1. Global Summit of Women Athens, Greece 31 May – 2 June , 2012
Negotiating with Difficult People

2. Negotiating with Difficult People Moderated by Alicia Natividad Difficult People, by Pamela Teagarden Negotiations Process, by Celina Realuyo Techniques for Women, by Sara Bieger

3. Difficult People in Negotiations
Presented by
Pamela Teagarden, the Soluna Institute
For ‘diversity at the next level’

4. People
When do
negotiations
get difficult?
Topic
Setting

5. Some think… We can be emotional
We worry too much (what others will think)
We say too much (or disclose too much)
We change our mind (slow to decide)
We do not “stand up” for ourselves
We don’t offer an opinion (or we apologize for it)
We do not ask for things we need

6. Is this true? Competitive/Protective Cooperative/Emotional
Transacts with others
Facts > Feelings
Cooperative/Emotional
Listens to others
Feelings > Facts

7. We can… Use our emotions as our strength
Understand that it’s not personal and find support
Stop and think about facts (or prepare with them)
Wait until last to speak or take a ‘break’ to think
Say it with confidence
Make and maintain a ‘personal vision’

8. People TYPE DO SAY Angry ‘Tyrant’, or ‘bully’ Let them talk.
Don’t react.
“I see you are angry/upset/frustrated…”
Powerful/Intimidator
Do nothing.
Facts first.
Know-it-all
Listen actively
Use their words with yours
Always Negative
Listen for feelings
Ask questions.
Manipulator
Listen for facts that you agree with
“Something seems out of step…”

9. Topic Subject Preparation Action Funding/Budget needs
Express purpose with logic and facts, then feelings
Create a plan:
Cost?
Opportunity Cost?
Reputation Cost?
Time/Skills?
Tough topic
Consider the other’s views
Deliver it:
Timely
Personally
Honestly
Asking for things you need.
Have a personal plan and a ‘supportive mentor’
Ask:
Sooner, not later
With facts/logic
You must practice

10. Setting Place Your Concerns? Actions In meetings You will be wrong
Disclose too much
Change your mind
Others will judge you
Wait to speak
Take notes
Say it with confidence
Do not apologize
In public forums
Seek a mentor
Write a plan
Practice
One to one
Others will feel bad
Create trust
Be honest
Make it timely

11. Final thoughts.
There will always be difficult negotiations/conversations.
Our view is needed and not yet ‘the norm’
Practice makes us better
A trusted, support/challenge group helps
Failure is not personal, it’s business.

12. Negotiating Effectively with Difficult People June 2, 2012
Global Summit of Women 2012: Women – The Engine of Growth
Athens, Greece
Negotiating Effectively with Difficult People June 2, 2012
Celina B. Realuyo
Assistant Professor of National Security Affairs, U.S. National Defense University
President, CBR Global Advisors, LLC

13. Negotiating Effectively with Difficult People
RISK
REWARD
IN A WORLD OF UNCERTAINTY, ONE THING IS FOR SURE, YOU WILL HAVE TO NEGOTIATE WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE!
Source: Celina B. Realuyo

14. Key Actions in Negotiations
INQUIRE
ACKNOWLEDGE
ADVOCATE
RESOLVE
Source: Celina B. Realuyo

15. Negotiating Effectively with Difficult People
Five Stage Process
PREPARE
PRACTICE
PRESENT
PERSIST
PREVAIL
Prepare by defining your desired objective and strategy
Rehearse your talking points beforehand
Make your case in a constructive manner
Promote and defend your position
Reach a win-win outcome
Source: Celina B. Realuyo

16. Negotiating Effectively with Difficult People Consider Culture and Context
GUIDELINES
Choose when and where to negotiate
Decide how to convey message (written or oral)
Find shared interests to disarm your counterpart
Repeat your message with resolve
Understand and respect your counterpart’s culture
Source: Celina B. Realuyo

17. TECHNIQUES FOR NEGOTIATIONS WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
Global Summit of Women, Athens 2012
By Sara Bieger, Managing Partner Spain
Leaders Trust International – AltoPartners Group
Consultants in Executive Search

18. Is a HELPFUL CONTRADICTION
A combination of both
SUPPORT & ATTACK
Is a HELPFUL CONTRADICTION
Fight with energy the essential matters (increase the
pressure to obtain an efficient solution)
Provide the other person with
the necessary SUPPORT
(as to improve your relationship)
A PSYCHOLOGICAL THEORY states that human beings are displeased by the lack of logics and react against it.

19. Negotiator: always has 2 kinds of interests
The essence & the relationship
Both are usually mixed up, because after all,
negotiators are always PERSONS.

20. BASIC CATEGORIES I. PERCEPTION III. COMMUNICATION THE BASICS:
MAKE SURE YOU HAVE EMPATHY
“PUT YOURSELVE IN SOMEONE ELSE´S SHOES”
III. COMMUNICATION
THE BASICS:
2 WAY COMMUNICATION
II. EMOTION
IDENTIFICATION ALL EMOTIONS
IV. PREVENTION
BUILD a PERSONAL AND SIGNIFICANT RELATIONSHIP

21. Difficulties to interact with them
The main obstacle is: Trying to change them!
What happens when the other side is more powerful?

22. Don't loose your mind! Don't try to change THEM
Re-shape and change what YOU DO
Change your behaviour towards THEM

23. ALWAYS REMEMBER: 1. DISSOCIATE your thoughts TO UNDERSTAND
2. ASSOCIATE your thoughts TO ACT
3. KEEP ON TRYING!!
How do I feel?
Which kind of behaviour upsets you?
Which is your behaviour in reply?
Which kind of behaviour would you desire from the
other side?
What would I change in my behaviour to obtain it?
Tricks
Identify them
Make them obvious
Don´t be aggressive
Negotiate according to the rules
Keep yourself calmed
Establish your limits without aggressive attitudes
Speak from yourself
Modify the kind of relationship you have with yourself

24. ATTITUDE THERE IS A POWER ALWAYS AVAILABLE: THE POWER OF
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!

25. Now, take note of the differences…
National Cultures
Generations
Gender
Race
Socio-economic power
Positional power
Etc….