1. Dating and Courtship

2. Courtship
Allows people to ‘win’ the affection of those to whom they are attracted
Most societies have ‘rituals’ - men have to prove their ability to being able to provide and women be the ‘alluring’ and nurturing

3. In Canada?
Are there still courtship rituals in today’s modern Canadian society?

4. Early Canada
In early Canadians followed the British system – men had to leave ‘calling cards’ with families that they wished to visit
Young ladies and their mothers had ‘at homes’ where young men were invited to tea
Each young man was expected to compete for the young lady’s attention

5. Bundling
In agricultural communities, the practice of bundling occurred
Because of the distance between farms etc, afternoon visits were difficult, so families practiced ‘bundling’
The young couple were allowed to be tucked into bed together – with a board in between, in order to ‘get to know’ each other
However the result was that almost 1/3 of brides were pregnant on their wedding day!

6. Dating During the 2oth century, the concept of dating began
Young people would meet at church or community events, such as dances etc and went out initially in larger groups of friends
By the 1920s men began taking the initiative and asking women out and paying for the event
1930’s – the idea of ‘going out’ meant you were an exclusive couple but not necessarily discussing marriage

7. 1950s – Western idea of ‘romantic love’ – dating, falling ‘in love’ and then marriage
“Market experience perspective” – dating was effective because you could get to know the person , judge their character etc and then decide on the characteristics that you were looking for in a ‘mate’
Bernard Murnstein – individuals pass their dates through a series of ‘filters’ to screen out unacceptable partners and to select someonemre like themselves

8. Murstein’s Filter Theory
Bernard Murstein explained the relationship among dating, social homogamy, and social exchange as a multi-step process. He uses the analogy of ‘sifting’ to suggest that individuals pass their dates through a series of ‘filters’ to screen out unacceptable marriage partners. This process of filtering leads an individual to only let one acceptable partner through, which ultimately leads to marriage.

9. Field of Eligibles
Who is out there, the general population
Propinquity Filter
Who is close to us. An available group to choose from. (proximity )
Attraction Filter (Physical Attraction/Personality)
• Judgment based on appearance and individual characteristics

10. Homogamy Filter (Age, Race, Education, Socio-Economic Class, Religion)
• Judgment based on how similar these factors are to the individual
Compatibility Filter (Temperment, Attitudes and Values, Needs, Roles, Habits
• Judgment based on similarities of these more intangible qualities
Trial Filter (Cohabitation, Engagement)
• Statement of commitment here. Test of the compatibility of all previous filters.

11. Decision Filter
Final decision is made here to see if individual is the right choice
Marriage

12. So what does dating have to do with Marital Success?
According to Martin King Whyte, not much
He found no correlation between dating experience, length of dating, engagement, degree of premarital intimacy, and marital success
In dating, you have to decide yes or not on one person at a time
He found that marriages are slightly less successful with more dating experience – it increases an individual’s expectations and therefore it is more difficult to make a choice or feel ‘satisfied’ in a relationship

13. If Dating is not an indicator of marital success, what is?
Actually, love
Whyte found that being in love when you marry is the best indicator of marital success
The process of getting to know someone is increasingly, in our society, being combined with sexual intimacy before marriage
To the point that , if you think about Sternberg, the expression of passion through sexual activity precedes the development of intimacy and commitment to the relationship

14. The 21st Century courtship behaviour of Canadians have changed
Cohabitation and the delay in marriage are changing society’s norms
The idea of ‘being with someone’ seems to always have a sexual connotation or expectation of that happening
The text book speaks of a shift from ‘competing’ to win someone’s affection to being very selective about what the other has to offer
There is a much less formal pattern of courtship today – and it is a much more complicated process