1. Based on the work of John l. Wallen
The Interpersonal gap
Based on the work of John l. Wallen

2. What is the interpersonal gap (IPG)?
The IPG framework demonstrates the difference between intent in our communication and how that intention impacts others (the listeners)
Pieces of this framework:
Intention – plans, desires, hopes, wants
Action – outward display of intention
Impact – effect the intention has on listeners
Filter - our cumulative experiences we often refer back to
The “gap” describes the degree of distance between the intent and impact
When intent and impact are aligned – the gap is bridged!

3. Intention is…
Private
Is made by person A, and inferred (assumed) by person B
Examples:
I want my... friends to get along
I would appreciate a clear response to my request
Hopefully my manager will tell me I'm doing a great job without me having to ask
I would like her to know how angry it makes me when she does that, but I don’t want to lose her friendship

4. IPG Impact IS… A private internal process
The response and reaction to intentions of others
Influenced by our personal filter
How we interpret, infer and make assumptions about the intent of others

5. Actions are… Public Connected to our personal filters
Observable through one or more of our tactile senses (sight, taste, sound, touch, smell)
Connected to our personal filters
Verbal or non verbal
Verbal – words spoken
Non-verbal – waving, hug
Brief or extended

6. Our personal filter is…
Private
An accumulation of our personal experiences
Think of a huge container that contains our life experiences
We refer to our filter when interpreting situations
When a situation seems familiar, we might think we know what’s going to happen based on our previous experiences
Where we make inferences and assumptions

7. Example…
This was the first day of Fall quarter a few years back. I was heading up the stairs to class, and almost collided with a group of about four students. I began mumbling under my breath, wondering why the students were on the wrong side of the stairwell. I stopped for a moment, looking at the students. I heard one of the students speaking with a British accent. I asked where they were from. They said “right outside of London”.
Ohhhhh…the situation made sense!! In Britain, things are on the left…walking and driving!
I was doing “the correct thing” by walking up the stairs on the right
I ask myself “why are the students coming down the wrong side of the stairs”?
The students were doing what they thought was right. Walking on the left…
Once I had the exchange with the students, I understood. The gap was closed.
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8. Remember… Intentions are private Actions are public and observable
Known only to the person who has them
Actions are public and observable
Impact is private
Our internal response to the intentions of another

9. How do we “bridge the gap”?
…by not making inferences, even when a situation seems “familiar”
AVOID “MSU” (making stuff up)
…ask questions to clarify the intent of “person A”
…realize that our interpretation is not necessarily right, it is ours so own it
…do not make assumptions

10. Work on counting to 10 before making assumptions about others…
avoid msu!!
(making stuff up)
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA