1. Adult Sexual Relationships
Chapter 9

2. Dating Many different levels of commitment
Those with more free time (college students) tend to date more
Traditional dating has been replaced by more casual dating, with less chaperoned time
It is difficult to initiate dating, and this may worsen as people get older and have less ways of meeting people

3. Dating
Dating is a way to discover and compare qualities in search of the best partner
Dating has recreational value
Dating provides companionship, emotional support, possibly economic support
Dating changed on college campuses; more common for groups to “hang out”
Hooking up, casual sex, and friends with benefits more acceptable

4. Interracial Dating
Today’s college students include largest group of mixed-race students in U.S. history; result is big increase in mixed-race dating
Blacks more open to interracial dating than Caucasians
More exposure to white culture
More Caucasians available
Reduced pool of available black men
College students prefer same race for long-term relationships

5. Sexuality in Dating Relationships
In college, “hooking up” is becoming more common
Some couples abstain from sex
If one person in a couple is a virgin, they are more likely to abstain if it is a female virgin than a male virgin
The woman’s past sexual experience more strongly predicts a couple’s sexual behavior

6. Breaking Up
Person who initiated breakup often feels less distress, but guilt
Some rejected partners become obsessive about lost relationship
Social support important in recovering from a breakup

7. Cohabitation
Researchers had no labels for cohabitation in U.S. Census until mid-1990s
Over 70% of U.S. heterosexual couples cohabitate before marriage; a major increase
Heterosexual couples transition to marriage within 3 years
Some engage in serial cohabitation
Longer cohabitation associated with higher divorce rates in heterosexual couples

8. Cohabitation
Advantages: learn more about each other’s habits, share finances, mature the relationship
Disadvantages: unsupportive family, cut off from friends
Those who eventually marry are more likely to divorce; even more with long cohabitations
Committed couples same chance of divorce as couples who marry without cohabiting

9. Marriage Most young adults will marry at some point
In U.S., first marriage median age is 28 for men; 26 for women. The latest in recorded history
Unmarried women outnumber married women for the first time in U.S. history
Many factors (education, ethnicity, race) affect marital rates

12. Marriages in Later Life
Most married older adults report marriages happiest in later years
Those still married are usually happy, men more so than women
Women typically care for a sick husband and lack emotional support
Older men are twice as likely to remarry
Women outnumber men in older age
Older men tend to marry younger women

13. Marital Satisfaction Marital satisfaction factors
For men: frequency of pleasurable activities done together
For women: frequency of pleasurable activities focused on emotional closeness
In general: self-disclosure, physical & emotional intimacy, personality similarities
Quality of spousal friendship
Ability to resolve conflict adds to marital stability

14. Marital Satisfaction (Cont.)
White husbands highest marital happiness, black wives the lowest
Married couples tend to be happier, healthier, and live longer
Health benefits mostly for men
Wives monitor husband’s health
Wives have many role responsibilities

15. Sex Within Marriage
Married couples report sex is integral to good marriage; men report higher sexual needs
40% married couples have intercourse 2+ times/week; 50% do so a few times/month
Passion is high early in marriages, but slowly dissipates
Most couples experience a decrease in intercourse over time, mostly due to marital pressures (children, jobs, housework, money)
Positive correlation between frequency of sex & satisfaction with relationship

16. Sex Outside of Marriage
Less than 5% of societies are more strict about forbidding affairs than the U.S.
Almost all couples expect exclusivity
Factors related to cheating:
Stronger sexual interests
Permissive sexual values
Less satisfaction in their relationship
Opportunities for sex outside of the couple

17. Sex Outside of Marriage (Cont.)
75% of Americans believed extramarital sex was intolerable
20% of women, 15-35% of men reported extramarital sex
Process of developing an affair:
Become emotionally close to someone
Keep relationship secret
Start to do things together; “dating”
Sexual and emotional affair

18. Sex Outside of Marriage (Cont.)
Married couples are the most deceptive about sex outside of the relationship
Women more likely disturbed by emotional infidelity; tend to engage in emotional affairs; tend to have affairs when older
Men more likely disturbed by sexual infidelity; tend to engage in sexual affairs; typically when younger
90%+ affairs due to emotional needs not met

19. Sex Outside of Marriage (Cont.)
Comarital sex – consenting of married couples to sexually exchange partners
Swingers
About 3 million swingers in the U.S.
Many support groups, internet contacts
Swingers tend to be white, middle-class, middle-aged church-goers
Often have “safe-sex” circles

21. Differences and Similarities in Gay and Straight Relationships
Researchers have claimed same-sex relationships less stable in adulthood
Most gays and lesbians had secure childhood experiences; connect fully in intimate relationships
Same-sex couples more freedom from gender roles; higher levels of relationship satisfaction
Without formal relationship status, many experience boundary and commitment ambiguity

22. Sexuality in Same-Sex Relationships
Usually the emotionally expressive partner maintains the sex life, for lesbians & gay men
Some lesbians have trouble initiating sex
May be due to female social pressures
Gay men have less troubles initiating sex and are more sexually active than lesbians
May be due to longer love making for lesbians, biology, females’ comfort initiating, men use sex for expressing feelings

23. Civil Unions and Domestic Partnerships
Same-sex marriage isn’t linked to procreation, which the U.S. attempts to guard
Same-sex marriages may be more unstable due to pressures of social disapproval
Domestic Partner Acts – benefits are granted if a couple lives together

24. Same-Sex Marriage Defense of Marriage Act (1996) –
each state can recognize or deny any same-sex marriages
spouse is referred to as the other sex
Same-sex marriage was available in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, and New Hampshire as of 2010
Heterosexual marriage strongly linked to procreation, childbirth, and child rearing; U.S. has long regulated marriage to protect procreative health

25. Having Children or Remaining Childless
Same-sex couples can’t get pregnant by accident; many become parents in a variety of ways
Two thirds of lesbians and more than half of gay men interested in raising children
Relationship quality is impacted by timing of having children
Children decrease relationship time
Married couples with children tend to have lower marital satisfaction than those without

26. Divorce No-fault divorce – makes divorce easier and more acceptable
Covenant marriages – restrictive rules & regulations for ending a marriage
Couples have many reasons for staying together, even though unhappy:
children, religion, lack initiative
Current rates suggest 50% of U.S. marriages will end in divorce

27. Divorce Divorce rates are highest in teen women and decline with age
Early marriages have a greater risk of divorce
Typically, divorce occurs early in a marriage; median was 7.1 years in 1988
Interracial marriages have high divorce rates
Typically one partner wants the divorce (75% of the time female’s initiate), the other is shocked
Economic conditions have led some couples to stay together

28. Divorce Reasons for Divorce Social Factors Predisposing Factors
Relationship Factors

29. Divorce Social Factors Accessibility and low cost
Equitable division of marital assets
More acceptable in U.S. society
Religious groups are less opposed than in the past

30. Divorce Predisposing Factors for Divorce
Marry at a young age, emotional immaturity
Marry because of an unplanned pregnancy
Have more than five children
Short interval from marriage and children
Protestant (vs. Catholic or Jewish)
No religious affiliation
Prior divorce; divorced parents

31. Divorce Relationship Factors in Divorce Communication problems
Avoidance,
Demand & withdrawal
Lack constructive communication
Women feel unloved, belittled & criticized
Men feel neglected and that they have incompatible interests, values & goals
Both sexes reported loss of sexual interest

32. Divorce Same-Sex Divorce Little research on same-sex divorce
One problem: Can a state not allowing same-sex marriage dissolve a same-sex marriage?

33. Divorce Adjusting to Divorce
For some, it can be emotionally & physically painful
Women have increased depression, men have poorer physical & mental health
Older people experience more psychological problems
Divorced people have less in common with their married friends

34. Divorce Adjusting to Divorce
Financial adjustment is often harder for women
Majority of divorced men and women remarry
Men remarry at higher rates than women
Couples in second marriages report higher relationship satisfaction in their marriages than do couples in first marriages