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Objectives Assess your dominant conflict style
Understand the conflict styles defined by the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument Develop strategies for improving individual and team approaches to conflict management
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What does your conflict style say about you?
Thomas & Kilman (1974). Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument. Copyright 1974, 2001 by Xicom, Incorporated. Xicom, Incorporated is a subsidiary of Consulting Psychologists Press, Inc. All rights reserved. Extracted from Competing: Pit Bull Accommodating: Golden Retriever Avoiding: Roadrunner Collaboration: Canadian Goose Compromising: Elk/Deer Competing is assertive and uncooperative, a power-oriented mode. When competing, an individual pursues his or her own concerns at the other person’s expense, using whatever power seems appropriate to win his or her position. Competing might mean standing up for your rights, defending a position you believe is correct, or simply trying to win. Accommodating is unassertive and cooperative - the opposite of competing. When accommodating, an individual neglects his or her own concerns to satisfy the concerns of the other person; there is an element of self-sacrifice in this mode. Accommodating might take the form of selfless generosity or charity, obeying another person’s order when you would prefer not to, or yielding to another’s point of view. Avoiding is unassertive and uncooperative. When avoiding, an individual does not immediately pursue either his or her own concerns or those of the other person. He or she does not address the conflict. Avoiding might take the form of diplomatically sidestepping an issue, postponing an issue until a better time, or simply withdrawing from a threatening situation. Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative - the opposite of avoiding. When collaborating, an individual attempts to work with the other person to find a solution that fully satisfies the concerns of both. It involves digging into an issue to identify the underlying concerns of the two individuals and to find an alternative that meets both sets of concerns. Collaborating between two persons might take the form of exploring a disagreement to learn from each other’s insights, with the goal of resolving some condition that would otherwise have them competing for resources, or confronting and trying to find a creative solution to an interpersonal problem. Compromising is intermediate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness. When compromising, the objective is to find an expedient, mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties. Compromising falls on a middle ground between competing and accommodating, giving up more than competing but less than accommodating. Likewise, it addresses an issue more directly than avoiding, but doesn’t explore it in as much depth as collaborating. Compromising might mean splitting the difference, exchanging concessions, or seeking a quick middle-ground position.
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Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument
Competing Win Dominate Collaborating Win-Win Integration assertive Compromising Find middle ground Share Thomas & Kilman (1974). Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument. Copyright 1974, 2001 by Xicom, Incorporated. Xicom, Incorporated is a subsidiary of Consulting Psychologists Press, Inc. All rights reserved. Extracted from Competing: Pit Bull Accommodating: Golden Retriever Avoiding: Roadrunner Cobra: Collaboration Eagle: Comrpomising Competing is assertive and uncooperative, a power-oriented mode. When competing, an individual pursues his or her own concerns at the other person’s expense, using whatever power seems appropriate to win his or her position. Competing might mean standing up for your rights, defending a position you believe is correct, or simply trying to win. Accommodating is unassertive and cooperative - the opposite of competing. When accommodating, an individual neglects his or her own concerns to satisfy the concerns of the other person; there is an element of self-sacrifice in this mode. Accommodating might take the form of selfless generosity or charity, obeying another person’s order when you would prefer not to, or yielding to another’s point of view. Avoiding is unassertive and uncooperative. When avoiding, an individual does not immediately pursue either his or her own concerns or those of the other person. He or she does not address the conflict. Avoiding might take the form of diplomatically sidestepping an issue, postponing an issue until a better time, or simply withdrawing from a threatening situation. Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative - the opposite of avoiding. When collaborating, an individual attempts to work with the other person to find a solution that fully satisfies the concerns of both. It involves digging into an issue to identify the underlying concerns of the two individuals and to find an alternative that meets both sets of concerns. Collaborating between two persons might take the form of exploring a disagreement to learn from each other’s insights, with the goal of resolving some condition that would otherwise have them competing for resources, or confronting and trying to find a creative solution to an interpersonal problem. Compromising is intermediate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness. When compromising, the objective is to find an expedient, mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties. Compromising falls on a middle ground between competing and accommodating, giving up more than competing but less than accommodating. Likewise, it addresses an issue more directly than avoiding, but doesn’t explore it in as much depth as collaborating. Compromising might mean splitting the difference, exchanging concessions, or seeking a quick middle-ground position. unassertive Avoiding Delay Neglect Accommodating Yield Appeasement uncooperative cooperative
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The Five Dysfunctions of a Team
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team - Patrick Lencioni "The second dysfunction is a fear of conflict among team members. All great relationships require productive conflict in order to grow.” "The second dysfunction is a fear of conflict among team members. All great relationships require productive conflict in order to grow. Unfortunately, conflict is considered taboo in many situations, especially at work. And the higher you go up the management chain, the more you find people spending inordinate amounts of time and energy trying to avoid the kind of passionate debates that are essential to any great team."
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Good conflict is about unfiltered, passionate debate around issues
Conflict will at times be uncomfortable Conflict norms must be clear The fear of personal conflict should not prevent productive debate
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Competing Goal To win Psychology High on assertiveness
Low on cooperativeness Appropriate application When quick, decisive action is vital, like emergencies When unpopular actions need implementing on important issues When you know you are ‘right’ on issues vital to organizational welfare Competing Collaborating Compromising Avoiding Accommodating
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Competing Gains Chance to win everything Exercise own sense of power
Alienates others Exciting Gamesmanship Losses Chance to lose everything Discourages others from working with you Competing Collaboration Compromising Avoiding Accommodating
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Collaborating Goal To find a win-win situation Psychology
High assertiveness High cooperativeness Appropriate application When both sets of concerns are too important to be compromised in finding an integrative solution When your objective is to learn To merge insights from people with different perspectives To gain commitment by incorporating concerns into a consensus Competing Collaborating Compromising Avoiding Accommodating
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Collaborating Gains Both sides “win” Creativity in problem solving
Maintains relationship New level of understanding of situation Improves quality of solution and commitment Losses Nobody wins when there is a tie Risk alienating all sides Competing Collaborating Compromising Avoiding Accommodating
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Compromising Competing Collaborating Compromising Avoiding
Goal To find a middle ground Psychology Moderate assertiveness Moderate cooperativeness Appropriate application When goals are important, but not worth the effort or potential disruption of more assertive modes When opponents with equal power are committed to mutually exclusive goals To achieve temporary settlements to complex issues To arrive at expedient solutions under time pressure As a backup when collaborating or competing is unsuccessful Competing Collaborating Compromising Avoiding Accommodating
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Compromising Gains No one returns home empty-handed Keeps the peace
May or may not encourage creativity Losses Since neither side is totally satisfied, conflicts are likely to recur later Neither side realizes self-determination fully May or may not encourage creativity Competing Collaborating Compromising Avoiding Accommodating
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Avoiding Goal To delay Psychology Low on assertiveness
Low on cooperativeness Appropriate application When an issue is trivial or more important issues are pressing When you perceive no chance of satisfying your concerns When potential disruption outweighs the benefits of resolution To let people cool down and regain perspective When gathering information supersedes immediate decision When others can resolve the conflict more effectively Competing Collaborating Compromising Avoiding Accommodating
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Avoiding Gains No energy expenditure: Conserve for more important fights Losses Less stimulation Less creative problem solving Little understanding of the needs of others Incomplete comprehension of work environment Competing Collaborating Compromising Avoiding Accommodating
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Accommodating The goal To yield Psychology Low on assertiveness
High on cooperativeness Appropriate application When you decide to allow a better position to be heard and to learn and show your reasonableness When issues are more important to others than yourself To minimize loss when you are outmatched and losing When harmony and stability are especially important Competing Collaborating Compromising Avoiding Accommodating
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Accommodating Gains Little muss or fuss No feathers ruffled
Others may view you as supportive Energy free for other pursuits Losses Lowered self-assertion Risk of lowered self-esteem Loss of power Absence of your unique contribution to the situation Others dependent on you may not think you “go to bat” for them Competing Collaborating Compromising Avoiding Accommodating
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Conclusion Competing Collaborating Compromising Avoiding Accommodating
People tend to handle negative conflict in patterned styles Competing Collaborating Compromising Avoiding Accommodating There is no single best conflict management style Each style has strengths and limitations depending on the situation Being aware of our personal style is a first step toward developing personal and team strategies for more effectively handling inevitable conflicts By effectively managing conflict we can energize ourselves and others in constructive directions Competing Collaborating Compromising Avoiding Accommodating
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