1. BALANCE YOUR CONFLICT BALANCE YOUR CONFLICT
Dr. Jody Janati

2. I Don’t Understand that “Tact Sh!%” You Teach at the College!

3. “RUDENESS IS THE WEAK MAN’S IMITATION
OF STRENGTH”
~ Eric Hoffer

4. “Stay on the GROW” DR. JANATI
THE POLITE PATTERN
Cliché
Fact
Opinion
Emotion
“Stay on the GROW” DR. JANATI

5. “PEOPLE WILL CONTINUE TO BE WHO THEY ARE DESPITE YOUR OPINION OF THEM”

6. ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION
Pursue your best interests w/o denying another’s
Separate the person from the problem
Focus on shared interests, “what do we both…”
Generate options to solve problems 
Choose “I” statements before “You” statements, “I feel uncomfortable when you use language…”
Stick to the facts
Express little to no emotion during an interaction
Face difficult interactions squarely and authentically

7. You are a Piece of the Peace

8. HOW YOU SAY SOMETHING MATTERS
PLEASE SIT DOWN, YOU ARE ROCKING THE BOAT
OF COURSE I’LL HELP SERVE REFRESHMENTS
I AM SO GLAD YOU GAVE ME YOUR PERMISSION
WE CAN GO HOME NOW JERRY
NO, STOP THAT. DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID
ARE YOU ALWAYS SO HELPFUL
THAT’S THE MOST AMAZING THING I HAVE EVER HEARD
Paralanguage: Nonverbal Messages Regarding the Way You Use Your Voice

9. The words LISTEN and SILENT have the same letters in them

10. WHY W AM A I
TALKING T

11. Being PRESENT is a response!
FIGHT
FLEE or
FLOW

12. EYEBALLS + FEELING THE FEELING THEY ARE FEELING BEING PRESENT
“Eyes are the windows to the soul” “S/he looked right through me” “What a cold stare” “S/he’s got shifty eyes” “There was a gleam in his eye” “We’re not seeing eye to eye” “She gave me the evil eye” “He shot daggers across the room” “S/he could kill with that glance” “S/he made eyes at me” “We had a stare down” “S/he gave me the stink eye”
EYEBALLS + FEELING THE FEELING THEY ARE FEELING BEING PRESENT

13. FEELING NEED
LANGUAGE OF COLLABORATION

14. HOW DO WE BALANCE BEHAVIOR?
Create little to no resistance
“Ask; Don’t Tell; Offer Choices”
Be consistent
“Consistency Over Time = Trust”
Awareness = Change
Commit to making other’s aware
“I noticed…I see you are…”

15. REDUCE RESISTANCE
Eliminate these words and find your “Conversation Peace” SHOULD SHOULDN’T NEED TO STOP DON’T NOT HAVE TO OUGHT TO

16. BALANCING BEHAVIOR 1. Tell them what they did [fact]
2. Tell them how it made you feel
-or-
State a consequence of their behavior
3. “Point it out, Bring it up, Put it on your radar, Thought you should know, Wanted you to be aware...”

17. TIME TO ACT!
Step 1 - A Ask them to meet with you [give them at least 10 min.]
Step 2 - C Clear concise statement
[ words]
Step 3 - T Transfer responsibility [repeat about 10 times]

18. Control your thoughts or they will control you
THANK YOU!
You are
“Response – Able!”
May You Find
Your
“Conversation Peace”
“When I think the thought “_______________,” my thoughts and behavior towards this person become “_____________________.”
Dr. Jody Janati |