1. ACHIEVING EMOTIONAL CONTROL10
ACHIEVING EMOTIONAL CONTROL

2. Learning Objectives Identify the eight forms of intelligence.
Explain the significance of emotional intelligence
Describe how to apply emotional intelligence.
List ways to deal with anger.
Compare and contrast assertiveness, aggressiveness, and anger.

3. Learning Objectives Give examples of defensive behaviors
Distinguish the various scripts that influence our actions.
Explain why people “play games” in the workplace

4. The Eight Forms of Intelligence
Howard Gardner proposed eight intelligences:
Language
Math and logic
Music
Spatial reasoning
Movement
Interpersonal intelligence
Intrapersonal intelligence
Naturalist intelligence

5. The Eight Forms of Intelligence
Dimension
Description
Type of Individuals Associated with the Dimension
Language
People who have verbal intelligence, love language, and are fascinated by its meanings, expressions, and rhythms.
Writers, poets, songwriters, and speakers
Math and Logic
Individuals who enjoy puzzles of logic or brain teasers are strong in this type of intelligence. Most of the standardized intelligence tests measure math and logic ability levels.
Scientists and mathematicians

6. The Eight Forms of Intelligence
Dimension
Description
Type of Individuals Associated with the Dimension
Music
Most people whose intelligence falls into this category have a relationship with sounds. If you can play, write, or read music with ease and enjoyment, you have this strength.
Favorite musician or musical group
Spatial Reasoning
A person who excels in this area has a knack for seeing how elements fit together in space.
It is physical and mechanical, and less tied to ideas and concepts.
Sculptures and architecture

7. The Eight Forms of Intelligence
Dimension
Description
Type of Individuals Associated with the Dimension
Movement
The ability to use body or body parts to solve problems is a type of intelligence.
Also known as kinesthetic intelligence.
Athletes and dancers
Interpersonal Intelligence
Deals with one’s ability to understand and deal with the world of people.
Essential skill in all aspects of life, particularly in business.
People holding positions of power and leadership; respected by others.

8. The Eight Forms of Intelligence
Dimension
Description
Intrapersonal Intelligence
Means knowledge of oneself.
A person with this intelligence is introspective;
They know their strengths, weaknesses, desires, and fears—and can act on that knowledge realistically.
Naturalist Intelligence
A person high in this intelligence has an understanding of nature and natural processes.
People who are happiest outdoors and have a natural understanding of the natural world have this strength.
Such knowledge can raise the level of an organization’s creative output.

9. Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence (EI)
the ability to see and control your own emotions and to understand the emotional states of other people.

10. Factors in understanding Emotional Intelligence
Emotional competence
The application of EI used in the workplace
personal competence
Ability to be self-aware, motivated, and self-regulated
social competence
Empathy for others combined with sensitivity and effective social skills

11. Emotional Intelligence Clusters
self-awareness
Knowing how to “come-off” to other people
social awareness
Understand the politics (attitudes, nonverbal) of your own workplace
self-management
Self-control
relationship management
Settle conflicts

12. Learning to Apply Emotional Intelligence
A few practical approaches to improve EI are:
Review what you know about self-awareness.
Carefully watch others whose social competence seems to be high, who have social awareness skills that you don’t have but would like to attain.
Work actively on improving your self-management skills.
Develop relationship management skills.

13. Dealing with Anger Steps for dealing with anger:
Examine your anger to find the inner causes
Learn to recognize your own “flashpoints”
Fatigue, excessive stress, alcohol
Examine specifically what damage your anger has caused
Work on developing and using conflict management skills
Get in touch with what types of things help calm you down

14. Assertiveness, Aggressiveness, and Anger
Standing up for your rights without threatening the self-esteem of another person
Hurting others
Putting them on the defensive

15. Defensive Behaviors Defensiveness
inappropriate reaction to others behavior as though it was an attack.
It usually comes from two sources: low self-esteem and fear.

16. Defensive Behaviors Common defensive reactions used in the workplace:
Counterattack
Involves responding with an attack when felt under attack.
Passive-aggressive behavior
Expression of an understated rage.
Pointless explanations
Stems from a belief that the other person has been on the attack only because that person “doesn’t understand.”
Creating a distraction
It introduces a point or fact that is irrelevant to the issue at hand; Also called using a “red herring.”

17. Defensive Behaviors Steps to reduce defensiveness:
Take a bit of time to get refocused and get a renewed perspective.
Use “I statements.”
Avoid absolute words like always and never.
Make positive assumptions about other people involved.
Learn to separate your work from who you are.

18. Scripts used to explain some important facts about human behavior
cultural scripts
family scripts
religious scripts
gender scripts

19. Games People Play
an encounter between two people that produces a “payoff” for the one who starts the game, at the expense of the other player
Games are usually emotion-based activities, don’t really help any of the players.
They cause damage to the organization - wasted time, lowered morale, and decreased output.

20. Games People Play Why Don’t You…Yes, But Blemish Wooden Leg Harried
Now I’ve Got You

21. Strategies for Success
Stopping games before they start:
Work on your self-esteem.
Try to remain rational, regardless of the other person’s state of mind.
Try to get the other person to be rational and honest.
Give positive feedback to other people.
De-emphasize the weaknesses of others.