1.
Changing
Kids’
Lives
Deborah Giboa, MD

2. Chores are the canary in the coal mine of kids’ character…

3. hap·pi· ness: noun good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy
INGREDIENTS:
Confidence
Competence
Relationships
hap·pi· ness: noun

4. WHY RESPECT? Turns an obligation into an achievement
Transforms interaction into relationship
Gives an individual the certainty of belonging

5. RESPECT WHAT IS IT? Recognizing worth or excellence
Showing regard or consideration
Impossible to give if you don’t have any
Crucial for success.

6. RESPECT REQUIRES COMMUNICATION
Tone of voice.
Titles of respect.
Eye contact
Body Language
Privacy
Look up and around

7. RESPONSIBILITY Chores/roles Homework Practice Leadership Service
One work ethic; sentences

8. WHY DO ADULTS SAY NO? Love Genuine enjoyment responsibility Fear
Future consequences
Relationship rupture
Guilt

9. CULTURE OF “SUCCESSFUL” FAMILIES
Myth vs
Truth

10. SOURCE: Journal of Child and Family Studies, Feb 2013

11. THE COST
“Students who reported having over-controlling parents reported significantly higher levels of depression and less satisfaction with life. Furthermore, the negative effects of helicopter parenting on college students’ well-being were largely explained by the perceived violation of students’ basic psychological needs for autonomy and competence.”

12. HOW DOES FAILURE HELP? independence → confidence Leads to competence
Builds relationship
Teaches resilience. 12

13. RESILIENCE CHALLENGES
Mistakes
Accidents
Pain
Social consequences
Judgment
11:00 News…

14. WHAT WOULD BE BETTER? Doing = learning. Doing builds resilience!
Life skills
Relationship skills
Problem-solving!
Look for chances to take one step back.

15. RESILIENCE “I’ll be interested to see what you do!” Mistakes Praise
Life lessons
Choices
Risk-taking
Resources!
“I’ll be interested to see what you do!”

16. “Happiness Now” Pressure
Unattainable
Conflicts with resilience
Removes opportunity for resilience “practice”
Causes us to change the narrative to support everything being ok
Limits the resources we offer
We’re terrible at predicting it for others

17. Resilience in Practice
Build trust
Demonstrate gratitude
Express empathy
Connect resources
Offer solutions
Resilience in Practice

19. “That’s a pretty fine fix you’ve gotten yourself into there, kiddo.
I’ll be interested to see what you do.”

20. Empathy
without intervention.

21. /AskDoctorG
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