1. SIDS Mid-Atlantic Peer Contact Training

2. SIDS Peer Contacts Responsibilities of Peer Contacts Responsibilities of Peer Contacts Procedures for Peer Contacts Procedures for Peer Contacts Relationships between Peer Contacts and grieving families Relationships between Peer Contacts and grieving families Skills for referrals to professionals Skills for referrals to professionals Inappropriate Peer Contact relationships Inappropriate Peer Contact relationships Special needs Special needs

3. SIDS Peer Contacts WHAT DOES A PEER SUPPORTER DO? WHAT DOES A PEER SUPPORTER DO? Listening is the most important thing a peer supporter can do. Listening is the most important thing a peer supporter can do. Similar experiences may enable you to help the family in ways professionals may not. Similar experiences may enable you to help the family in ways professionals may not.

4. SIDS Peer Contacts A Parent Coordinator will give you the name and phone number of the parent you are to contact. The initial contact is made by you, preferably within 24 hours, either by phone, email or in-person visit. A Parent Coordinator will give you the name and phone number of the parent you are to contact. The initial contact is made by you, preferably within 24 hours, either by phone, email or in-person visit. If you feel you cannot be a Peer Supporter at the time you are contacted for whatever reason, that's fine. We'll call you again when an appropriate match arises. If you feel you cannot be a Peer Supporter at the time you are contacted for whatever reason, that's fine. We'll call you again when an appropriate match arises.

5. SIDS Peer Contacts WHAT DOES A PEER SUPPORTER DO? WHAT DOES A PEER SUPPORTER DO? Offer encouragement, support and information on local resources, literature, and other relevant information as needed. Offer encouragement, support and information on local resources, literature, and other relevant information as needed. Respect the confidentiality of the relationship. Respect the confidentiality of the relationship. Provide follow-up information regarding your contacts to the Parent Coordinator. Provide follow-up information regarding your contacts to the Parent Coordinator. Some parents need only one call from a Peer Supporter while other might need a few more. Sometimes lifelong friendships develop Some parents need only one call from a Peer Supporter while other might need a few more. Sometimes lifelong friendships develop

6. SIDS Peer Contacts WHAT A PEER SUPPORTER WHAT A PEER SUPPORTER DOES NOT DO DOES NOT DO A Peer Supporter does not give medical advice. A Peer Supporter does not give medical advice. A Peer Supporter is not a psychologist or social worker. If you are concerned about the parents safety or mental status, please let the Parent Coordinator or the Social Worker know. A Peer Supporter is not a psychologist or social worker. If you are concerned about the parents safety or mental status, please let the Parent Coordinator or the Social Worker know.

7. SIDS Peer Contacts Information about YOU Information about YOU Did you lose a baby? Did you lose a baby? Babys birth and death dates, gender Babys birth and death dates, gender Complications in pregnancy Complications in pregnancy Age, race, sex, religion, occupation, education Age, race, sex, religion, occupation, education Number and ages of surviving children Number and ages of surviving children

8. SIDS Peer Contacts Making the first phone call Making the first phone call Express condolences Express condolences Find out if the family wants a peer contact Find out if the family wants a peer contact Gather information about babys death: name, date of birth, date of death, circumstances of death Gather information about babys death: name, date of birth, date of death, circumstances of death Explain the peer contact procedure Explain the peer contact procedure Give the family referral information and contact information for the peer contact Give the family referral information and contact information for the peer contact

9. SIDS Peer Contacts Peer contacts may phone, make a home visit, email or meet the family in a restaurant or other location Peer contacts may phone, make a home visit, email or meet the family in a restaurant or other location A personal visit helps establish the level of contact A personal visit helps establish the level of contact

10. SIDS Peer Contacts Keep a record of your contact with families Keep a record of your contact with families Date of contact, name of family, address, phone, email Date of contact, name of family, address, phone, email Specifics of the babys death Specifics of the babys death Overview of matters discussed Overview of matters discussed Notations regarding status of family Notations regarding status of family

11. Peer Contacts Confidentiality is critical Confidentiality is critical Provide resource information to families for support groups, professional counseling, etc Provide resource information to families for support groups, professional counseling, etc If in doubt about familys mental health, have a policy for making an appropriate referral If in doubt about familys mental health, have a policy for making an appropriate referral

12. SIDS Peer Contacts Peer contacts support the families, they do not counsel Peer contacts support the families, they do not counsel Dont analyze family members behavior or feelings Dont analyze family members behavior or feelings Dont counsel or advise family members as to actions they should take Dont counsel or advise family members as to actions they should take Dont advocate on behalf of family members with legal, medical or social service officials. Dont advocate on behalf of family members with legal, medical or social service officials.

13. SIDS Peer Contacts Peer support means Peer support means Be an active listener Be an active listener Express interest without interrupting Express interest without interrupting Ask non threatening questions or offer comments to encourage family member to continue discussion Ask non threatening questions or offer comments to encourage family member to continue discussion

14. SIDS Peer Contacts Follow the family members lead Follow the family members lead Validate feelings Validate feelings Dont change the subject Dont change the subject Dont interject your experiences unless asked Dont interject your experiences unless asked Dont impose a time restriction on grief Dont impose a time restriction on grief Dont discuss the next tasks of grief until she indicates she is ready Dont discuss the next tasks of grief until she indicates she is ready

15. SIDS Peer Contacts Phrase suggestions in first or third person Phrase suggestions in first or third person First Person when my baby died, I felt better when I… First Person when my baby died, I felt better when I… Third person: One family said it helped… Third person: One family said it helped… Avoid second person: You should… You might want to… Avoid second person: You should… You might want to…

16. SIDS Peer Contacts Discuss irrevocable decisions and help the family member determine when a decision may be delayed Discuss irrevocable decisions and help the family member determine when a decision may be delayed Taking crib apart and storing it instead of giving it away Taking crib apart and storing it instead of giving it away Moving Moving Burial or cremation Burial or cremation

17. SIDS Peer Contacts Guide family members toward independence Guide family members toward independence Gradually decrease the frequency of your calls Gradually decrease the frequency of your calls Emphasize the positive progress they make Emphasize the positive progress they make Downplay your experience to place emphasis on their decision making Downplay your experience to place emphasis on their decision making Reassure them that they will continue to heal and one day life will seem better Reassure them that they will continue to heal and one day life will seem better

18. SIDS Peer Contacts Referrals to professional counseling Referrals to professional counseling Give families options Give families options Recommend counselors you trust Recommend counselors you trust For some families counseling carries a stigma For some families counseling carries a stigma

19. SIDS Peer Contacts Danger signs Danger signs Refer to professionals if a family member says things like: Refer to professionals if a family member says things like: Lifes not worth living without my baby, I just want to be with my baby Lifes not worth living without my baby, I just want to be with my baby If concerned, ask Are you considering suicide? Do you have a plan to kill yourself? If concerned, ask Are you considering suicide? Do you have a plan to kill yourself?

20. SIDS Peer Contacts Determine the degree of risk Determine the degree of risk Calm the person Calm the person Refer to coordinator or hotline Refer to coordinator or hotline