you get a positive response. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Example Read the following slide. Note: What Mary (The Bully) says is
white and underlined and what the adult says is yellow and is not underlined. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

“Mary, I need you to stop calling her
names, to be quiet, to listen to me, and to do as I say.” “She’s such a fat pig.” “She’s such an idiot.” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

“Mary, I need you to stop calling her
names, to be quiet, to listen to me, and to do as I say.” (Mary obeys.) “Thank you Mary.” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

If the bully challenges your authority by continuing the mistreatment or by asking you questions, or by making inappropriate comments to you, consider the following guidelines which includes questions you should ask in a firm, calm, and matter-of-fact voice. If possible, frequently address the bully by name. Do not respond to the bully’s questions and inappropriate comments. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Ask questions, such as the following: (Sprick, R., & Colvin, G., 1992)
What would be a consequence for calling someone a hurtful name? Why do you think the rule against name-calling is important? Who do you believe is the person in charge here? What do you think would happen if someone decided to disobey me? Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Example Read the following slide. Note: What Mary (The Bully) says is
white and underlined and what the adult says is yellow and is not underlined. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

“Mary (address the bully by name), what
would be a consequence for calling someone a hurtful name?” “We do this all the time and nothing happens. Why should I listen to you? My parents told me to let them know if you do anything to upset me.” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

“Why do you think the rule against name- calling is important?”
“I didn’t know it was an important rule. Who says it’s important?” “Mary, who do you believe is the person in charge here?” (Mary doesn’t say anything.) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

“It looks like you have a choice to make.”
“What do you think would happen if someone decided to disobey me?” If the student doesn’t know the possible consequences, consider telling her - if such action will not provoke the bully. “It looks like you have a choice to make.” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

If the bully continues her power play, contact another adult for help.
Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 36

Recall and Reflect on Step 1 (S –Stop the Bullying by Taking Control of the Situation) and Step 2 (C – Confront the Bully or Bullies) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 37

Step Three of the Eight Steps to On-the-Spot Responding
S - Stop and Take Control. (Step 1) C - Confront the Bully or Bullies. (Step 2) A - Apply Emotional Support to Victim. (Step 3) T - C - A - S - Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 38

Step 3: (A) Apply Emotional Support to the
Victim if you feel it will not embarrass them. Be sensitive to the developmental level of the victim and his need to save face. In other words, don’t go overboard with your emotional support. It may be best for you or someone else to provide all or some of the emotional support in private. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 39

If you decide to immediately provide emotional support, consider telling the bully and his helpers to take seats far from each other, the victim, and the bystanders. Tell them to stay seated, not to look in your direction, and to be quiet. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

When you provide emotional support, tell the bullied student:
“I’m sorry you were mistreated.” “You don’t deserve it.” “I’m sure we can make it stop.” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 41

Step Four of the Eight Steps to On-the-Spot Responding
S - Stop and Take Control. (Step 1) C - Confront the Bully or Bullies. (Step 2) A - Apply Emotional Support to Victim. (Step 3) T - Teachable Moment for Bystanders. (Step 4) C - A - S - Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 42

Step 4: (T) Teachable Moment for
Bystanders (Optional: Gather the Facts) Tell the bystanders you observed their behavior. If they tried to help the victim, they should be complimented even if they were not successful. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 43

For example, they could have refused to: join in. laugh. ignore it.
If their response to the bullying was inappropriate, explain what they could have done: For example, they could have refused to: join in. laugh. ignore it. gather around. cheer for the bully. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

They could have: distracted the bully and his helpers by asking a question about something they are interested in, such as sports. helped the victim by using assertiveness strategies. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Assertiveness Strategies for Bystanders: If appropriate and if time permits, share one or more of the following assertiveness strategies bystanders can use. In many bullying situations, you will not have time for this. Hopefully the school system uses the Bully Free Lesson Plans ( that teach students to use assertiveness strategies. Note: Students can apply these strategies in many settings. They should be asked to discuss these strategies with their parents. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 46

General Assertiveness Strategies for Bystanders
Look confident by standing tall and holding your head up. Don’t appear hurt or angry. Keep your facial expressions neutral but serious. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Don’t run away, unless you are in danger.
Move closer to the bully, turn sideways, and have non-threatening eye contact. Maintain good balance by keeping your feet shoulder-width apart. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Don’t put your hands in your pockets.
Hold your arms beside your body. Don’t hold your arms up like you want to fight. Don’t put your hands in your pockets. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Specific Assertiveness Strategies for Bystanders
Note: After bystanders use any of the following strategies and if possible, they should start a conversation with the bullied student. If outside the classroom and if possible, they should ask the bullied student to walk off with them. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 51

Also, keep in mind that assertive strategies
may not be effective, especially if the student has not been properly taught to use them or if the student doesn’t use them correctly. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Make assertive statements for the victim. For example, say “Stop it
Make assertive statements for the victim. For example, say “Stop it!” with a serious face and serious but calm voice. Or say “This is a waste of Bobby’s (the bullied student) time and my time.” Fogging. Admit that you also have the characteristic the bully is using to tease someone. For example, say “You know, Bobby (the bullied student) and I both need to lose weight.” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Broken record. Repeat “What did you say. ” or “That’s your opinion
Broken record. Repeat “What did you say?” or “That’s your opinion.” or “So.” Confront the bully concerning her spreading rumors and lies about someone. Refuse to spread the lies and demand that the rumors stop. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Expose the ignorance of the bully when she is teasing someone because of their disability or medical condition. Reveal the facts about the student’s problem. Give the bully permission to tease. For example, say “Well, it’s okay to say what you want. It doesn’t bother Bobby (the bullied student) or me.” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 55

Use a sense of humor. Focus your humor on yourself and the bullied student. For example, if the bully says “You sure have big ears.” You could say “Jennifer (the bullied student) and I both have big ears, sometimes we feel like elephants. Don’t we Jennifer?” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 56

Make an asset of the characteristic used to tease someone
Make an asset of the characteristic used to tease someone. For example, if the bully makes fun of someone for not having hair because of cancer treatments, you could say “Well, I guess _______ ______ (a famous popular person) and Bobby (the bullied student) look alike, they both don’t have a lot of hair. I wish I looked like Bobby.” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 57

They could have: distracted the bully and his helpers by asking a question about something they are interested in, such as sports. helped the victim by using assertiveness strategies. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Option #1: Immediately gather the facts.
Only ask the bystanders to describe what happened if the bullying is serious enough that you need to immediately document the facts. Therefore, you have two options: Option #1: Immediately gather the facts. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Option #2: Note the names of the students, but do not tell them you or someone else will interview them later. They should be interviewed (ASAP) one immediately after the other in order to gather their perceptions of the facts. Don’t give them time to discuss what they should and should not tell you. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 60

Reporting is not tattling or ratting on someone.
In a quiet voice, explain to the bystanders the importance of telling an adult when they or someone else are mistreated. Reporting is not tattling or ratting on someone. It’s what a good person should do. It’s accepting your responsibility to promote peace and safety. It’s what you would want someone to do for you if you were bullied. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 61

Recall and Reflect on Steps 1-4

Step Five and Six of the Eight Steps to On-the-Spot Responding
S - Stop and Take Control. (Step 1) C - Confront the Bully or Bullies. (Step 2) A - Apply Emotional Support to Victim. (Step 3) T - Teachable Moment for Bystanders. (Step 4) C - Consequences Applied. (Step 5) A - Area Supervised - if necessary remain in the area. (Step 6) S - A - Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 63

Step 5: (C) Consequences Applied. If
possible, immediately apply consequences or make sure they are applied as soon as possible. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 64

If the behavior warrants more than a verbal reprimand and warning, let the bully know there will be or could be additional consequences. The consequences you select may depend on the behavior and the number of times you have seen the student engage in bullying behavior. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 65

Resist the temptation to minimize the consequence because you feel the behavior is less hurtful than other bullying behavior. As much as possible, the consequences should be fair, logical, and connected to the offense. For example, if a student is out of his assigned seat and bullies someone, he could be reassigned a seat for a few weeks or longer. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 66

Do not ask the bully, his helpers, and the bullied student to “work it out.” This can re-traumatize the bullied student and generally doesn’t help. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 67

Some possible consequences are:
Bully receives a verbal reprimand, a warning, and the behavior is recorded. Bully is permanently reassigned a different seat, a good distance from his helpers and from the bullied student. (Note: Do not ask the victim to move to a different location, unless he desires to move.) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Bully must apologize in writing to the bullied student and ask forgiveness. The bully could be required to include one positive comment about the bullied student. Usually we don’t ask the bully and his helpers to verbally apologize. When they do, it’s often not sincere. However, you may be able to lead them to apologize by asking “What can you do to make things better?” If they say “Apologize,” ask them to verbally apologize. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Bully must replace destroyed, damaged, or lost items.
Bully must call her parents and report his behavior, if appropriate. You may not want to do this if the parents are abusive. Follow the district’s discipline policy and procedures relative to notifying the parents. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Bully and his helpers sent to detention.
Bully and his helpers sent to Saturday School. The bully, his helpers, and the bullied student are asked by the principal to sign a Bully Free No Contact Contract. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Bully Free No Contract Contact
We agree not to have contact with one another in the school and on the bus. “Contact” means we will do our best not to look at each other, not to talk to one another, not to make gestures, facial expressions, and/or make any sounds intended for one another. We will not encourage anyone to mistreat the other. We will do our best to avoid one another for ______weeks. If we engage in any of the above behavior, we understand there will be significant consequences. Signatures of Students: _____________________________________ Signatures of Principal:_______________________________________________________ (Note: Send a copy to the principal who will send copies to the parents, the appropriate teachers, and the Director of Transportation.) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Step 6: (A) Area Supervised. If possible,
remain close to the involved students until they have cooled down. Especially when there has been physical bullying. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 75

Step Seven and Eight of the Eight Steps to On-the-Spot Responding
S - Stop and Take Control. (Step 1) C - Confront the Bully or Bullies. (Step 2) A - Apply Emotional Support to Victim. (Step 3) T - Teachable Moment for Bystanders. (Step 4) C - Consequences Applied. (Step 5) A - Area Supervised - if necessary remain in the area. (Step 6) S - Safety (Protection) Plan for Victim. (Step 7) A - Approved Paperwork Completed and Parents Contacted, if necessary. (Step 8) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Step 7: (S) Safety (Protection) Plan. Meet or ask someone to meet ASAP
privately with the bullied student and determine the extent of the mistreatment and to write a Safety (Protection) Plan. Whoever meets with the student should adhere to the following guidelines. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Find and schedule a private location for the interview, one without windows, so other students cannot see the student meeting with you or whoever is interviewing the student. If appropriate, ask a colleague to observe the meeting and help you record information. If the student doesn’t know you, introduce yourself and tell them your position at the school. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

“I’m sorry you were mistreated.” “You don’t deserve it.”
If not applied earlier, apply emotional support to the bullied student by saying: “I’m sorry you were mistreated.” “You don’t deserve it.” “I’m sure we can make it stop.” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Be sensitive to the stress level of the bullied student.
Encourage the bullied student to express her emotions. Be an active listener. Voice pleasure that the bullied student (or someone else) told you or someone about the bullying. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Do not make the bullied student feel she is being interrogated, but ask the following questions and record her answers. Mention that you would like to hear what happened from his or her point of view: “Who was involved?” “What was said and done by the bully and others?” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

“Who were the bystanders and what did they say and do?”
“What happened or usually happens immediately before the bullying occurs?” “Who were the bystanders and what did they say and do?” “Did you or anyone else get physically hurt?” “Did your property or anyone else’s property get damaged or stolen? If so, please explain.” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

“When does the bullying occur?” “Where does it happen?”
“Was there adult supervision? If so, who was it?” “What happened or usually happens after the bullying?” “Who has been told about the bullying and what have they done (if anything)?” “How long has this been occurring?” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Be careful about asking the student why she is being bullied
Be careful about asking the student why she is being bullied. If you ask this question too soon, the student may not share everything with you or may not tell the truth. And sometimes the victim does not know why he or she is bullied. Ask the bullied student to immediately report when he or she is bullied or sees others bullied. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Tell the student you want to write a Safety (Protection) Plan, but make sure the student understands she is not expected to deal with bullying alone. It’s not just her problem. Bullying is an adult problem. It’s your problem, the parent’s problem, and the problem of other students. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Bullying is an adult problem.
Tell the student you want to write a Safety (Protection) Plan, but make sure the student understands she is not expected to deal with bullying alone. It’s not just her problem. Bullying is an adult problem. It’s your problem, the parent’s problem, and the problem of other students. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Write a Safety (Protection) Plan for the student.
Some of the safety plan will depend on when and where the bullying is occurring and who is bullying the student. Ask the student what needs to be done to keep them safe until the bullying situation is investigated. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

If the student is bullied on the bus, tell the student to report it to the driver or some other adult she trusts. If she is bullied at school, ask her to select an adult at school to report to every day regarding how she was treated. Tell the student not to retaliate. Retaliation usually makes bullying worse and last longer. They also run the risk of getting seriously hurt or hurting the bully and getting into trouble. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Tell the student to stay calm and cool and avoid letting the bully know they are upset. The bully wants to upset her. Ask the student not to walk alone or go to unsupervised areas alone, if possible. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 90

Tell the student to avoid the bully when possible, especially places where the bully is known to hang out or where adult supervision is lacking. If she cannot avoid the bully, then she should at least try to keep her distance. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Tell the bullied student safety is more important than possessions.
Tell the bullied student to use her best judgment and follow her instincts. For example, if the bully wants something that belongs to her and it appears she could be harmed, she should give it up, then walk off with confidence, acting as if the bully didn’t hurt her. She should then report the mistreatment to a trusted adult. Tell the bullied student safety is more important than possessions. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 92

Ask the bullied student to keep the bully guessing where she is by not having a routine in and around the school and in the community. Ask the bullied student to give the supervising adult (bus driver, bus monitor, teacher) a secret visible signal when she is being mistreated. Tell the bullied student when she sees the bully walking toward her, walk over to an adult and start a conversation with them or walk into a crowd. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Explain that yelling can sometimes be effective when she yells what she wants the bully to stop doing. It should be a forceful assertive yell and not one that expresses hurt or helplessness. For example, she might yell, “Stop hitting me!” instead of saying “Leave me alone.” This will draw attention to the situation and exactly what is happening. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Make sure faculty and staff are told to increase their supervision of the bullied student, the bully, and the bully’s helpers. If appropriate, surround the bullied student with other students who will not bully them and may be assertive with the bully and her helpers. If appropriate, make sure an older student is asked to be the bullied student’s “Helper” or “Buddy” to supervise interactions of the student with others. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

If possible, make sure the bullied student doesn’t have to frequently walk past the student who bullies. If the student is bullied as she gets off the bus, entering the school, require the bully to be the last one off the bus. In the afternoon, require the bully to be the last one to get on the bus. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

If the student is bullied after a class in the halls, require the bully to be the last one to leave the classroom. Make sure the student who bullies and her helpers stay in their assigned or reassigned seats, away from each other and the bullied student. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Assertiveness Strategies for Victims: If appropriate, share with the bullied student one or more of the assertiveness strategies discussed earlier in this PowerPoint presentation. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 98

Note: Remember, bullied students can apply
these strategies anytime and any place. Ask them to discuss these strategies with their parents, a teacher, or a counselor. These skills may not be effective, especially if the student has not been taught to use them effectively or the student doesn’t use them appropriately. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

After a few days, meet with the bullied student to assess the effectiveness of the safety plan. Whenever possible, spend time with her, but do not smother the student with your attention. If video cameras are in the area where the bullying occurred, review the recordings. It is important to have the facts about what has happened. Sometimes students leave out critical information that affects your understanding of the incident. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Step 8: (A) Approved Paperwork and Parents Contacted, if necessary.
Document what happened. Complete a conduct report or if the district has a Bullying Situation Report Form, complete it. The following is an example of such a report form. Determine if the parents need to be called and who has permission to call the parents. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 101

Training Activity Discuss with the person next to you what each
letter of the Response Acronym means. S - (Step 1) C - (Step 2) A - (Step 3) T - (Step 4) C - (Step 5) A - (Step 6) S - (Step 7) A - (Step 8) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved 103

Reflection Questions Can you recall a bullying situation you have handled in the past? How you would handle it differently now? Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Prevent and Stop Bullying Now!
Bully Free Presentations for: Students Camp Counselors Scout Leaders School Personnel (Teachers, Counselors, Bus Drivers, Principals, etc.) School Resource Officers Youth Workers/Ministers Parents Workshops and Keynote Addresses Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Together We Can Make Schools and Buses Bully Free

I Dare You! I Challenge You!

by Allan L. Beane, Ph.D.

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