1. Responding to the Harm We experience and may cause for others
The Skill of IMPACT
Responding to the Harm We experience and may cause for others

2. overview Some Caveats The Current Conversation
Positions of Interaction
Focusing on Response
Kairos
From “Self” to Skill
Skills to Practice
The Process of Practice
Commitment is Key
Final Thoughts

3. Before we begin, Just know…
A focus on negative impact prompts a particular level of growth
Our intention is to help us become “unstuck” from impact
What we propose is experimental, and is subject to refinement
Our focus today on negative impact (as opposed to positive impact) is an attempt to help us improve our critical thinking and problem solving skills.
We don’t have to be stuck in the place of not knowing how to productively move forward from the impacts we feel or may cause for others.
This is the first time this content has been made public to an audience. So while we appreciate your grace, we are also open to and are excited by your recommendations for how this content can continue to grow.

4. “You never know what all you say until you know what all was heard.”
- Intent vs. Impact
What I say (or do) and what you hear (or feel) may not always match.
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw 

5. The current conversation
Incomplete
(Focused on Awareness)
Lacks Skill Development
Unpracticed Community
The conversation on ”Intent vs. Impact” ought to move beyond just the mere awareness of its framework. Completing the framework calls for us to incorporate the element of “skill,” which allows us to become a community of better practices (i.e., social change).
Key Question: How can work to have more skilled interactions with one another?

6. positions of interaction
Who Made the Impact
Who is Impacted
“The Impacter”
From interaction to interaction (and throughout our lives) we may switch positions – we may not always be the “Impacter” or the “Impactee.” Therefore, we need skills to manage the experience of being in both positions. But for the sake of time, we’ll be dedicating most of our attention on developing the skills needed by those who are in the “Impacter” position.
Key Question (Revisited): How can work to have more skilled interactions with one another no matter the position we’re in?
“The Impactee”

7. (Reflection and Support)
A Focus on Response
Moment of Response
Processing Period
(Reflection and Support)
Moment of Impact
TIME
The time between the moment of impact and the moment of response (the processing period) can be two seconds or two years. Where here today to develop skills for the moment you choose to respond, whenever that may be.
WHEN and how should I respond?...

8. Clinging to Kairos (Greek)
"the right or opportune moment”
(the supreme moment)
We always search for the right place and time to respond to impact – the perfect (or supreme) moment. The supreme moment doesn’t typically move us toward action; rather, it tends to freezes us from action.

9. “to decide What you want to do, decide who You want to be.”
- Counteracting Kairos
Who we are will manifest in what we do (character  actions). Therefore, how we respond to impact should reflect the person who we would like to be. And when we respond to impact (i.e., when we choose to counteract kairos) depends on when you want to be the person who you’d like to be.

10. Exercise: Reflecting my self through skill
What actions make that person come to life?
SKILLS
What is my next opportunity to practice those skills?
INTERACTION
Who is the person I want to be?
CHARACTER TRAIT
_________________________ _________________________ _________________________ _________________________
located on page 2 of the handout

11. Example: Reflecting my self through skill
What actions make that person come to life?
SKILLS
What is my next opportunity to practice those skills?
INTERACTION
HUMILITY
LISTENING
NOT INTERRUPTING
STAYING
SEATED
WHERE – Mugs Coffee Shop
WHEN – By next Tuesday, January 17th
Who is the person I want to be?
CHARACTER TRAIT
“Turning the volume down on myself to uplift another”
located on page 2 of the handout

12. WHO IS THE PERSON I WANT TO BE?
skills to practice
Consider Your Options
Get Permission
Be Intentional with Intent
Listen Closely
Ask Questions
Accept Their Reality
Honor Their Effort
Plan for Better
Accept Responsibility
Which are the core (most important) skills to practice?
WHO IS THE PERSON I WANT TO BE?

13. The Process of Practice
SKILLS
CHARACTER
INTERACTION
Question: What if the other person wasn’t receptive to the skills I practiced, and the interaction didn’t go the way I wanted?...
Response: If at the end of that interaction you can truly say the person who wanted be had manifested in that moment (and if there were lessons we can take from that interaction that could help us continue to grow), then that is a “win” nonetheless.
LEARNING

14. COMMITMENT IS key having skilled interactions… The more we practice
…the more the person who we want to be will manifest in interaction
(Our Intent matching Our Impact)
…the more we reinforce our commitment to social change
and the person who we want to be
Slide 13 Image

15. Final thoughts
No matter the position (“impacter” or “impactee”), consider and cling to the person who you want to be.
Being committed to the person who we want to be manifests in being committed to the practice of having skilled interactions; and that practice creates social change – one interaction at a time.
(interaction  relationship  group/collective  society)

16. Thanks for coming! Darrie Matthew Burrage
Associate Director of Learning Programs
The Institute for Learning and Teaching
Colorado State University
Facilitator/Director/Actor
Affinity Arts Consulting
David D’Alessandro
Assistant Director of Conflict Resolution
Student Resolution Center
Colorado State University

17. References Articles videos Associated Skills Values Focus on Impact
Associated Skills
Intent Still Matters
Associated Skills
Values