1. REV. Dean Bucalos and Mark JOhnson Mission behind bars and Beyond
Types of Mentoring
REV. Dean Bucalos and Mark JOhnson
Mission behind bars and Beyond

2. What Are We Talking About
What’s a mentor?
Mentoring Returning Citizens
Types of mentors and mentoring
Qualities of Good Mentor
Concerns and considerations

3. What’s a mentor?
How would you define a mentor?

4. Definition of a Mentor
The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines a mentor as "a trusted counselor or guide“ or from the Oxford Dictionaries, “an experienced and trusted advisor.”
“Mentorship is the difference between exploring a dark cave without a flashlight and exploring a cave with an experienced guide who carries a torch.” David Parish

5. Mentoring Returning Citizens
Everyone is different
Some commonalities:
Institutionalized affected behavior
Wary of authority
Often victims themselves
Frequently, a history of drug or alcohol use or addiction
Many times, a history of mental illness or co-occurring conditions
Patterns of family dysfunctionality

6. What else? Some other commonalities:
Tendency to go back to familiar negative influences
Has operated out of an asocial set of rules; can be manipulative
Low threshold of frustration
Motivated by immediate gratification
Labeled at an early age
Struggles in school, frequently identified with special needs
Underdeveloped critical thinking skills

7. Why a mentor? Why mentoring for returning citizens?
Lack of healthy family support system and often no family support
Need to access and learn about resources in the community
Benefit of accountability
Advantage of having a healthy support network or guide
Develop positive social skills
Learn from healthy role models
Profit from caring, nurturing relationships

8. Types of mentors and mentoring
Beginning behind the bars and continuing beyond the bars
One on one mentoring
Trained returned citizen and returning citizen
Trained community member and returning citizen

9. Types of mentoring and mentors
Group mentoring
Successful and trained returned citizens and returning citizen
Trained community members and returning citizen
Trained community members, including a successful trained returned citizen (or more than one) and a returning citizen

10. Why training? Unique population with which to work
Can be frustrating and disappointing
Need for reasonable expectations
Understanding proper motivations for mentoring
Reality checks

11. Qualities of a Good Mentor

12. Characteristics of a Good Mentor

13. More Characteristics of a Good Mentor
Present and attentive Perceptive
Welcoming With a sense of humor
Resourceful Encouraging
Inspiring Lead by example
Supportive Kind

14. Ten Qualities of a Good Mentor
One: Is experienced and knowledgeable
Life experiences that can be shared
Offering insight, wisdom and awareness
Quality not quantity
Discerning what is helpful
Knows where to go for answers

15. Ten Qualities of a Good Mentor
Two: Possesses Emotional Intelligence
Definition: (Psychology) awareness of one's own emotions and moods and those of others, esp in managing people
Capacity to listen deeply
Ability to understand and get clarification
Confidence to know when not to force decisions
Discerning

16. Ten Qualities of a Good Mentor
Three: Understands how to be a facilitator
Definition: one that helps to bring about an outcome (as learning, productivity, or communication) by providing indirect or unobtrusive assistance, guidance
To be in shadows
To walk alongside
To be comfortable not being the protagonist of the story or the star of the show
A gentle guide
Ten Qualities of a Good Mentor

17. Ten Qualties of a Good Mentor
Four: Understands his or her role as a mentor
You are not in it for the credit of success or for kudos
Leaves one’s ego at the door
Knows what is expected of you
Has the ability to know when to step aside

18. Ten Qualties of Good Mentor
Five: Is honest
A no is often as good as a yes
Silence can be a gift
Affirmation is important when appropriate
Authenticity is the key
You are who you are
Comfortable in your own skin

19. Ten Qualities of a Good Mentor
Six: Can establish healthy boundaries
Equipping not enabling
Not a friend
Sets articulated and agreed upon boundaries
Knows own comfort levels
Consistent

20. Ten Qualities of a Good Mentor
Seven: Let’s it be
Complements but doesn’t control
Is humble (your advice will not always be taken or followed)
Doesn’t have to have it go your own way
Is self-confident
Flexible

21. Ten Qualties of a Good Mentor
Eight: Is interested in his or her mentee
Listens deeply
Asks thoughtful open-ended questions
Provokes a bit
Challenges when necessary
Cares all the time
Is non-judgmental and accepting

22. Ten Qualities of a Good Mentor
Nine: Is open-minded and compassionate
Open to new ideas, processes and practices
Understands that there may be more than one right answer
Treats the one you are mentoring with respect and dignity
Empathetic

23. Ten Qualities of a Good Mentor
Ten: Is willing to make a commitment
Successful mentoring takes time
A willingness to commit to the long-term
Relationships develop and grow richer over time
Begins where their mentee is
Ten Qualities of a Good Mentor

24. Concerns and Considerations or What a Mentor is Not
Someone who expects to change a person or a person’s behavior
Someone who expects a person to become more like him or her
A judge
A brainwasher: my way or the highway
A proselytizer
An enforcer
A parent
A pal

25. Mission Behind Bars and Beyond
Questions and Answers
For more information about how to be trained to be a mentor and work in a Nurture, Support or Accountability Group with a returning citizen, contact:
Rev. Dean Bucalos
Executive Director
Mission Behind Bars and Beyond
(502)