1. Leslea Helgeson SAFE HARBOR OF SHEBOYGAN COUNTY
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
Leslea Helgeson
SAFE HARBOR OF SHEBOYGAN COUNTY

2. SAFE HARBOR SERVICES Support Groups Shelter Legal Advocacy
TO SURVIVORS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT
Support Groups
Shelter
Legal Advocacy
Children’s Program
24 Hour Crisis Line and Crisis Intervention
Community Outreach
Referrals
Advocacy
Safety Plans
Support
Transitional Services
Education
Financial Assistance

3. WHAT IS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?
Based on Equality, Mutual Respect, Shared Responsibility, Commitment
BUT WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE ?
HONESTY
TRUST
SUPPORT
RESPECT
OPEN COMMUNICATION
FAIRNESS
AFFECTION
Not making excuses for you or your partner’s behaviors – admitting when you are wrong – keeping your word
Knowing your partner likes you – Being okay with your partner having friends
Wanting the best for your partner – Offering encouragement when necessary
Paying attention to your partner – Valuing your partner’s opinion – listening to your partner
Being able to express your feelings or opinions – knowing it’s okay to disagree
Accepting change – being willing to compromise – agreeing to disagree
Holding hands – asking before acting – respecting each other’s right to say no

4. WHAT KIND OF LOVE ARE YOU IN?
ROMANTIC LOVE
OBSESSIVE LOVE
 Everything seems perfect
 Exciting
 Lots of special time
together
 Changes to nurturing
or obsessive love over
time
 Wish for the other to grow and be happy
 Encourage other friends and separate activities
 Supportive
 Belief that you cannot live
without one another
 When not together, can feel
as if they are losing the
other person or that
they do not care
about them
 Risk for
becoming
abusive
NURTURING LOVE
What happens when one partner wants to break up in each of these types of love?
Developed by: Nebraska Domestic Violence Sexual Assault Coalition

5. HEALTHY BOUNDRIES
 Revealing yourself a little at a time, then checking to see how the other person responds to your sharing
 Noticing when someone else is displaying inappropriate behavior
 Clearly communicating your wants and needs
 Defining your truth as you see it
 Moving step by step into intimacy
 Maintaining personal values despite what others want
 You don’t need to be with your partner 24/7
 Staying focused on your growth
 Trusting your own decisions

6. WHAT ARE SOME BEHAVIORS THAT GET IN THE WAY OF HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS?
PEER PRESSURE
SEXUAL HARRASSMENT
PHYSICAL & SEXUAL ABUSE

7. PEER PRESSURE Drug Use Sex Alcohol Theft Smoking Daring Behavior
Refers to the influence exerted by a peer group in encouraging a person to change his or her attitudes, values, or behavior in order to conform to group norms.
Source: Wikipedia
Drug Use
Sex
Positive Peer Pressure
Negative Peer Pressure
Alcohol
Joining a sports team because your friends are
Not trying out for the school play because when you looked at the flyer, the “in crowd” gave you a funny look
Theft
Why is peer pressure so influential?
Companionship
Emotional Support
Smoking
Independence from Parents
Daring Behavior
Worthiness
Sense of Belonging

8. How to Combat Peer Pressure
Know yourself and your values
Be open with others about your values before pressured situations
Learn to say No
Be confident in yourself
Confide in people who share your values
Take pride in yourself and your decisions
Realize the outcomes and consequences of poor peer pressure choices

9. WILL BE SEXUALL HARRASSED AT SOME TIME IN THEIR SCHOOL LIFE
SEXUAL HARRASSMENT
81% Or
(8 OUT OF 10)
STUDENTS
WILL BE SEXUALL HARRASSED AT SOME TIME IN THEIR SCHOOL LIFE

10. SEXUAL HARRASSMENT IS THIS BEHAVIOR: Appropriate
Inappropriate but not Sexual Harassment
Sexual Harassment
Unsure

11. PHYSICAL ABUSE & SEXUAL ASSAULT
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE STATISTICS
An act of domestic violence occurs every 15 seconds in the US
70% of persons convicted of violent crimes come from violent homes
Only 1 out of 10 cases of domestic violence are reported
In Sheboygan County, 413 cases have been referred to Victim Witness this year
Each day 4 people are killed by their partners

12. PHYSICAL ABUSE & SEXUAL ASSAULT
SEXUAL ASSAULT STATISTICS
One forcible rape occurs every 5 minutes in the US
Over 84% of sexual assaults are unreported
9 out of 10 sexual assaults involve an acquaintance
1 in 4 females & 1 in 6 males are sexually assaulted during their lifetime

13. PHYSICAL ABUSE & SEXUAL ASSAULT
Is it Abuse?
Physical Abuse does not always cause injury of leave marks
Pushing or shoving
Being physically restrained
Biting, scratching, burning or choking
Pulling hair or ripping clothing
Throwing objects at you
Sexual Abuse in not just forced intercourse
Calling you sexually –degrading names
Insisting on touching you sexually when you did not want it
Forcing you to perform sexual acts with others or to watch others
Forcing you to perform sexual acts you did not want to perform
Forcing you to pose for sexual photographs

14. PHYSICAL ABUSE & SEXUAL ASSAULT
Signs someone you know might be being abused
He or she seems afraid of her partner or is always very anxious to please him or her
He or she has stopped seeing her friends or family, or cuts phone conversations short when her partner is in the room
His or her partner often criticizes her or humiliates her in front of other people
His or her partner often orders her about or makes all the decisions. He or she often talks about her partner’s‘ jealousy’, ‘bad temper’ or ‘possessiveness’
He or she has become anxious or depressed, has lost her confidence, or is unusually quiet
He or she has physical injuries (bruises, broken bones, sprains, cuts etc). He or she may give
unlikely explanations for physical injuries
After he or she has left the relationship, their partner is constantly calling, harassing, following, coming to his or her house or waiting outside
THESE ARE ONLY A FEW SIGNS. IF SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS IN AN ABUSIVE OR POTENTIALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, SAFE HARBOR CAN HELP.

15. QUESTIONS