1. 22 JULY 2012 SESSIONS 8 BILL WILCOX ALLEN BOZARTH 1 Biblical Manhood

2. Back to the Basics 2 All the players knew that at the first team meeting, the legendary coach would waste no time getting straight to the point. Many of the men, half Lombardis age and twice his size, were openly fearful, dreading the encounter. The coach did not disappoint them, and, in fact, delivered his message in one of the great one-liners of all time. Football in hand, the great coach walked to the front of the room, took several seconds to look over the assemblage in silence, held out the pigskin in front of him, and said, Gentlemen, this is a football. In only five words, Lombardi communicated his point: Were going to start with the basics and make sure were executing all the fundamentals.

3. Syllabus for Biblical Manhood WeekDateTopicsFacilitator 1 03 JuneIntroduction Spiritual Maturity Worldview Maturity Bill Allen 2 10 JuneDisciplined, Faithful Personal Maturity Allen 3 17 JuneRelational Maturity Verbal Maturity Bill 4 24 JuneCalling Out of SonsAllen 3

4. Syllabus for Biblical Manhood WeekDateTopicsFacilitator 5 01 JulyCalling Out of Sons Part 2Allen 6 08 JulyDaughtersAllen 7 15 JulyFathering Gods Way Demonstrating Wisdom Bill 822 JulyA Godly HusbandAllen 929 JulyA Godly HusbandBill 4

5. SESSION 8 A Godly Husband – Part 1 5

6. Introduction 6 Choosing to enter the marriage relationship, a man assumes great responsibilities in the leadership role of the family Many times the success, happiness in marriage is determined by the man What does God demand of the husband and what the wife should expect of her husband?

7. Leaves Father and Mother 7 Matthew 19: 1 – 6 Leave in favor of another has many implications, ramifications His wife becomes his first earthly loyalty He is to live for his wife and to think of her and please her before his parents Leave the headship of parents; becomes head of his own family Leaves the financial support of his parents; provides for himself, his household

8. Cleaves to His Wife 8 Matthew 19: 5 – 6 Your wife is your highest earthly loyalty Cleave literally means cemented, glued, adhered to Same word used Acts 11: 23; Barnabas went to Antioch to encourage Christians there that with purpose of heart they would cleave unto the Lord As a Christian: Honor your commitment to Jesus by cleaving to and remaining faithful and loyal to Him As husband: Honor his commitment to your wife by cleaving to here and remaining faithful and loyal to her God is the glue that joins the husband and wife together They become one, one flesh The godly husband sticks with his wife in all things – for better or worse

9. The Measure of a Man By Gene A Getz A Faithful Man A Good Reputation Moral Purity A Balanced Life Demonstrating Wisdom Making Gods Truth Attractive Sharing Resources Communicating Sensitively Being Moderate Overcoming Self- Centeredness Anger Avoid Destructive Behavior Treating Others Fairly Peacemaker Generosity Fathering Gods Way Loving God Wholeheartedly Being Just and Upright Living a Holy Life A Disciplined Man 9

10. The 7 Highly Effective Traits of Godly Men Purity of Joseph Wisdom of Josiah Responsibility of Boaz Honesty of Job Courage of Paul Forgiveness of Ananias of Damascus Compassion of Jesus Source: http://everydaychristian.com/blogs/post/7_highly_effective_traits_of_godly_men/ 10

11. The Marks of Manhood by Dr. Albert Mohler http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001093.cfmDr. Albert Mohler Spiritual Maturity Personal Maturity Economic Maturity Physical Maturity Sexual Maturity Moral Maturity Ethical Maturity Worldview Maturity Relational Maturity Social Maturity Verbal Maturity Character Maturity Biblical Maturity 11

12. Equipping Men By Norm Wakefield A Mans Identity Call out of Sons A Father and His Daughter How to Love Your Family The Influence of Happiness and Comfort Purity Biblically Leading Your Family Jurisdictional Leadership Leading with Vision A Fathers Strength: Spirit of Elijah Unshakable Faith 12

13. Is the Head of His Wife 13 Ephesians 5: 21 – 33 Headship = Leadership and needed in every family The godly husband must live up to this God-given responsibility Husband is to be head of his wife as Christ is head of His church Must be exercised in love, humility, consideration of his wife and her needs before himself and his own needs Not a tyrant or dictator His wife is not to be his slave to bow and scrape for him Attitude cannot be: self-indulgent; self-centered; focused on your own comfort; women are to be used; independence from God, other men, family

14. Honors His Wife 14 1 Peter 3: 7 Respect, esteem, and treatment expressive of proper honor Not profaned, belittled or treated as common or taken for granted Honor your wife in both word and deed The wife is the weaker vessel Many believe this references physical weakness of the woman compared to the man Rather she is to be honored as a piece of fine china rather than everyday crockery or stoneware

15. Honors His Wife 15 1 Peter 3: 7 Honor your wife because she is a fellow heir of the grace of life Honor your wife so that your prayers may not be hindered A husband who mistreats his wife severs his relationship with the Lord Cannot maintain a relationship with the Lord if you do not live IAW His will in relationship to your family responsibilities In Practical Terms: Your wife is to be honored for she has honored you – of all the men she could have chosen to give herself and her life to…your wife chose you! What are practical ways to honor your wife?

16. How To Honor Your Wife 16 Honor your marriage vows/covenant; keep self, marriage pure Dont abdicate your headship Take care of your wifes well-being Flirt only with your wife No porn One-woman man Eyes do not wander No abuse of any kind (e.g. verbal, physical, emotional, sexual, or financial) Financial Maturity: Establish a budget, maintenance schedules; budget for dates, get aways and family vacations Emotional Maturity: Be disciplined; act like a man Spiritual Maturity: Lead, facilitate spiritual growth Run errands for your wife

17. How To Honor Your Wife 17 Love is a choice; love your wife; pursue your wife Love your children; pursue your children; be their pastor; pray with your children Read the Bible with your children; weekly family devotionals Be a servant leader, not self-indulgent Call your wife blessed and praise her Song of Solomon; passionate romance (Tommy Nelson) Be one flesh, one team Give small gifts…when it is not her birthday Actively listen Let the things that matter to her matter to you Encourage her time with other godly women Honor her parents

18. Study Your Wife 18 What blesses her? What can I do this week to bless my wife? Be intentional Wash, dry, fold, put away clothes; give her a break What energizes her? What is she good at? What ways has she shaped you for the better then thank her? Where does she think shes inadequate? How can I bring her encouragement in the areas she feels inadequate? Whats weighing on her heart today? Put down the iPhone, Kindle, laptop, remote, XBOX, golf clubs, etc. and carve out time to pray with your wife today

19. Dating is Fundamental 19 Lead: take responsibility that you have a regular date with your wife Plan: make sure the date happens; arrange for sitter; make reservations; be flexible just in case shes not crazy about your idea Connect or Reconnect: Make time for good conversation; hard to talk at a movie or concert; add dinner or dessert Work Around Challenges: Tight budget; new born baby; be creative; take walks; just pursue her Make Time: for bigger getaways at least once a year Plan Surprises: carry here clothes sizes with you; flowers; chocolates; weekend getaway; picnic; Share your ideas right now on places to eat, to go,, to do etc.

20. A Godly Husband 20 Leave Cleave Lead Honor Next Week: Dwells Provides Loves

21. 29 JULY 2012 SESSION 9 BILL WILCOX A Godly Husband – Part 2 21

22. Dwells With His Wife with Understanding 22 1 Peter 3: 7 Does not mean a man should seek to know as much as he can about his wife so that he can understand her Yes, tis important to know your wifes desires, needs, goals, etc. Not exactly what this passage is teaching Ginosko signifies to be taking in knowledge, to come to know, recognize, understand or to understand completely (W.E. Vine, Expository Dictionary of NT Words, p. 637) With an intelligent recognition of the nature of the marriage relation (Marvin R. Vincent, Word Studies in the New Testament, Vol. I, p. 651) You may never fully understand your wife however you can completely understand the teachings of Scripture on the marriage relationship

23. Provides for the Needs of His Wife 23 Provide for your wifes: Physical Needs (1 Timothy 5: 8) Sexual Needs (1 Corinthians 7: 1 – 4) This is a blessing from God which the marriage relationship supplies Is a physical expression of the love between a husband and wife Likewise, satisfy your wifes emotional needs; understand the link between emotional and sexual Spiritual Needs (1 Peter 3: 7) As a joint heir of the grace of life Nothing complements the efforts of a wife trying to serve the Lord than a faithful husband doing the same

24. Truly Loves His Wife 24 Ephesians 5: 25 – 33 Love is the summation of all the husband should be and do Many marry for love when they mean physical attraction As husband, your love is to be more than mere physical attraction Love of the husband is to have his wife is compared to the love Christ has for His church. Husbands love is to be: Sacrificial – as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her Preeminent – as their own bodies Truly Caring – even as Himself

25. Truly Loves His Wife 25 1 Corinthians 13: 4 – 8 The love of a husband for his wife is to be: Long-suffering Kind Not envious Not to parade itself; not proud Not seek its own; not selfish Not provoked, not easily offended Not thinking evil; does not dwell on offenses Not rejoicing in iniquity; finds no pleasure in sin Rejoices in truth; loves righteousness Endures wrongs, troubles, afflictions, etc. Believes all things; is trusting and confident of the wife Hopes all things; no pessimism Endures all things; perseveres Never Fails; always abides

26. Truly Loves His Wife 26 1 Corinthians 13: 4 – 8 Practical questions: Are my expectations of my wife unreasonable? Do I daily pray for and/or with my wife? Do I let her know she is part of my life? Am I pursuing my wife? Am I affection at time other than sex? Do I help and support her in the work she does in our home? Do I take out my work day frustrations on my wife? Do I regularly tell my wife that I love her? Do I speak kindly to her, even about money?

27. Husbands 27 Must be brave, courageous, intentional Must be ready to shoulder the responsibilities as head of his wife Must love his wife like Jesus loves His church A godly husband will be rewarded with a loving wife in this life and eternal blessings in the life to come.

28. Circling Back 28 Ask your children/your wife what it was/is like to have you as a father/husband. A call or a letter Ive been doing some thinking about our relationship and how I may have hurt/wounded you. Id be honored if youd tell me what it is/was like to have me as a dad. Simply listen; accept what they say. Once story is out on the table, ask for forgiveness Pray for forgiveness, reconciliation, end to bitterness Demonstrate your repentance if needed Speak loving, affirming words over and over and over again

29. Action Plan 29 Encourage and hold each other accountable as brothers in Christ to be godly sons, men, husbands, fathers, deacons, elders, pastors Dont announce youre intentions to be a better son, husband, father Just lead; let them see your example

30. Sources & References 30 The New American Standard Bible Men of Integrity; www.menofintegrity.org Stinson, Randy and Dan Dumas; A Guide to Biblical Manhood Southern Baptist Theological Seminary; Family Equipping Ministry Model; www.sbts.edu/family/ Taylor, Gene; The Godly Man, November 1996 Wakefield, Norm; Equipping Me: Practical Tools for Lifes Issues (CD Set)

31. BILL WILCOX ALLEN BOZARTH 31 Biblical Manhood