1. Welcome To Today’s Assembly
There now follows an important announcement affecting our school.

2. New laws affecting UK primary schools
All primary schools will start at 6am and finish at 5pm.
There will no longer be any holidays at Christmas and Easter.
All pupils under the age of 12 will be required to sit silently during breaks and will not be allowed to go outside.

3. April Fool!

4. What did the inflatable teacher at the inflatable school say to the inflatable pupil who brought a pin to class?

5. You’ve let me down. You’ve let the school down
You’ve let me down. You’ve let the school down. But worst of all, you’ve let yourself down.

6. 1 Corinthians 1:27
‘But God chose the foolish things of this world to put the wise to shame. He chose the weak things of this world to put the powerful to shame.’

7. What makes you laugh?