1. THE POWER OF FAILURE Building Bounce in a World that Frowns on Failing
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2. If you could wave a magic wand...
What do you want for your child’s future?

3. hap·pi· ness: noun good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy
INGREDIENTS:
Confidence
Competence
Strong relationships

4. HOW DOES FAILURE HELP? Proves independence → confidence
Leads to competence
Builds relationship
Teaches resilience. 4

5. WHY DO ADULTS
STEP IN?
Love.
Fear.
Guilt. 5

6. SOURCE: Journal of Child and Family Studies, Feb 2013

7. THE COST
“Students who reported having over-controlling parents reported significantly higher levels of depression and less satisfaction with life. Furthermore, the negative effects of helicopter parenting on college students’ well-being were largely explained by the perceived violation of students’ basic psychological needs for autonomy and competence.”

8. CULTURE OF “SUCCESSFUL” FAMILIES
The Myth:
“Getting involved will make us both feel better!”
The Truth:
Stepping back helps kids become adults.

9. The ability to RECOVER from ADVERSITY!
WHAT IS RESILIENCE?
The ability to RECOVER from ADVERSITY!
What do we know?
Bad things happen.
There are always choices to be made.
Feelings change over time.
Recovery requires tools and experience.
What do they need?
PRACTICE.

10. Building resilience requires trust.
FINDING RESILIENCE
Building resilience requires trust.
What doesn’t work?
“Stop crying!”
Why not?
Disrespectful
Strong emotion is a sign of fight or flight.
What does work?
Communication and repetition.

11. WHAT WOULD BE BETTER? Doing = learning. Doing builds resilience!
Home skills
Relationship skills
Problem-solving!
Look for chances to take one step back.

12. HOME SKILLS
Manners
Food
Clothing
Cleaning
Privacy
Consequences

13. RELATIONSHIP SKILLS
Siblings
Friendships
Relatives
Teachers
Strangers

14. PROBLEM SOLVING Let life teach the lesson! Praise the process.
Play “What if?”
Read a book or watch a show.
“I’ll be really interested to see what you do!”

15. WHAT ADULTS NEED TO REMEMBER
Adult involvement supports
Safety
Comfort
Adult intervention harms
Confidence
Competence
Relationships

16. hap·pi· ness: noun good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy
INGREDIENTS:
Confidence
Competence
Strong relationships

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