1. Overall Organization Transitions
Revising Goal
Overall Organization
Transitions

2. Organization Follows Power Thinking
Thesis at the end of introduction paragraph
Topic sentences at the beginning of each body paragraph
At least two body paragraphs
Topic sentences for body paragraphs supported by three details that are well elaborated
All details relate to the topic sentence they are under.

3. Switch Papers with a partner

4. Thesis *
Put a star next to where they have their thesis in the intro…. If there isn’t one, write “need thesis”… if it needs to be clearer, make note of it.

5. Topic Sentences Underline your partner’s topic sentences
If they don’t have one at the beginning of each body paragraph, write a note telling them they need it.
If the topic sentences don’t match the thesis, give them that feedback

6. Details – do they fit?

7. Practice If this is your T.S. (topic sentence)….
Staying positive even in the face of negativity may be difficult, but it’s necessary for a change for the better to occur.
Do the following details fit?

8. Does this detail fit. Thumbs up for YES, down for NO T. S
Does this detail fit? Thumbs up for YES, down for NO T.S.= Staying positive even in the face of negativity may be difficult, but it’s necessary for a change for the better to occur.
During the bus boycotts, people responded to the bombing of Dr. King’s house by mobbing his house, ready to react with weapons and violence.

9. Does this detail fit. Thumbs up for YES, down for NO T. S
Does this detail fit? Thumbs up for YES, down for NO T.S.= Staying positive even in the face of negativity may be difficult, but it’s necessary for a change for the better to occur.
Even though some KKK members threw balloons filled with urine at them, bus boycotters continued on their quest for desegregation of the busses. They persevered nonviolently through 381 days of walking in the rain with people insulting and threatening them all along the way.

10. Does this detail fit. Thumbs up for YES, down for NO T. S
Does this detail fit? Thumbs up for YES, down for NO T.S.= Staying positive even in the face of negativity may be difficult, but it’s necessary for a change for the better to occur.
Rachel helped a new student by sitting with her at lunch and introducing her to new friends. The girl’s mother was ill, and knowing someone cared enough to take time to get to know her made a huge difference for her.

11. On your partner’s paper…
Read their details
If there are any that do not clearly fit with their topic sentence, give them that feedback
If you can see how a detail relates but the writer didn’t explain it, write “explain how this relates to…. (topic sentence)”

12. Transitions
Does the writing smoothly flow from one idea to the next or does it JUMP?
Ways to transition:
Transitional phrases (will get you a 3): For example, On the other hand, However etc. (see your transitional phrases sheet)
Transitional sentences that connect ideas (will get you a 4)… see examples following

13. Transitional Sentence/Ideas
The droplets represent every mean or rude comment that same person is getting, and every droplet gets that person closer to snapping. That last drop would be equivalent to the straw that broke the camel’s back. When it came down to it, it only took one drop to bring the whole thing down. One more mean comment is all it would take to break that person. If you went out of your way to do something nice for a person, it would be like taking water out of the beaker. Mrs. Flowers was a person who did take water out of the beaker. Mrs. Flowers made Marguerite a more confident girl by taking time to teach Marguerite how to read and in the short story “Mrs. Flowers” by Maya Angelou.

14. Transitional Sentence/Ideas
By doing those simple things for Marguerite, Mrs. Flowers was able to change the way Marguerite looked at the world.
Another way to change the wrong doings and mistakes in the world is to apologize. Elwin Wilson was one man who knew the power of an apology. In his younger years, Elwin Wilson joined the Ku Klux Klan, or KKK. Smacking blood in all directions and forever imprinting pain into the memory of many, Elwin Wilson had beat blacks brutally including a man named John Lewis.

15. Transitional Sentence/Ideas
On top of all of this, you need to stand up for what you believe in, stick up for yourself and others, keep hope and faith in others, and/or take a risk or make a sacrifice for what you want. Don’t be a bystander any longer, act! If Rosa Parks had the power to act, you do too! Rosa Parks was sitting in a seat on the bus when a white man came on the bus and wanted a seat. Rosa was not doing anything wrong, she was in the black people section of the bus and sitting quietly.

16. Transitional Sentence/Ideas
(just finished describing the bus boycott as a detail) When the bus boycott caught on, a kind of chain reaction occurred. This was similar to the chain reaction Rachel Joy Scott was looking to start. Rachel Joy Scott tried to reach out to everybody and make everybody feel cared for. Although Rachel lost her life in a school shooting, before she died she had stood up for the people who didn't even have themselves to stand up for them. Another example of people who sacrificed something they wanted for what was right was in a softball championship game. (goes on to describe this detail)

17. Give feedback to your partner…
Read through their paper
Anytime they jump from one idea to the next, write “need transition”
Anytime you see a less sophisticated transition being used (And, But, So, First, Next, Last etc.), write “use more sophisticated transition.
If your partner has mastered transitional phrases, push him/her to use transitional sentences connecting ideas.